POV Erin
By the time I see Zach, he's at the bar swallowing down a shot.
Without approaching, I attempt to calm my racing pulse. The nerve of styles. Who does he think he is. And what's more, how are we meant to sit together without causing a commotion. I mean if him and Zach's interaction was anything to go by, I could hardly see it ending in anything other than a fight.
By the time my date notices me, he walks in my direction. I step out to greet him with a soft smile, not really sure of what I'm to expect since his expression is cool and unreadable.
"Told you I wouldn't be long," I say.
His eyes roll slightly. "What'd he want anyway?"
My eyes scan the room quickly as I say, "he wanted to say hi. I'm sure it was to put his mind at ease. I guess he wanted to know where we stood.
"You know what, let's not waste any more time talking about your ex."
"He wasn't really my ex," I tell him.
Sometime later, after Zach and I are shown to our table, I'm surprised to see two empty chairs. I wasn't sure if Zach had something to do with it or whether Styles had decided to leave. either way, I found myself very unsure of how I felt about it.
I wrap my scarf around my neck and toss my backpack over my shoulder as I exit my last class for the day. The smell of wet grass is strong as I leg it along the undercover walkway, surrounded by other students. We all hurry along the path with purpose—a deadline to meet, a shift to start or a professor to see.
Normally, I'd cut across the lawn and head toward my parked car. But since a down pour is upon us, water overflowing and splattering from the gutters, I stick to the cement pathway that runs alongside the building.
The sight of two females dashing across the lawn with their backpacks over the heads, laughing, has me shivering and pulling my coat around myself. Rather them than me. They'll be soaked within seconds. As it is, I can hear the splash and slosh of their shoes hitting the mushy ground as they run towards the library.
Besides all that, it's too cold to get wet. Knowing my luck, I'd end up with the flu and unable to work. And I need to work.
By the time I arrive at my block of flats, I'm soaked and shivering as I run up the 3 flights of stairs. It's hard to believe it's been 11 months since Simone, and I found this place. As tired as the old flat is, we'd been excited when we signed our lease. It's far from a posh pad, let me tell you, but it has everything we need and is within walking distance to a variety of shops.
It's no longer just the two of us anymore; not since Simone and Mia started dating. They're a cute couple. And Mia is also Zach's sister; that's how I met him. He'd just arrived back in Sydney after six months in Amsterdam making music.
While I soak in the tub, I sip on a cup of hot tea, pulling up pictures online from that music event in Sydney I attended. I'm still finding it hard to believe I was there.
I swipe through the pics of Nichole and Keith, who I never saw.
Then a picture of Margot Robbie and her husband fill the screen. Next is Tame Impala. My heart jumps as Ashley and his blonde date appear. You see little of them (only their profiles) as they ignore the photographers.
The caption beneath the picture reads: heir to the giant SIP mining corporation Ashley Styles and Dutch model Coca arrive late.
With a huff, I keep swiping until my eyes pop when a picture of Zach and I appear on screen. I sit bolt upright, wearing my tea and creating a water wave that laps the tub and splashes over the tiled floor.
Oh Shit!
No, no, no!
What the hell!
I ignore the tea burn down my chest and focus on the picture. I look horrible! A mess. An ugly-ugly mess! Who would post such a disgusting picture?
An arsehole, that's who!
God, I hope no one I know sees this.
The caption beneath the pic reads–Zach Wayne's and his unknown date.
Well, thank God they didn't put my name to that face. My expression is somewhere between terrified and wide eyed.
I settle back in the water. My breast floating and my chest pink and blotchy from the scalding tea.
I try to unwind, even though my brain is a thoroughfare of zooming thoughts right now.
With my head resting on the tub, I swipe backwards until the picture of Ashley and his model reappears. My eyes narrow on the model. His model. Coco. Ashley and Coca. The rich man and the model. The news reporter and the model.
They make sense.
We never made sense. Ashely and Erin. The educated man and the student. The rich man and the waitress. The strip club owner and his employee. The manipulator and the idiot. See, we make no sense.
When the screen goes dark, I exit the page.
