((Okay guys so before you start reading the next chapter I just wanted to fill you guys in on what's gonna happen with this stories. Like "When I Said Forever" it will have 19 chapters, but it will also have an epilogue because this is the last group. So with 19 chapters in mind we only have 7 chapters after this one. Which means stuff is going to start to all come together and wrap up. That also means that the happiness that all you readers have wanted is somewhere in the horizon, slowly coming to towards us. I hope and pray that you guys all stick around for the end of the book because I think it's gonna be really good. Anyway here's chapter 12. And like always don't forget to vote, comment, and follow :) <4))
~~Louis's POV~~
A few hours after getting on the freeway, I pull of in Doncaster. I take the familiar route to my house and park in the driveway. I didn't tell my mum that I was coming so this should be a nice surprise. I get out of the car and walk to the door without my bags, I can get those later. I ring the doorbell and from the other side of the door I hear someone rustle about. A few moments later the door opens and my younger sister, Fizz, is standing in the doorway.
"Oh my god, Louis!" She shouts diving at me and engulfing me in a bear hug, "I didn't know you were coming home! Why didn't mum tell me?" She says letting go of me and running back into the house shouting for my mum.
From upstairs I hear my mum receive the surprise of me being here. There's a rumble on the staircase and she appears at the bottom of the stairs.
"BooBear! I didn't know you were coming home! Don't you have class? Why didn't you say anything about visiting?" She says shuffling towards me and wrapping her arms around me. I squeeze her tight and inhale the warm, homey smell of her. Gosh have I missed mum. She lets me go and looks at me with excitement.
"How long are you staying?" She asks turning around and walking towards the living room. I follow behind her quickly and settle on the couch next to her.
"Um actually I'm not visiting mum. I'm moving back to Doncaster. All my stuff is in my car," I say quietly looking down. Here comes the why-are-you-moving-back-what-happened speech. I don't know if I can talk about it right now. I had to stop on the way here at least half a dozen times because I was crying too hard.
"Oh. Why? Is everyone moving back or just you and Harry? Where's Harry?" She asks confused. Her face lights up in understanding. Thank The Lord she figured it out. Hopefully I won't have to explain anything, "Harry's with his mum obviously. I forgot he isn't my son. When is he stopping by?"
Well crap she doesn't understand. Well great now I have to explain to her. I just need to do it without crying. I can do this just be calm.
"No it's just me mum. Everyone, including Harry, stayed in London. I'm the only one that came back," I say softly, keeping my composure. I look at her and she is more confused than before.
"Why Boo? Did something happen?" She asks scooching closer to me and placing her arm on my shoulder. I ready myself to tell her but I feel the tears already pickling in the back of my eyes. So instead of delivering the truth I lie.
"I was just super homesick. I missed you and the girls and just the town. So I decided to come back. The others wanted to stay there so they did," I say semi-confidently. Hopefully she won't notice I'm lying. I look up and put on fake smile. She smiles back convinced.
"Well I missed you too Boo! It's good to have you back," she says giving me one-more quick hug. She stands up and walks to the door to the living room, "I'm gonna go start on dinner. Your room is still the same as it was when you left. I'll call you down when dinner's ready." I give her a quick nod and stand up from the couch. This went a lot easier than I thought it would.
~~Harry's POV~~
Why did he leave? I thought we were getting better. We lay next to each other last night, well Zayn was in between us, but we put aside our problems to help Zayn. I thought that meant that we were starting to be okay. I guess not.
"Guys what are we gonna do?" I say looking at Zayn, who is sitting next to me, Niall and Eleanor, who are holding each other on the couch, and Liam, who is still sitting in the barstool. They all shrug their shoulders without moving their heads.
"Well we have to do something. We can just let him leave. I can't just let him leave. I love him..." I say quietly, "we could go after him?" I recommend.
"I don't think that's a good idea Harry?" Eleanor says, untwisting herself from Niall and sitting up, "he obviously left because he didn't want to be here. Going after him would defeat the purpose of him leaving."
"Well maybe he shouldn't have left!" I say getting angry. How can they be so calm about this? The love of my life just left and they are as calm as cucumbers, "you guys we have to do something. Anything..."
