We see Megatron standing in front of Blitz holding Soundwaves minicon Ravage.
(Not my art)
Blitz: I just don't understand why I have to watch Soundwave's minicon.
Megatron: because Soundwave needs to relax due to the stress he's been having lately and he can't take Ravage with him due to how violent Ravage can get. And everyone else is very busy so you are the only one who can watch him.
Blitz: well I'm trying to take care of my one year old half goetia baby.
Megatron: just let your husband Stolas watch him.
Blitz: he's too busy with his goetia duties. I don't think I can take care of my son and your friends minicon.
Megatron: I am willing to pay you.
Blitz: I'll watch him.
(Later)
Felicity: Jack, where the hell are you going?
Jack: on college tour. Unlike you I actually think about what I'm going to do with my life instead of wasting my potential on FNAF animatronics.
Then he just left the room as Felicity immediately got pissed off.
Felicity: that Bitch!
Leela: hon, calm down.
Felicity: you know what!? I'm gonna create the worlds most successful robotics company just to piss him off!
Leela: well you do have a lot of experience since you recreate FNAF animatronics from scratch.
Felicity: thanks! No one ever points out that I know robotics.
She said as Ravage started running around the base with a leash on his neck with Blitz hanging on to it for dear life while his son Orion Pax is in a baby carrier.
Blitz: SHIT!!!
Then Ravage immediately stopped and started eating an energon cube with Smokescreen's name written on it.
Octavia: what are you doing?
Blitz: Soundwave is on vacation and your father and everybody else is busy so I have to watch his minicon Ravage.
He said as Ratchet walked in.
Ratchet: why couldn't Soundwave just take Ravage with him?
Blitz: because of something about Ravage killing everything. It was too boring too follow.
Loona: the only reason Soundwave trusted you to watch his pet is because he was desperate.
Blitz: well I'm getting paid so it really doesn't matter.
Leela: how about you take Ravage out for a walk?
Blitz: where the hell am I supposed to take him!? Saks fifth avenue!?
Ratchet: I'm surprised you know what that is.
Then as Felicity was still pissed off at what Jack said earlier she suddenly got a very delightfully devilish idea.
Felicity: hey, Blitz, Jack went on college tour earlier maybe you could take Ravage there and leave him with Jack.
Blitz: delightfully devilish and I like it.
Then Blitz used his new asmodian crystal (since Stolas had to use the grimoire for his duties) to open a portal and he and Ravage immediately went through it as the rest of the Autobots arrived.
Circuitjack: woah, that party was crazy!
Bumblebee: yeah, it was.
Arcee: hey, where's Jack?
Miko: he went on a college tour to see which college you would like.
Arcee: of course.
Smokescreen: what the fu... Who the hell are my energon!?
(With Stolas)
We see Stolas with his father Paimon and his sister Andromeda's (who died from the events of the last book) sister-in-law Catherine.
Catherine: Stolas, I saw that my brother Belvin and his wife Andromeda made you Leela's legal guardian. So how long do you intend on keeping her?
Paimon: and what did Andromeda put you in charge of?
Catherine: that is not why we are here.
Stolas: why do you care? Your daughter who has been dead for almost a year and you didn't come to a funeral say that if anything whatever happened to her that I would be taking care of her daughter. So Leela's in my custody.
Paimon: that's just cute. No where's that settlement money Andromeda left for her?
Stolas: of course you would ask for that. See, I'm not stupid, I knew that someone would be coming after that money. That money is in an account that only Leela will have access to.
Hearing that immediately pissed off Paimon.
Stolas: it's obvious that you would not expecting that.
Paimon: Andromeda was my daughter so I'm going to need some of that money.
Stolas: father, Andromeda hasn't liked you since Leela ran away because you try to marry her off to the Duke of Hell's son, which is why she didn't leave Leela with you and left her with me. Because she didn't trust you to do something right with that money.
Paimon: Stolas, due to Andromeda's first child also dying at the end of the war, Leela now has a lot of money that you better go get for me.
Stolas: or what!?
Paimon: DAMNIT, STOLAS!!! Don't make me do something that I am going to regret!
Stolas: calm down! Don't upset that STD.
Paimon: I need that money.
Stolas: you know I'm wondering if anyone else has asked you this, but what type of STD do you have?
Paimon: a son named Stolas!
Stolas: well you're going to have it for the rest of your life because there's no amount of chemo that can get rid of me.
Catherine: look, Stolas, I'll take Leela off your hands.