That afternoon, I'm legging it from my car to the Italian restaurant I've been working at for the last six months near the harbor. As I walk, my phone pings with a message.
Simone: What the hell, babes! Why didn't you tell me Ashley showed up last night? What happened? Did you talk!!! I'm yanking my hair out here. WHAT HAPPENED??????
I haven't seen Simone or Mia since they left Friday afternoon to go hiking in the blue mountains. So I haven't been able to update her about that night.
Me: Yeah, we spoke. I haven't seen you to tell you. About to start work. Talk later.
Simone: Oh man, I'm excited for it!!! Can't wait to hear all the goss!!
Bloody Ashley. How is it he's still affecting my life? It's difficult getting over a breakup. And it's even worse when you find out the man you love deliberately set out to hurt you just so he could get back at my brother because they had a disagreement.
I shake my head as if it will magically shake the thought away. But as I've discovered over the last year, horrible memories are the hardest to forget. They stick to the back of your thoughts, waiting for those happy moments to appear, and then BOOM—they resurface to mess you up again.
It's self-torture--because the more I try to forget, the more epic the thoughts become—until I don't know what's worse—what happened to me or what I put myself through every time I relive it. Either way, nothing good ever comes from reliving it in my mind.
Forget it. For the sake of my sanity, forget it.
The floor to ceiling windows takes my eye as I step inside the restaurant. But it's the orange glow of the sun setting behind the metal hanger that is Sydney Harbour Bridge that has my breath catching. No matter how many times I see the sun set over the harbor, it looks spectacular, especially against the dark waves of the ocean bopping up and down.
After a friendly hello to Gino, he greets me with a one fingered salute as he tops up the liquor behind the bar. As I stride across the burgundy-colored carpet, Tina throws a crisp white tablecloth over one of several tables that need setting. Bev follows behind her, dressing the tables with white plates and cutlery.
Within seconds, the garlic aroma has my tummy grumbling.
I enter the tiny staff room and dump my bag on the table, ready to sign in.
"Lovin the slippers, Erin."
I spin around to see Jessie's matt red lips and blond bun sitting on the top of her head. She dumps her bag beside mine, and I notice the second button on her black shirt is open and showing off the fleshy white mounds of her breasts. "Your buttons undone."
She raises a brow. "I know. I'm hoping some hot, rich guy might notice. Anyway, what's up with those?" She points at my slippers. "So broke you couldn't afford shoes, or so comfortable you didn't think to take them off?"
One glimpse at my fluffy bear slippers and I sigh in frustration. I wasn't even aware I still had them on. This is what Ashely's reappearance has done to me.
"My head's just... I don't know... I'm all over the place."
Jessie laughs as she grabs the pen and jots her arrival time into the book. "You must have been pretty preoccupied to have forgotten your shoes?"
She's not wrong, but I shrug as if it's nothing. "Guy trouble."
She tosses the pen on the book and looks at me with a grin. "Zach did something, didn't he? I knew he was a dick."
I take in her gloating smirk. "What makes you say that?"
"Why? Cause your hot DJ with the top ten is getting his dick lubricated every time he's outperforming."
A loud whistle has my head snapping around to see Bev pulling two fingers from her mouth.
"So classy, Jess. Now how about you save the penis, lubricating talk for someone who wants to hear it. Now get to work."
I mouth thank you to Bev as Jess walks away and get to work.
By 7 pm, I've collected an armful of dirty plates and walking towards the kitchen.
My eyes roll at the sight of Jessie smiling up big and throwing her hips as she shows two well-dressed men to a window table.
About two seconds later, I realize one of the men is Ashley. What's he doing here? I swallow the huge lollipop sized lump in my throat.
After moving through the tables and pretending I couldn't care less, I push through the kitchen door with my hip and a tray of dishes in hand. No sooner am I placing the dishes on the sink, I grab hold of the bench to steady myself.
I'm not gullible enough to believe his appearance here is a coincidence.
Ignore him.
Is that possible, though?
Maybe I should go home?
No. What good will that do? If he's here for me, then leaving won't deter him. He's liable to come back or show up somewhere else—my flat. And that can't happen.