"Harry," Liam says, finally standing up from this stool and sitting on the chair in front of me, "I think the best thing to do is to give him some space and some time. Maybe in a few weeks, or months, you could try talking to him. But by the sound of our letters, he is too overwhelmed to be around any of us. Especially you. No offence." He says calmly before standing back up and walking towards his room.
I look to Zayn and he nods his head, "I agree. Just give him some space. He'll come around." He smiles at me and I return a small grin. I don't know what I'm going to do without Louis.
~~Zayn's POV~~
After staying and comforting Harry for a little longer, I retire to the guest bedroom/Louis' old room. I don't even want to try and be around Liam around. I don't know what I would say to him. And I definitely don't know where we stand.
I feel like our fight was totally stupid, but at the same time justified. Maybe I don't know who he really is. Because the Liam that I knew would've never acted like that. But do I know the real Liam, or is the Liam that I know not that real Liam. I just don't know.
What I do know is that everything in this house is screwed up. Harry and Louis are completely screwed. I don't want to tell Louis, but I don't see them fixing this. Louis wouldn't have left if he wanted to fix it. He would've toughed it out and stayed. I just can't tell Harry this, not now. I don't think he could take it. Right now the only thing he has in his life is the hope that the rest of his life isn't over. If I take that away I don't think he'll survive.
I'll just give him time. Hopefully he'll move on and I won't have to break it to him. Maybe well realise that there is life after this and he can go and try and find one for himself. I don't know what's going to happen. But for now all I can do is hope and pray that everything will be okay.
~~Liam's POV~~
I shut my bedroom door and collapse on my bed. This has been a completely horrible day. Louis is gone and I'm not anywhere closer to fixing things with Zayn. I wish I just stop this horrible tape and rewind it all. Start again from when we first came here. We could know what went wrong and try and keep them from happening.
Sadly we can't, so I just need to figure out how to fix things with Zayn. Like Louis said I need to worry about my relationship. What happens between him and Harry will happen. There's no point in letting my relationship end up the way theirs did.
As I lay there brainstorming many ways to get Zayn back, a knock at the door pulls me from my thoughts. I tell the knocker to come in and Harry appears from the other side of the door. I realise that I haven't talked to since I called him all those horrible things about what he did to Louis.
"Hey, Harry," I say sitting up in the bed and scooching over so he can sit down. He hesitantly walks over to the bed and slowly sits down at the edge of the bed. Tired of his shyness, I wrap my arm around his waist and pull him into a hug. I squeeze him tight and ruffle his hair a bit. He pushes away from me with a grunt and does the weird hair flipping thing he does to get it back to the curly-not-styled style he had before.
"Harry, I just want to apologise for how I acted the past few days. I was a really big jerk to you. You are my best friend and I completely abandoned you when you needed me the most. I should've been there for you bust I wasn't. I just hope that you can forgive me and I can be here for you now," I say looking down at the bed. I patiently wait for his response, but nothing comes. I look up and find that he has moved his head closer to mine. Before I know it his hear comes even closer and our lips brush together. Without thinking I bring my hand to his hair and pull his lips closer to mine. For a few seconds the kiss is stiff and uncomfortable but slowly we both get used to it and it becomes better.
His lips are so much rougher than Zayn's, but they aren't as big. They taste like the tears he was crying a little bit ago with just a tinge of mint gum that he must've been chewing earlier. His body moves closer to mine and I lay on my back. A second after our lips disconnect he straddles my hips and brings his head back to mine so our lips can touch again.
For a while we are like this. At some point my shirts comes off and his follows closely afterwards. I feel his hands work their way down my torso and abdomen to the waistband it my trousers. There's a bit of pressure from him undoing the button, and then the sound of him unzipping them. He pulls my pants off me in one quick motion and looks at my member bulging from underneath my briefs.
He palms me through the fabric and it only makes me harder. I push him onto his back and straddle him. With me in control I strip him down to his boxers as well. My lips find their way back to his and we start another snogging session. I feel his hands slowly pull my boxers down and the relief from the pressure makes me gasp into this mouth. He chuckles a bit and pushes me on my back. He puts my legs on either sides of him and lowers his head closer to mine. His mouth is about to envelope me when a shriek from the doorway stops him.
