'Picturing a future,
then tossing it out the window'
--
The next few days were full of every Avonlea student preparing to leave for college. That meant packing, goodbyes, and a bit of panic.
At first, Anne felt incredibly lonely and couldn't help but wish for Matthew and Marilla. Sure, she'd be preparing to leave them. But at least someone would be helping her make sure she had everything she needed. At this point, she was just packing away her belongings and some of what Marilla had she assumed would be useful.
That's when Rachel Lynde busted through her door.
"Anne!"
Anne clamored down the stairs, half dressed, with her hair in messy braids from packing.
"Yes?"
"Oh dear child," Rachel put her hand on her chest, "you do need my help."
Anne raised her eyebrows, "For once, I agree with you."
"I beg your pardon?"
"Please help me pack." Anne grabbed Rachel's arm and yanked her up to her room.
When they reached the top of the stairs, Rachel was panting, "Please Anne, I'm still in a corset. Which you should be too."
Anne froze, "A corset? Why would I have a corset?"
Rachel put her hands on her hips, "I see we need to go to Charlottetown."
"Charlottetown?"
"You'll need a few more dresses too, if you still only have those few Marilla made for you." Rachel began pacing.
"Dresses?" Anne grew a bit of excitement among the overwhelmed confusion.
"You have all that money right? From the sales and Marilla's passing?"
Anne's heart hurt. It saddened her to think of Marilla's death as a transaction to buy dresses of all things. What would she think of that?
Rachel finally looked over at Anne to see her pained look, "I'm sorry."
An apology from Rachel Lynde shook Anne out of her misery, "You're sorry?"
"I didn't mean to make light of your mother's passing. She would be happy your future is taken care of." Rachel patted Anne's shoulder.
Anne closed her eyes and sighed, "I know."
"And she'd be happy to know I'm here to guide you!" Rachel walked over to the trunk and opened it.
Her mouth gaped, "My, my, we have much work to do."
Anne rolled her eyes tiredly, but deep down felt grateful, "Okay."
--
Gilbert wasn't lonely, but his entire home was in a state of disarray.
He didn't have too much to pack, and Toronto was large enough he could get whatever he needed upon arrival if he missed something. His wardrobe was also much easier to pack than that of a woman's.
The chaos rose from the people around him watching his every move as he packed.
Bash fell into a pit of whininess.
"You're going to leave me all alone with two women? You know what that's going to do to me when Delly gets older? It'll drive me crazy, Blythe!" He trailed Gilbert as he attempted to pack.
"This was always the plan, Bash."
Gilbert heaved his chest onto his bed and started packing away some of his books, clothes, and miscellaneous possessions.
Bash stood in the doorway of Gilbert's bedroom, "But I didn't realize how much I didn't like it until now."
Bash wasn't actually angry at Gilbert, more sad he was going to miss his brother. And when Bash wasn't angry but wanted to complain, he became whiny.
Mary attempted to mitigate the damage by following her husband and scolding him, "Leave the poor boy alone, he's going to follow his dreams for his future. Just like you did when you moved out here."
Bash turned to face her in the hallway behind him, "I moved out here to be with him!"
"And your wife and daughter are just consolation prizes?" Mary put her hands on her hips.
That's when Bash knew he made a mistake, "No, no-"
"I moved out here to be with you! And had our baby girl because of you!" Mary was becoming actually angry now. She was aware Bash was just being whiny. But Bash's words could still be hurtful.
This yelling woke Delly from her nap, making her cry.
"And look now you made her cry." Mary added on.
"You were the last one who yelled." Bash pointed out defensively.
Mary squeezed her hands into fists angrily, "Sebastian Lacroix sometimes you make my blood boil!"
Gilbert's ears were ringing.
Somehow the space in his trunk was growing smaller but the items he needed to pack away grew by the second. He could barely focus on packing strategically because all he could think of was all of the people around him he was leaving so soon. Not to mention the long journey he had to take alone in just a few days, all to lead to a future that intimidated him.
