summary : part two to can't do this anymore , i'm not really liking how i finished it maybe i'll do like another part sometime of how the end came to be like a bonus part.
warning : angst and fluff
She sat the two didn't speak a word as her phone rang . She pulled it out to see her sister facetiming her. " thank god your ok , the baby ?" She was almost afraid to asked. " is fine me on other hand broken leg and arm"Y/n Felt like crying . " I need someone to help me out can you come get me" she asked. " I can't and I can let you come here for couple of weeks either the boys have chicken pox which Is dangerous cause you never had it and well your knocked up" she winced . " you've got to be kidding me what the hell am I suppose to do" she actually cried . " I'll take care of you please even after the two weeks you can go" luke spoke up . " you got alot nerve" her sister growled hearing his voice. " Diana not now please my head hurts and I just god " she just hung up before breaking into a heart breaking sob . " why wasn't I enough, why couldn't you just once all I was asking for once be there for me" she sobbed pushing him away when he went to hug her. " step away from the lady with the baby this instant newbie" the preppy voice called . " garcia nows not the .." . " oh my beauty " she cooed hugging the woman tightly . " we came at the wrong time" Emily stood as rest of team looked completely awkward. " no come in" she wiped her face. " I got card from the boys" jj smiled sadly . " same" matt held his up. " I brought book you might like given from the suggestions you've given me" Spencer Reid held the bag up . "I brought you food" rossi smiled. " thank you all" she sniffled . " nah of course you always look out for us least we can do" Emily kissed her head. " what?" Luke looked lost. " she been in book club with Spencer the last year , Emily and her meet for lunch every Thursday , jj and matt well she been helping them and their family's out " rossi explain as she and the girls talked. " I'd no idea" he sighed realising he missed so much . " make it right a woman like that never comes around again trust me you'll never get rid of that regret it follows" he said. " oh well I didn't realise you had visitors , we wanted to check everything with baby , the labs suggest a high HCG level would you mind if we check something" he asked softly as reids head perked up . " of course erm could you" she looked around to the team . " wait outside of course come on" rossi herded then out of the room . " is everything OK, you said the baby is fine" luke stood. " sir lets check it out its nothing to worry about" the doctor smiled softly turning the light off . " this is cold just to warn you" he said squirting the gel on her stomach. She held her breathe hoping everything was ok but expecting the worse giving her recent look. " ah as I expected , baby a is fine and so is baby b " he chuckled. " wait baby what and what" she gasped . " twins Mrs alvez" he smiled. " both are OK" luke almost fell back into his chair . " both are healthy and thriving perfect size for 10 weeks" he smiled . " I think I'm going to be sick" she gagged . " here you go ma'am" the nurse said rubbing her back handing her the barf bag. " I'll print you both pictures" the doctor smiled. " ma'am I'd give them.." the doctor was saying. " move out of my way that is my best friend" she heard penelope shoved passed the man almost knocking him over and if she didn't feel like she was gonna throw up or her life was falling apart , she would of laughed. " you ok , baby ok" she asked. " babies" luke corrected . " oh their going to be so beautiful" she squealed. " dammit" Emily huffed handing money over to a smug looking Reid. She sat idly chatted away to the team as he sat thinking it all over fully thinking of his actions or lack of . He felt the weight of his actions fully more and more . How he couldn't even be the basic need of the woman who made his life worth living and he had the nerve to say that she didn't make his home worth coming home to . It was a home without her , how could he think everything was ok when he barely even talked to her . He watched as she talked away with his team . He wasn't giving up so easy , no he was gonna prove to her she was his world and he wasn't going to let it go this bad again.