His eyes widen in shock and he flies away from me. I tilt my head back to see who it is and see Zayn standing in the doorway with a heartbroken look on his face. I quickly get off the bed and rush to him.
"Zayn, babe, it's not what it looks like," I say stopping a couple feet in front of him. His face turns from sadness to heartbreak.
"It's not what it looks like?! You guys were about to have sex, what the hell else could it look like?!" He screams at me. His face turns red and his eyes become watery.
"No. We were just-" I start to say before he cuts me off, "you were just about to screw each other?! My best friend and my boyfriend were about to fuck each other in my bed! What a great pair of lads you guys! You guys are perfect for each other! Please don't let me interrupt. I'll leave so you guys can actually fuck each other!" He spins around and storms down the hall. A door slams and I flinch. I turn around and see Harry on the floor rocking back and forth and crying.
"Liam I really am a horrible person. I get drunk completely destroy my boyfriend, cheat on him with some whore, and then with his best friend. I'm such a horrible person. He had every right to leave," he says putting his face into his hands and sobbing even louder. I grab my boxers from the floor and put them back on before sitting down in front of him.
I take his hands away and hold them in mine, "Harry you aren't a horrible person. You just made some mistakes. Everybody makes mistakes. The horrible people are the ones that make mistakes and don't try and fix them."
He shakes his head and continues to cry. I get up and find the rest of my clothes. After putting them back on I hand Harry his and tell him he should probably go to his room. He agrees and a second later is gone. I follow him out but go to the guest bedroom. I knock on the recently fixed door and try to open it. Luckily it isn't locked and I walk in. Zayn is on the bed facing the wall crying.
"What do you want?" He says turning to face the door. He sees it's me and faces the wall again. I make my way to the bed and sit down on the edge.
"Zayn, please just let me explain," I say quietly, looking down at the ground. I feel his body shift a little and he responds.
"Explain what? Why you were about to fuck Harry? How you went from thinking he was a complete douche bag to wanting to have sex with him? Please just explain something, because I'm completely confused," he says cold and monotone.
"I was upset and he was upset and we both needed someone to comfort us. So we found comfort in each other," I say trying to speak the words I'm thinking. He scoffs and shakes his head.
"Comforting doesn't involve you guys having sex," he says with a bit of laughter in his voice, "maybe I don't know who you really are Liam. Because the Liam I know doesn't do any of this crap. He doesn't abandon his friends. He isn't selfish. And he definitely doesn't cheat."
"You do know me babe. I was just stupid. I'm being stupid. I don't have a good reason for what just happened. I'm not even sure what just happened. It all came and went so fast. I'm just asking that you please, please, just try and find it in you to love me again. To somehow find a way to forgive me. Because I love you with all of my being and there's no one else in the universe I'd rather be with," I turn my body towards him and reach for his hand. He pulls away and gets off the bed.
"That's what you said the last time and look what you did: we fought again and you cheated on me," he says. I can hear his voice tremble and I know the tears are coming again soon.
"Zayn I'm not leaving until we figure this out. I'm not going to let what happened between Louis and Harry happen to us. I love you way too much to let that happen," I say getting up off the bed and standing behind him. He turns around and his face to face with him. I grab his cheeks and press my lips to his. For a second he goes with it but then he yanks away and pushes me from his body.
"You don't get to do that!" He shouts. The tears he was holding back finally let go and fall down his face.
"Zayn please..." I say quietly stepping back towards him, "I made a big mistake and I just need you to try and fix it. I need you Zayn..." he hiccups from the tears and shakes his head.
"If you needed me so much you wouldn't have done what you did. Now get out," he says pointing towards the door. This time the tears fall down my face.
"Zayn please..." I say quietly between sobs, "please..."
"Just leave Liam. Please," he says once more. I reluctantly nod my head and walk towards the door, "I love you," I say before leaving the room and shutting the door behind me. In the hallway Eleanor and Niall are standing next to the door quietly.
"What the hell are you guys doing?" I ask pissed off by their eavesdropping.
"Uh, um, we were just, um, nothing!" Niall stutters out before pulling Eleanor down the hallway back towards their room. I walk the short distance to my own and slam the door. I collapse on my bed and just cry.
Cry for everything I've done.
Cry for fucking up my relationship.