Stolas: Catherine, shut up. And what are you even doing here? What are you going to do with a teenager? I already have one so I know what I'm doing. Leela is fine and she's not going anywhere.
Catherine: let me have her.
Stolas: if it's for the money then you can leave. Bye.
(With Jack)
Jack was walking around in some fancy college and was slightly smiling until he saw Blitz in the corner and Blitz was holding a leash connected to Ravage. Then Jack started walking towards Blitz as Blitz was taking Orion out of the carrier and putting him on Ravage's back.
Jack: Blitz, what are you doing here!?
Blitz: kid, Soundwave is on vacation and I don't want to watch his cat so I'm leaving Ravage with you.
Jack: I'm on college tour. I can't watch him right now!
Blitz: I didn't finish college and I have a successful business and I killed Unicron last year. The only thing you'll get out of college is debt for the rest of your life.
Jack: can we talk about the some other time when no one is around?
Blitz: ha, no amount of privacy can help you now, bitch.
Then Orion Pax started chewing on the leash Ravage started walking away with Orion Pax on his back as Blitz and Jack started arguing.
(With Stolas)
Stolas was in the middle of a phone call.
Stolas: hey, Dr Maverick.
Dr Maverick: (through phone) hello Stolas, how are you today?
Stolas: I'm doing well. How about you?
Dr Maverick: doing perfectly fine.
Stolas: that's great. I won't hold you long. I was just reaching out about my father's test results that he received a month ago. He said that you diagnosed him with an STD. I just have some questions.
Dr Maverick: that's weird because I said he was perfectly healthy.
Stolas: I'm sorry?
Dr Maverick: he doesn't have any STDs.
Stolas: so he's healthy?
Dr Maverick: yes he is. Perfectly healthy.
Stolas: Oh... That's great news. He didn't share that with us. He didn't share it with me at least. And when did you tell my father that he was healthy?
Dr Maverick: just a month ago.
Stolas: a month ago.... That's great news. You go and enjoy your weekend. Goodbye.
Then Stolas hangs up the phone.
Stolas: of course my father was fucking lying.
Then suddenly out of nowhere Catherine barges into the castle and immediately tried to attack Stolas with a taser.
Catherine: give me Leela, bitch!
Stolas: CATHERINE, WHAT THE FUCK!?!
Catherine: (uses taser) GIVE HER HEEEEEEEEEEEEEERE!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stolas: you're fucking crazy. Get the fuck out before I grab something lethal!
Catherine: go get Leela, Stolas. Go get motherfucking Leela.
Stolas: oh you're really stupid coming to my home with a taser. Try to fucking use it!
Catherine: (uses taser three times) I will.
Stolas: then put it on me. Pick a spot and put it on me! Do it!
Catherine: (uses taser multiple times) I'm not scared of you!
Stolas: come tase me then!
Catherine: ... what the hell are you going to do, huh?
Stolas: use my husband's gun to kill you.
Catherine: go get Leela, Stolas?
Stolas: Catherine, is it coke or crack?
Catherine: neither. It's patron. Now go get LEELA!!!
Stolas: you're going to have to make me!
Catherine: (uses taser multiple times) STOLAS, I WILL TASE YOU!!!
Stolas: you keep saying that but you haven't tased anybody.
Catherine tried to tase Stolas but Stolas immediately started fighting with her and then took the taser.
Stolas: give me that motherfucking taser, bitch! You don't even know what to fucking do with it!
Then Stolas started using the taser on Catherine.
Catherine: oh! Tase me harder! TASE ME HARDER!!!
(With Blitz and Jack)
Blitz: Jack, the bottom of the line is that sometimes college does not matter in your life. It just gets you in debt for the rest of your life.
Jack: whatever! I'll deal with it. But I'm not watching Ravage.
Blitz: fine, I'll leave!
Blitz then turned around to see that his son and Ravage were gone.
Blitz: oh SHIT!!!
Jack: how did you lose him!?
Blitz: because of you, dumb bitch! You're going to help me find 'em!
Jack: I am not doing that.
Blitz: your mother tried to give my son up for adoption in another state.
Jack: are you still going to bring that up? It's been a year, Blitz!
Blitz: IT FEELS LIKE YESTERDAY TO ME!!!
Jack: okay, I'll help!
Blitz: okay. You go left I go right. (Turns around) ORION!!!
Then Blitz immediately left to find his son. Jack started freaking out and ran to two girls to ask questions.
Jack: uhh, hey, have either you seen a very large cat and a bird that has horns and a lizard tail?
