It wasn't safe to approach Kribirsk on this side of the Fold. So they would stage their attack from West Ravka, and that meant dealing with the logistics of a crossing.
It wasn't possible for Nadia and Zoya couldn't keep the Bittern aloft with too many additional passengers, so it was agreed that Tolya would escort the Soldat Sol to the eastern shore of the Fold and wait for them there.
It would take them a full day on horseback, and that would give the rest of us time to enter West Ravka and locate a suitable base camp. Then they'd loop back to lead the others across the Fold under Alina's protection.
Olysia had to steal her nerves away as they sped toward the strange black fog of the Shadow Fold.
Bad memories kept popping up, reminding her of what occurred where the light could not reach. Memories of a weaker her when she felt like she had no other choices. The her that was willing to just keep taking one more step forward in hopes that she might one day be allowed to walk away despite knowing that would never have happened.
But Olysia was different now. She had grown from that terrified girl she had once been, fighting to simply stay alive. Now, that terrified girl was angry and had something to fight for.
She glared at the Fold as if she could burn it to the ground as they entered.
The volcra came at them but Alina kept them at bay with ease until they burst into the sky above West Ravka.
The territory west of the Fold had been evacuated. They flew over abandoned villages and houses, all without seeing a soul.
They set down at an apple farm just southwest of what was left of Novokribirsk, less than a mile from the dark reach of the Fold. There was a barn full of cider presses and it's orchards were thick with fruit that would never be harvested.
The owner's house was lavish, a perfect little cake of a building, lovingly maintained, and topped with a white cupola.
Harshaw broke a window and climbed inside to unlock the doors to let the rest of them in.
"New money." Zoya sniffed as they made their way through the over-decorated rooms, each shelf and mantel brimming with porcelain figurines and curios.
"Vile." Genya picked up a ceramic pig.
"It reminds me of a merchant's mansion." Bastian held back a grimace.
"I like it here," Adrik protested. "It's nice."
Zoya made a retching sound. "Maybe taste will come with age."
"I'm only three years younger than you." Adrik protested yet again.
"Then maybe you're just doomed to be tacky." She lifted a shoulder.
The furniture had been covered with sheets. Misha yanked one free and ran from room to room trailing it behind him like a cape. Most of the cupboards had been emptied, but Harshaw found a tin of sardines that he opened and shared with Oncat.
Once they made sure there were no other squatters, they left David, Genya, and Misha to get started procuring materials for the production of lumiya and blasting powders.
Olysia had all but begged to leave with the rest of them, not quite sure she could handle being around the couple. She mentioned they would need a Fabrikator in case anything were to happen to the ship or if something worse would happen.
Alina agreed when she saw the pained look in Olysia's eye whenever she looked back at David and Genya who were never more than a few feet apart from each other.
The others reboarded the Bittern to cross back to Ravka.
They planned to reunite with the Soldat Sol at the monument to Sankta Anastasia that stood on a low hill overlooking what had once been Tsemna. They made camp for the night. The air was still warm enough that they didn't need tents so they laid out the bedrolls next to the foot of the statue near a patchy field studded with red boulders. Mal took Harshaw with him to try to find a game for dinner.
Olysia found herself alone, stuck staring at the memory of a once forgotten woman in favor of a so-called Saint.
Anastasia had helped Tsemna survive the wasting plague that had claimed half the population of the surrounding villages, but Tsemna wasn't lucky enough to survive the Fold. It had been swallowed up when the Black Heretic's disastrous experiments first created the Unsea.
The monument was an eerie sight, a giant stone woman rising out of the earth, arms spread wide, her benevolent gaze fixed on the nothingness of the Fold. Anastasia was rumored to have rid countless towns of sickness, a miracle from a Saint. But Anastasia was nothing more than a Healer.
As Olysia walked away from the stone, she let herself imagine what it would have been like. To have statues erected in your honor, to be this symbol of divine intervention when in all odds when you had simply been just a person. A person who used their gifts to do good. A person with a life. A life filled with friends and family. A life filled with laughter and tears. A life filled with happiness and hardships, and hope, and heartbreak. A life without miracles to save themselves.
Saints lived and died no differently than Olysia would.
She kept walking until she found Alina staring at the Fold. "Would you like company?"
"If you're here to tell me to look on the bright side of things, I'll pass." Alina didn't look back at her.
"I think you have me confused with someone else." Olysia snorted. "Misery loves company so I thought we could share."
"Oh."
"Yeah." Olysia nodded to the black mass in front of them. "How have you been coping with everything?"
"I don't really think I have." Alina frowned. "I've just had to keep moving. Destroy the Darkling, destroy the Fold, find a way to keep Mal...." She trailed off.
"That was a rather unfortunate turn of events, wasn't it?" Olysia sighed.
"I can't imagine a world without him in it." Alina scrunched her eyes. "There has to be another way. There just has to be."
Olysia stayed silent.