Cry for the small odds that I'll ever get Zayn back.
~~Niall's POV~~
Eleanor and I dive into our room after being caught eavesdropping by Liam. We collapse on our bed and sigh. She turns her head and looks at me confused.
"What are we gonna do Ni? Our whole house is going up in flames?" She asks me. I just look and her and shrug my shoulders.
"I really don't know babe. We just have to make sure we stay and strong and do the best we can with them," I say giving her a small smile. She returns it and I reach over and peck her on the lips softly.
~~Louis's POV~~
I got my stuff out of my car and put all of it in my room. Halfway through putting all my clothes in my closet, Fizz comes in and says dinner is ready. I join her in the hallway and we walk down to the dining room together. Once there I take a seat in between the twins, Phoebe and Daisy. My mum comes out with dinner and we all talk about how my life in London was. I lie and say that everything was great, and that the only reason that I came back was because I missed them. Which isn't a complete lie; I did miss them, just not enough to come back home.
After dinner is over, the girls all go into the living to watch a movie. I help mum clear the table and wash dishes. We set up a system of me washing them and her drying them and putting them away. We make small talk, talking about the girls and such. There is a brief moment of silence and mum takes a deep breath. I look at her worried and she gives me a weak smile.
"Boo, why did you really leave London? I could tell all through dinner that missing us wasn't the real reason," I just stare at her, caught in my lie. She raises an eyebrow at me expectantly and I sigh. I put the plate I was washing down and sit at the kitchen table. My mum sits next to me.
"One night we all went out to this bar," I say beginning the story of the fight and everything else. While I explain everything my mum just sits there patiently listening. Not interrupting, just nodding her head to show she understands. When I'm done I look at her, waiting for a reaction.
"I'm so sorry BooBear!" She says wrapping her arms around me and giving me a big hug. I give her a short one back and pull away.
"I just didn't know what to do mum," I explain to her, "I wanted to forgive him more than anything, but I couldn't. I was so afraid I'd forgive him and it would happen again." She nods her head.
"Yeah I get it. But if you still love him running away won't help anything. You need to be there with him so you guys can try and fix stuff. So you can try and forgive him," she says calmly. I smile at her faintly. She always gives the best advice. I just don't know about this time. I just don't know what to do.
"I'll support you in whatever you do honey," she says placing her hand on mine, "but if it were me I'd go back. You can fix stuff when you are hours apart. The best way to solve a problem is to just deal with it, don't run away." She gives my hand a gentle squeeze before leaving the kitchen. I sit there for a moment or two before Daisy comes in. I gesture for her to sit on my lap and she hops on it gladly.
"Boo?" She says in her adorable little-kid voice, "when am I gonna get to see Uncle Hazza? I miss him!" She turns her head to look at me; a questioning look on her face.
"I don't know Daisy, Harry is still in London with Liam and Zayn and everybody else," I say quietly. Her mouth forms into a frown from the news.
"Why didn't he come back with you? I thought husbands never leave each other. Did you guys have a fight?" She asks more confused. I chuckle a bit at her cuteness.
"Yeah we had a fight. A pretty bad one at that. I don't know if we are together anymore," I say trying to explain the situation in little-kid terms. Her frown deepens even further.
"Oh I though you guys were. Well you definitely should be. You guys would be so adorable as husband and husband," she says smiling a little bit, "and I hope you guys get out of your fight. Because you two are too cute to be in a fight."
She gives me a little hug and hops off my lap. She heads towards the living room again but turns around right before she leaves, "if you guys do get married, can I be the flower girl?" She says so sweet and innocent. I nod my head and give her a nod. Her face lights up and she skips the rest of the way to the living room.
Her question sparks a fire in my mind and I think of us getting married. Harry is in this tux, waiting at the end of the aisle for me; us holding hands in front of the priest; exchanging our own personal vows; sliding the ring on his finger and him sliding the other on mine. Being able to finally seal the commitment with a kiss. Being joined to him till death did us part. Being able to call him mine forever.
I pull myself out of the fantasy-esque thoughts and back into reality. Back where the fantasy is far away from being real. Back to where I'm in Doncaster without him. Back to where I cry because I realise I love him and forgive him, but can't do anything about it.