Girl 1: no but I do know a number for a therapist, loser.
Girl 2: get lost you crazy weirdo.
Then the two girls walked away.
Jack: can this literally get any worse?
(With Orion Pax)
We see Blitz and Stolas's son Orion Pax riding Ravage throughout the college. Ravage was running into classrooms and killing all the students and teachers and Orion Pax was just giggling.
(With Blitz)
Blitz: Orion, where are you baby? Papa wants to get home and get dru-- go to sleep.
We then see Blitz freaking out in front of a random fountain in the middle of the college.
Blitz: has anyone seen my 1 year old son!?
We then see Blitz at some random chemistry class.
Blitz: oh Satan.
We then see Blitz stick his head in a garbage can.
Blitz: Orion Pax!
We then see Blitz rocking himself back and forth in the corner of some random room.
Blitz: that father's adrenaline is kicking in!
We then see Blitz on top of the roof of the college.
Blitz: ORION!!!
We then see Blitz just writing a bunch of random things on a chalkboard in front of a class.
Blitz: I CAN SEE EVERY EQUATION!!!
Then Blitz ran to a man with long hair and a beard.
Blitz: excuse me ma'am have you seen my son!? He's a year old it's kind of purple but he gets that from his father.
We then see Blitz running to a trash can.
Blitz: Orion, are you in there!?
Blitz then kicks the trash can.
Blitz: ORION!!!
Blitz then started rummaging through the trash until he found coffee.
Blitz: my luck's beginning to turn.
Blitz started drinking the coffee and immediately spat it out and ran away.
Blitz: WHO THE FUCK PUTS SOI IN THEIR COFFEE!?!
Then we see Blitz back at the fountain again.
Blitz: ORION!!!
Then Blitz is running around a room filled with bloody corpses.
Blitz: WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU!?!
Blitz is then in another room filled with bloody corpses.
Blitz: I'll let you do drugs.
Blitz is at the fountain again.
Blitz: ORION!!!
Which is then at another corner in another random room.
Blitz: I'm gonna have a stroke!
Blitz is then on top of the roof of the college again.
Blitz: WHERE'S THE FUCK ISV HE!?!
(With Jack)
We see Jack talking to a random teacher.
Jack: my friend lost his cat and his 1-year-old son.
Teacher: why aren't you talking to the cops about this?
Jack: well...
Then Blitz suddenly barged into the room.
Blitz: ASSHOLE, TELL ME WHERE MY SON IS OR I'LL SUCK YOUR GODDAMN DICK!!!
Teacher: this is your friend?
Jack: yes.
Teacher: wh-- sir, have you tried retracing your steps?
Blitz: RETRACE THIS!!!
Then Blitz started destroying the entire room. We then see Blitz barge into the principal's office as the principal was in a meeting with some kids parents.
Principal: Jesus! (In Spanish) Puberty hasn't been kind to Dora the explorer!
Blitz: BITCH!!!
Then Blitz started violently attacking the principal and accidentally knocked down a random candle. Jack started pulling blitz out of the office and into another room.
Jack: are you insane!?
Blitz: YOU TRY LOSING A CHILD, BITCH!!!
Then they both saw a bunch of kids screaming and running away until they saw Ravage murdering a kid with Orion Pax giggling happily.
Blitz: HE'S ALIVE!!!
Jack: and Ravage is murdering people.
Then a bunch of blood covered Blitz and Jack until suddenly a fire broke out.
Jack: what the!?
Blitz: OH SHIT!!!
Then Blitz immediately ran to Orion Pax and got him off of Ravage and then started running outside the college until the fire went to the chemistry room and then an explosion happened. Ravage walked out of the rubble as Blitz used his asmodian crystal to get back to the IMP office and immediately left as Jack got out of the rubble.
Jack: oh shit!
Principal: (in English off screen) YOU!!!
Jack turned around to see the principal of the college.
Principal: I knew it was you! You destroyed my college!
Jack: it wasn't me!
Principal: it clearly was you. I'll make sure no college will accept you!
Jack: ...
(The next day)
Stolas: so how was it yesterday?
Jack: my entire future got ruined in less than 10 minutes.
Blitz: Orion got a tour of a fancy college.
Stolas: well that's good.
Orion Pax: da.
Blitz: (gasp)
Stolas: what was that, Orion? Are you gonna say Dada? Say Dada.
Orion Pax: death!
Blitz: uhh dada.
Orion Pax: domination!
Stolas: umm dada?
Orion Pax: destruction domination.
Ratchet: ahem. Nice.