Angel finishes off her unknown clear liquid before she slides off the pool chair and straightens out her clothing. Her white blouse is crinkled from slouching on the chair, but she doesn't seem to mind it.
"I'm going to get another drink," she announces. "Be back soon."
"Sure." I nod my head.
As Angela walks towards her house, I notice the slight sway to her step. I'm not sure what she's drinking or mixing the alcoholic substance with, but I wouldn't put it past her to drink it straight. With her sour attitude towards Tori, I don't think she'd need a chaser to swallow the oblivion alcohol brings.
I lean back and watch the rest of them mingling. Crossing my arms over my chest, I think about my options. I could sit here and wait for Angela to return, or walk over and put on a brave face to socialise with them.
With the churning state of my stomach and the lack of sleep received within this last week, both of those ideas sound horrendous. The idea of returning to bed feels oddly pleasant, pleasant would be downgrading it. If heaven was a place on earth, I'm sure it would be my bed. The idea of sleeping in one is something you seriously can't go wrong with.
With a final decision in mind, I force myself off the chair and head towards the group. I stand by Blake near the barbeque which immediately ends with him passing London to me. With a free set of hands, Blake quickly begins rearranging the food piled on the side of the barbeque.
"Just stand right there, baby," he instructs, a bright smile on his face.
Frowning, I nod my head and readjust London in my arms. I press her back against my chest and wrap my arm around her middle so that she can still see. This seems to make her happy because she giggles and kicks her legs with anticipation.
"We cook the onions first because they are annoying and it's easy to get them out of the way," Blake explains to London. He grabs the plastic container and tips the shredded onions onto the heated plate. Using the tongs, he spreads them out and they quickly begin to sizzle away.
"You're going to be a professional onion cooker, I can just tell!" I tease. Blake pouts, but he continues on with his lesson plan.
"Now, you can't over cook them. Except for granddad, he likes them close to charcoal."
As the onions sizzle away, the smell of those and the gas makes my stomach churn even more. Wrinkling my nose, I take a deep breath and avoid thinking of my stomach and how a trip to the bathroom would relieve it.
Just when I think I'm starting to feel better, Blake questions me about it and I'm suddenly hit with a huge sensation of sickness once again.
"Are you okay, Ava?" his green eyes seeping with concern.
"I'm fine." I nod my head, but really, I'm not.
Blake takes London from my arms and passes her to a chatty Tori. He takes a hesitant step forwards as he wraps his arm around my waist.
"You don't look okay, baby girl," he mutters into my hair.
"I promise, everything is okay."
"Go to bed and get some rest. Once I'm finished cooking, I'll check on you."
"Really, I'm fine." But my voice is shaky and there's sweat dribbling down my back.
Blake grabs my shoulders and forces me to look him in the eye. Staring up, I bite my lip and try to hold myself together. I need to be the strong one that keeps us moving forward, can't be the weak link in the chain.
"It's okay to be tired, to be upset and to want to get away." He half smiles. "Take a nap, everyone will understand."
"Fine, because you asked."
"Good." His green eyes light up with relief. "I'll be in soon." Blake presses his lips against mine, then pulls me in for a tight hug. Pressing my face into his neck, I enjoy the feeling of being wrapped up in his arms once more. I miss this feeling.
"I'll see you soon," I mumble against his shirt.
"See you soon, baby." I step away and leave Blake to man the barbeque. Without causing too much of a scene in front of Jude or Tori, I slip past and head inside. Without looking back, I run upstairs and flick my shoes off. They hit the ground with a thud as I do on the bed.
Crawling under the blanket, I wrap it around me and spread out in the spacious bed. It's nice to have this all to myself. Blake steals the blanket and lays in the middle of the bed most of the night, which doesn't leave me much space to sleep.
Just as I close my eyes, I notice the sound of someone walking up the stairs. Sitting up, I watch Tori appear through the doorway. She smiles, and uses London's arm to wave at me. She wanders around the side of the bed and takes a seat. While she looks completely relaxed, I suddenly feel really awkward.
At some point they would have been in this bed together. Now I'm her ex's girlfriend in bed trying to sleep in a space she once lived in. Why is she acting so casual about it? Perhaps that crazy side of Tori has always been a front put up to keep people out, it makes sense, and people do it all the time.
"Just checking to see if you're okay," she explains.
"A combination of being exhausted and feeling sick. I'm sure some sleep will fix it," I say. "Doesn't help I hate the smell of onion, made me so sick." I frown, shaking my head at the thought of the smell.
"Totally understand, Ava. When I was pregnant with this one, I couldn't stand the smell of so many foods, wouldn't surprise me if she turns out fussy," response Tori as she pokes on London's chest.
My hand itches, desperately wanting to clutch my stomach. Now that Tori's gone and put that thought in my head, it makes me worried. I can't be pregnant, certainly not, I'd know right? How could you not know if you're pregnant, your body changes, right?
Thoughts dance through my head with speed, turning and twisting their way through every second slipping through my fingers. We'd been so safe, it would be impossible but not uncommon.
Before I know it, Tori's wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me against her chest. I'm looking down at London and watching the tears streaming down my face and splattering onto her jump suit. This can't be, it just can't.
"Don't worry about it, it's probably a cold going around." She lightly chuckles, trying to lift the atmosphere of the room, but it doesn't work.
"What if it's not a cold?" I sniffle.
"What if it is?" She rubs my back soothingly. "If you need help Ava, cold or pregnant, I will be here for you. I know what it's like to go through it and nobody should do it alone."
"Alone?" The thought of being alone makes me shiver. Blake and I are already struggling with one baby, let alone having another young one in the house. We couldn't handle that strain on our relationship. I don't think I'd be able to find someone so sweet and compassionate as Blake, even if he's got a few minor faults, we all have those.
"You won't be, so forget that word," she snaps, but in a hard, yet supportive tone.
"Thank you." Using the blanket, I dry my tears and half-smile. "I'm sure you're right." In the pit of my stomach, I'm hoping she's right.