Within minutes, I'm run off my feet and taking orders and delivering meals. I've tried hard to ignore Ashley but find my eyes meeting his as I pass his table.
"Hello, Erin."
For the sake of my job, I stop at his table and attempt to give him the same respect and friendly approach I give to all customers. Well, as friendly as I can muster. This man hurt me. I could never pretend things are fine between us, nor pretend that what happened between us no longer matters, because it does.
"What can I get you? Wine? Water?" My eyes dart to the older man sitting opposite him at the table. His father. I saw him on the news once. Besides having the same blue eyes, they have the same square shaped face. "Or would you rather dessert?" I continue.
The older man shakes his head. "No thanks. I'm fine."
"Actually," Ashley says, "I'll have a glass of icy water if you don't mind."
"Of course."
"How are you, Erin?"
I relent and make eye contact with him again, my heart racing. "Fine, thank you? And you?"
Ashley smiles and this time it's a straight toothy white smile that reaches his eyes.
I've forgotten how amazing he looks when he smiles. The way his mouth lifts and the cute way one eye closes more than the other. He holds my gaze a moment longer than I like, which has me breaking eye contact, and saying, "I'll get that water?"
I walk away, silently cursing myself.
An hour later and Ashley and his father are leaving.
If he was waiting for an opportunity to talk, I made sure it didn't happen. And no amount of trying to catch my eye could entice me to his table for any other reason than to serve him and his father.
Two hours later, I'm leaving the restaurant unable to put up with Jessie another minute. We don't usually work the same shifts since I don't like her. So I leave as soon as I can to avoid her.
No sooner am I on the empty sidewalk, the thunderous roar and vibration of passing motor bikes has me breathing into my jacket to avoid the rotten stench of petrol fumes swirling through the air.
The night is dark, but the street is well-lit from shop lights and the bright glare of passing vehicles. I don't waste time making the short walk back to my car, though. My slippers slapping against the cement. Thank God Bev had an old pair of enclosed shoes in her office.
My eyes dart along the shop fronts, looking for any kind of trouble that could come my way. Whether you live in a busy city or a country town, people get attacked. That's why I am always on the lookout for weirdos and bag snatchers? Especially when I'm alone and vulnerable? Can't be too careful.
When a car door opens a few feet ahead of me, I freeze to the spot. Then I fist my car key in my hand, ready to ram it in a slot other than my door lock.
My heart does a flip.
This would be the right time to run back to the restaurant.
But as the tall figure steps from the car, my knees wobble. I press a shaky hand to my chest—both relieved and shocked to see Ashley step into the light. Relief quickly turns to annoyance, though.
"Oh, for gods sakes. You scared me! I thought you were about to attack me!" I frown and mumble under my breath as I sidestep him and keep walking.
"Erin, wait."
"Not interested! So leave me alone."
"Not until we talk?"
No good can come from us talking. "No."
"Please?"
"I said no!"
My pace quickens.
"I'll walk with you."
I spin around to face him. "You showing up here wasn't a coincidence, was it?"
He pushes his fingers through his short hair and stares at the passing cars. "No. How else are we meant to talk?"
I throw my hands out at my sides. "We're not, that's the point!"
"We need to talk. It's time."
"You're making me crazy!" I snap.
Then I walk away.
"Erin." He's beside me again. "I want a chance to put things right between us."
"You can do that by leaving me alone." I tell him.
I dart out in front of him to get to my blue 2003 Hyundai Excel.
As I rush to the driver's door, I stare across the rooftop and point my key at him. "Just because you decide you want something, doesn't mean it's about to happen!"
Then I unlock my car door and drop into my seat. The other door opens, and to my surprise, he sits in the passenger's seat.
"What are you doing?"
"I'm just after an opportunity to meet up and talk. Let me buy you lunch tomorrow?"
Silence fills the car.
Agree. It's the only way to get rid of him.
So I push the key into the ignition and listen to the engine turn over and chugs to life. "Ok. Fine. Meet me here tomorrow at 12.30. Now get out of my car."