She was falling asleep when the team were better word, was kicked out of the room . Luke waved them and noticed some glares from his female teammates. He watch her cheat rise and fall , he knew she was too exhausted to fight him on staying so he selfishly took it . " Emily " he called. " yes" she crossed her arms. " I need to out in my vacation time I have a month saved up" he nodded. " ok i'll filed it and you can start it tomorrow" she nodded as he thanked her. She pretend she didn't didn't hear the exchange but it also didn't change her mind. Realistically what let her fall back into a sense of false security then after thirty days she was again a background character not happening. She felt the world drift away and sleep overtake her too tired mentally and emotionally that she just let him stay . she woke couple of times some due to the doctors checking her over or sometimes the memory of the crash would jolt her awake but she tried to hide it make it like it was her leg or arm that had her waking. The next morning she was told she was discharged to come back for check up and follow ups for prenatal care . thankfully garcia visited bringing her out to the car yet she sat looking at the metal can almost afraid to get in . " it's ok" the peppy tech analyst smiled and with a nod she got into the car . luke sat in the back watching her , he knew when she was anxious or scared which was pouring out of her he wanted to grab her hand and reassure her that he was there but she wouldn't even look in his direction since waking up . stopping at the traffic light her eyes flew shut and her breathing got faster . " shit sorry sweet girl i should of went a different way" garcia instantly . as luke looked out he could see the smashed glass on the ground and bits of blood something told him in his gut it was hers . that dread of losing her completely , the thought of her not walking the same earth as him was too much . he didn't even realise he broke down til the car was pulled over . he didn't even car he pulled out of his seat before getting out of the car completely and rushing to her side . " don't talk just listen ok , you want me to let you go well i'm sorry i cannot do it if it means leaving the BAU , If it means spending the rest of my life i will make it up , i know it just word to you know but i mean it with my heart and soul and every fibre of my being i will prove that you are my everything Y/N ALVEZ" he held her face in his hand and watched the conflict in her eyes like an internal battle was happening . " i don't know , i love you i really do but how do i know this isn't going to happen again i mean i would of followed you to the edge of the world and yet you could even take a step for me , then the babies come i mean whats to say they will be left in the background that is your life , i don't want you to leave you job but i don't want to be left behind either look lets talk more later" she sighed. " oh god sorry to ruin the movie moment but i need a minute" garcia sniffled . " i mean it y/n i will do better , i will do you proud , i will do what i should of and loved you properly. The fact i could of lost you completely , you could of been taken of this earth would of destroyed me" soon all three of them sat in the car crying .
Once home or was it home she was still conflicted on the matter could he really change or could she really put herself through all of it again . the confliction of it all she was having his babies would it hurt to try again for them or was she being weak to try again . she could walk out now head held high or limp in her case or would she give it a trial before the babies came. She sat on the sofa as Garcia ran around mumbling about something she wasn't paying much attention. Only when Garcia kissed and hugged her goodbye promised to be back in the morning . then it was quite almost a deafening silence as the reality of everything set in . she had to laugh when she looked up to see him standing there with bags , she never even noticed he went out because she was so used to being there alone. " i got you the vitamins and pain meds the doctor recommended , i also picked up a decaf version of your favourite coffee and those pastries you like" he smiled awkwardly. " i didn't even notice you left but thanks" she nodded. " i had to get paperwork for my vacation time". She wanted to say more but the emotions of it all everything just broke within her words she meant to say just turned to sobs. " hey hey it's ok" he rushed to her. " no it not because i'm going to give you another chance get use to all this and then it's going to be the same as before" she cried harder . " it will never be the same as before i will not abandon you again , i wont abandon my family , i wanted to worked harder stronger put these guys away so you would be safe in this world i know it sound stupid , a case got me and never said anything , no one did that day the victim was baby it was like i was looking down at you something switched in me i began thinking shit what if it was you one day so i worked harder , stronger so i would make sure you would be safe little did i know what i was doing , trying to make the world a better place for you while hurting you is not right and i will make it up to you y/n i will i can't lose you if it means quitting my job i will for you i will do it" he promised holding her hands maybe it was the release of all her pent up emotions or the fact she still loved his stupid face . " i don't want you to quit your job but you do this to me again i will leave and i wont come back i mean i can't do it anymore but i can try this again , i want to be a family but to be a family you need to be there" she sighed . he didn't even speak he just grabbed her face and kissed her lips pouring every promise and feeling into it. " i love you" he smiled . " i love you too" she smiled.
" where is she i need to see her" the voice in the hallway though she was too tired even call only a nod of her head as garcia opened the door. " you left me" she tiredly pouted . " i was keeping your sister updated" he said. " yeah well those boys like there dad aren't waiting for no one" garcia called leaving the two . " ok y/n i need you to give another big push" the doctor smiled. " i can't really can't you just fish them out" she cried although her body ignored . " oh i see a head keeping going dad you wanna see" he asked. " he'll pass out" she strained keeping the push . " one more" the doctor yelled. " if he says that i'm going to need a new OH GOD" She screamed pushing with all her might then the relief of the pressure and the big cry she didn't know if it was her or the baby. " oh i think there was a mistake her because this is a little girl and beautiful one at that" the doctor smiled. She could barely enjoy it when she felt it again her body pushing and contracting . " ooh this one is in a hurry , come on mama" the doctor smiled as she screamed that relief when she she heard the baby crying . " you done great mama healthy baby girl and boy here" he smiled bright . " i'm proud of you , you did it" luke smiled kissing her head. " tie her up cause i am not doing that again" she sniffled as they laughed. " hey i hear crying" they heard through the door . " BOY AND GIRL" luke yelled as he heard his teammates cheer . " a lot of friends out there" the nurse chuckled handing over the babies. " family" she corrected looking in awe at the two tiny humans and her husband . " can we do it again" he smiled leaning down . " no those only two kids ... ok maybe one more down the line" she smiled kissing him.