Bash whining, Mary retaliating, and Delly crying were the last distractions he needed right now.
Through the married couple's squabbling, Gilbert had taken to gripping onto his trunk until his knuckles were white and keeping his back to the two of them.
But in a snap, he turned around.
"Will both of you please stop yelling!"
Bash and Mary both stared at him, surprised at the outburst. A Gilbert outburst was rare.
"I'll get the baby." Gilbert pushed past them.
He went downstairs to where Delly was still crying in her crib and picked her up, soothing her softly.
As chaotic as the his home was over the past few days, he knew he would miss it and every admittedly loud person inside.
Bash was always a brother to him, since they met on the steamship. Mary had become a sister quickly once they married. They all lived together in a fun, unconventional, happy harmony.
Delly, as he rocked her in his arms, was the little sister he'd never have.
He was so grateful all of them now warmed his previously cold and empty home.
Mary approached him with Bash behind her, "We're sorry. We're just going to miss you."
Gilbert put down a calmed Delly in her crib.
"I'll miss you both too."
And he pulled them both into a hug.
--
As promised, Anne joined Miss Stacy for tea during one of her final days in Avonlea.
She knocked on her door, a complete bundle of nerves.
What will Miss Stacy think of my choice? Will she shame me? Hate me?
Miss Stacy opened her door, "Anne! Look at you! Please do come in."
Anne walked in and sat at the table that was prepared with tea cups and biscuits.
She felt incredibly grown up going to her first tea in a corset with her hair pinned. And how fitting it be with her kindred spirit and mentor, Miss Stacy.
"So tell me," Miss Stacy joined her, "Are you excited for Queens?"
For a moment, Anne just stared. Of course Miss Stacy knew she chose Queens. At least she didn't have to break the news herself.
"I'm excited to begin a new life." Anne responded carefully and non-specifically.
Miss Stacy caught onto the dodge, "What do you intend on studying? Still something in journalism?"
Anne didn't know her answer to this question, because she didn't really think about it.
"I'm not quite sure yet, I'll have to see what they have available." Anne stayed aloof.
"You're not sure what they have available?" Miss Stacy pushed.
"Well for a while I was considering become a teacher." Anne thought back to when Miss Stacy first arrived.
"What changed?" Miss Stacy prodded.
"I had my interest in journalism," Anne lost her facade, "and I visited U of T and it was so lovely...."
She caught herself as Miss Stacy's eyebrows raised.
"Anne, sometimes we feel the need to do what is expected of us. As if the world is watching for us to make the wrong or right move. And if we make the wrong choice, everyone who had that expectation will say they knew what was right all along."
Anne bit her lip to contain every emotion she was afraid to show.
Miss Stacy continued, "But the reality is only you can truly know what's right for you. The choices we make, right or wrong, are ours to make. Life is full of mishaps and we should embrace them, not fear them."
Anne swallowed, "I know. It's just felt like all of these choices are so defining that I have to get them right."
"Do you feel like you made the right choice?"
Anne stared at the teacup in her hands. She chose Queens to be close to those she loved. How could she doubt that choice?
"I don't know."
Miss Stacy was holding her tongue. Once Anne sent her letter to Liz kindly denying the offer, Liz reached out to Miss Stacy asking what happened. She had no idea.
All she wanted to do was shake sense into Anne. She truly believed Anne was settling for Queens for others and denying herself an incredible opportunity for adventure and growth.
But she knew her telling Anne that would make her no better than those who told Anne what to do in the past. Anne had to come to her own conclusions.
"Wherever you go, and whatever you do there, the world will be better off for it." Miss Stacy decided to assure her.
Anne only nodded, her mind racing behind her eyes.
"And Anne please know," Miss Stacy settled the teacup in Anne's hands that had started shaking, "if you ever need anything, Liz and I are in your corner."
Anne had been worried Miss Stacy would be disappointed in her. She now realized her real fear should have been Miss Stacy confusing her.
"Thank you Miss Stacy. I'll keep that in mind."