"How can you do it? Go on, without him." Alina clarified when she saw Olysia furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. "Without knowing if he'll ever come back."
"Because I have to. There's no other option. I can't just stop. I just have to keep moving." Olysia's shoulders collapsed. There was a sting in her chest that she quickly tried to get rid of but like every other time it happened, it lingered. "To be honest, I don't think I have been."
Alina was the one to stay silent this time.
"He's been plaguing my dreams. I scowl at the sight of you and Mal. David and Genya make me sick. I can see him everywhere I go." She closed her eyes as pictured his golden curls, his ridiculous charming smile, his hazel eyes that held a soft look in them whenever they were directed at her. "I can feel him."
There was a soft scraping sound behind them that caused Olysia to turn and her breath caught in her throat.
Nikolai was perched atop a high rock.
His taloned feet gripped the ridge of the rock, and his shadow wings beat gently at the air, his eyes that damned black instead of hazel.
"Nik." Olysia breathed out.
She slowly stepped forward, scared that any sudden movement would send him away.
Nikolai didn't move, seemingly just observing Olysia. There was a flash of light that caught his attention. He frowned, folded his wings and lept soundlessly from the rock. His eyes were focused on Olysia's neck.
Olysia didn't move as he stalked towards her but she couldn't stop her chest from rising and falling rapidly.
When he was less than a foot away, he cocked his head to one side.
Olysia could not have cared less for the inky lines that coursed up his neck or the black eyes because all she saw was Nikolai.
"It's Olysia." She fought herself from trying to reach out to him. "Do you remember me?"
Nikolai just kept watching her.
"Alina, give me the ring." Olysia ordered.
"Olysia-"
"Now."
Alina meekly walked forward, terrified of what Nikolai might do.
Olysia held her hand behind her, not tearing her eyes away from him. She felt the weight of the ring and brought it in front of her.
"Do you remember?"
His frown deepened as he reached for her.
Nikolai completely ignored the Lantsov Emerald and instead his hands reached for the chain that laid upon her chest. He held it up and examined the ring that was on it, his ring.
Maybe Olysia was delusional, maybe she had finally lost it but when he looked up at her, she swore she saw his eyes soften slightly.
A tear slipped out as she wiped it away. Olysia slowly raised her hand to lay gently on his cheek and he let her.
"Couldn't let me get too far away from you, could you?" She dragged her thumb along his jaw and watched as his eyes fluttered slightly as more tears filled her vision.
Nikolai stole the ring and took her hand off his face. He slid the giant gem onto her ring finger.
Olysia wouldn't let herself think too much of it.
"We're going to find a way." She swore. "And if there isn't one, I'll make one. I promise, Nikolai."
He started pointing to Alina who was behind her and made a sweeping gesture that was similar to how Alina summoned.
"You want her to summon light?" Olysia immediately understood what he was saying.
His face stayed blank.
"Alina summon sunlight, please?"
"That?" She trusted Alina did what she asked.
Nikolai's gaze for the first time since he appeared was not on Olysia. He was utterly transfixed on the light. He tore his eyes away and went back to Olysia.
"We don't know what it would do to you." She protested.
He grasped her hand and slapped it against his chest. His heart was beating steadily against her palm.
"No." She shook her head. "We don't know-"
He frantically slapped her hand against his chest as if he was trying to say something.
"It could kill you." Olysia whispered.
The corner of his mouth curled, the faintest suggestion of Nikolai's wry smile as if to ask if this fate was any better.
Olysia exhaled deeply. "Can you try, Alina?"
"I can, but-".
"Just try it, please." Olysia shut her eyes, begging her to carry out Nikolai's wishes. She tried not to get upset that she wasn't able to help him like Alina could. Olysia felt like she could never be what Nikolai needed her to be. "Do you need me to move?"
Nikolai immediately shook his head and gripped her hand tighter.
"I think I can do it from here." Alina reassured Nikolai who seemed to grow frantic at the idea of her moving away from him.
Olysia watched Nikolai wince as he was showered in light.
As the light grew more intense, Olysia whispered encouragement to him.
The black cracks on his torso began to recede and Olysia had to temper her excitement.
"It's working." Olysia gasped.
He grimaced, but waved Alina on, asking for more.
Olysia watched as the black veins faded and recoiled but she grew worried when he began panting with his eyes closed.
A low, pained whine rose from his throat as his grip around her wrist was iron.
"Nikolai—" Alina sounded concerned.
All of a sudden all of the cracks that disappeared exploded outward, just as dark as before.
Nikolai flinched and shoved away from Olysia with a frustrated snarl. He looked down at his chest, misery carved into his features. His shoulders slumped, his wings roiling with the same shifting movement as the Fold.
"I meant what I said." Olysia moved closer to him. "You're going to be okay. We'll work something out."
He dropped to his haunches, elbows resting on his knees, face buried in his hands.
Olysia couldn't stand to see him this broken and defeated. It was inherently wrong. Nikolai always had that neverending sense of hopefulness. He always had a plan when things didn't go right. He always believed things would work out.
But, he seemed to have run out so Olysia would shoulder the burden for him.
She would search deep within her soul to find some semblance of hope to share for him. She would create a million plans, each one more ridiculous and grand than the last for him. She would be the one to believe enough for the both of them if he needed her to.
Olysia would pray to the nonexistent Saints for him, if it meant there was even the smallest chance it might help.
She kneeled down next to him. He wouldn't meet her eyes.
She reached out and touched his arm. His skin was warm, the feel of it unchanged despite the shadows lurking beneath it. When he didn't react to her, Olysia slipped her arms around him.
"We'll figure it out, Nikolai." She whispered.
He dropped his forehead to her shoulder
"It will work out, okay? We'll find a way." Olysia kept repeating. "I promise."
He released a small, shuddering sigh.
Then he inhaled and tensed. He turned his head and she could feel his breath on her neck. He scraped one of his teeth beneath her jaw.
"Nik?"
His arms clamped around her and dug his claws into her back.
"Nikolai." Olysia pushed away from him and shot to her feet.
His hands flexed. His lips had pulled back to reveal his onyx fangs
"Stop that." Olysia snapped at Alina who raised her hands to combat him.
"Olysia-"
Olysia just shook her head. With a sigh, Alina slightly lowered her hands but kept them up if Nikolai didn't stop.
"You can control this, Nikolai." Olysia tried reasoning with him.
He took a step toward her. Another rumbling, animal growl rolled through him.
"You won't do this and I know you won't." Olysia stood in front of him completely defenseless, unwilling to run away. "Because I believe in you, Nik. I always have and I always will."
Her words must have snapped Nikolai back to reality because his face crumpled in horror at what he tried to do, what he almost did do.
His black eyes brimmed with flickering shadows.
He clenched his fists, threw back his head. The tendons in his neck knotted, and he released an echoing shriek of helplessness and rage.
He launched himself into the air and hurtled straight for the Fold.
"Nikolai!" Olysia screamed but he was already gone, swallowed by the seething blackness.
She heard footsteps and she couldn't care less to see who it was, too consumed by Nikolai.
Olysia was vaguely aware of the conversation happening behind her.
"We could have had Mal put an arrow through him."
Olysia felt her hand clench unconsciously and she heard Harshaw cough.
She felt a hand rest on her shoulder. "Olysia."
She uncurled her fist and glared at Mal. Her glare turned into a frown when she saw the red splatter on Harshaw's hand.
"I apologize, Harshaw."
He nodded wearily before wiping his hand on his jacket.
"He's gone now, and there's no point fighting about it. Harshaw, go start a fire. Zoya, the grouse we caught needs cleaning."
She stared at him and didn't budge. He rolled his eyes.
"All right, they need cleaning by someone else. Please go find somebody to order around."
"My pleasure."
"They're all crazy, Oncat." Harshaw returned his flint to his sleeve. "Invisible armies, monster princes, controlling blood. Let's go set fire to something."
Olysia went to rub her forehead and the weight on her hand threw her off. She looked at her hand and saw the giant ring that gleamed against her hand. It hurt her to watch it glitter, knowing that it wasn't hers.
She harshly yanked it off of finger and held it up to Alina, refusing to look at it or her.
Alina didn't take it.
"He must have confused me for you."
When it was clear Alina wasn't going to take it, Olysia shoved it into her hands and stormed away, not willing to let herself be consumed by her swollen heart.
a.n
Olysia in that one scene: Stop it. This isn't you, baby. Look at me, hey look at me🥺💔😔
Happy Tortured Poets Department Release Day for those who celebrate. As someone who went to the Tampa shows and Florida!!! being one of my favorite songs, makes me feel special. I Can Do It With A Broken Heart, Who's Afraid of Little Old Me? are of my favorites, but I have to relisten bc I was so overwhelmed with the Anthropology that I think I stopped computing.
Olysia and her complicated relationship with the Saints, hmmmmm...
I actually really love Nikolai and Olysia with everything in me. They deserve the happiest of endings after all the years of angst and inability to be together and if they don't get a happiest of happiest of ending... I think I will combust if they go through one more sad thing (I am the writer and have complete control of this story but only superficial because what is supposed to happens simple spills out from somewhere beyond and falls through my little fingertips).
Finals week or my final week? I guess we'll see
As mentioned, finals are coming up and I have become an academic victim who needs an academic miracle. To procrastinate, I have been writing instead of the many things to study for. You win some, you lose some.
Anyway, may those who are in preparation for any type of finals... may you pass them all with stellar marks, may you stay hydrated, may you try to sleep, may you eat well. The light at the end of the tunnel is coming and I know it may seem more like the light of a supersonic train, but I promise it is the sun. Hang in there a little while longer:)
Sorry for the extra long a.n but I felt the need to yap... xoxo