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kihyun put all the pill's containers in a bag and took them out to the trash. when he returned, he realized yuna was still shaken. he didn't know how to make her feel better and it was frustrating.
"how is that going?" he tried to make small conversation. she just shrugged as she kept putting the rest of the cds inside the box.
"so... what do you say if we talk about random things? so we don't focus too much in this place?" he asked, as an attempt for her to feel better as they cleaned his room.
yuna glanced at him with worried eyes but finally nodded. "alright... so i know practically nothing about you - he started, yuna turned to look at him - what's your favorite color?"
she tried to hold back a laugh as she shook her head. "what is that the first thing people always ask you when they're trying to get to know you better? is that even important?"
he lifted his hands in a defeated gesture. "it is for me... come on, fave color?"
yuna looked at him with sympathetic eyes and remembered how kibum had asked this same question to her in the past, but not exactly under the same circumstances.
"yellow." she said shrugging.
kihyun made a disgusted face, only to receive a smack in the head. "i am kidding... it's a pretty color." he said nodding, picking up some trash and torned paper that was on the floor.
"but what shade? or tone?"
yuna thought about it as she realized she really didn't know the answer. "i guess... all of them?"
"but there has to be a favorite?" he eagerly asked her.
"alright... mustard." she said nodding as if she was trying to convince herself as well, even though it was a beautiful shade.
"alright... honestly, i thought you were more a purple or lilac girl but that's fine." he said shrugging.
yuna smiled and put her hands on her waist. "what's yours then?"
his eyes widened as he turned to look at her. "excuse me, are you asking me for my favorite color? buy me a drink first." he joked. she laughed and pushed him softly.
"i thought knowing someone else's favorite color was stupid-
"yah!" she scolded him but he only laughed. "black." he simply said with a smirk, returning to his job.
yuna nodded as she thought the color really suited him. "so together we're a bee." he finally added, making her roll her eyes.
they laughed but returned to their respective activities. yuna finished with the cds and started with old movies. kihyun instead, started with old objects that were on the vanity's drawers. he noticed there were even things from his parents there.
the silence was painful as both of their heads were filled with unwanted thoughts.
"how did you two meet?" he finally asked, shoulders down, his voice almost a whisper.
he had always been curious about it but since he didn't talk with kibum ever again, he couldn't know.
yuna turned to look at him with confused eyes, thinking about how answering that question would help her not to think about him?
"uh-- well...- she ran a hand through her hair - it was at the faculty?" she said nodding. kihyun didn't look at her, he instead sat on the bed, giving his back to her.
"i was in the first year, he was already in the second... we had this same class together and one day i arrived late so i missed the deadline the professor gave to hand our paper. i didn't know when we were supposed to do it... so i was walking around, asking people and nobody wanted to tell me." she sighed as she stared at one of the old movies between her hands. it was one of those black and white hollywood classics.
"he came out of nowhere and told me it was for next wednesday." she nodded, a sweet smile forming on her lips. "i thanked him and he told me the information wasn't for free... that i had to give something to him in exchange of that info."
she chuckled. "i got nervous because i only had ₩5000 with me and that wouldn't be enough... it wouldn't have been for me." she shrugged.
"but then he just asked me for my number - she smiled, looking at kihyun's back - only that." she said taking the box to the door.
"and i gave it to him - she sighed - as easy as that." she finally said walking towards the bed and sitting next to him.
"he started texting me and then calling me... we became close and then... it just happened." she said looking down to her feet.
"i guess... it was meant to be." she shrugged, turning to look at him. kihyun had his eyes stuck in some point on the floor and she noticed his lips were trembling.
"kihyun-ssi... gwenchana?" she asked looking for his eyes. she noticed how a single tear slid down his cheek before he quickly turned and looked away from her, not even giving it chance to run down, he quickly wipped the tear away.
"ah yes... i was- j-just curious, that's all." he said shrugging, sealing the box and taking it with the other two, towards the shed.
yuna's eyes followed him as he soon disappeared through the door. she sighed as she walked towards the wardrobe and opened it.
the view was definitely heartbreaking, just as the memory she just confessed to kihyun. remembering how she met him and now looking at his clothes and realizing for the 234567th time he was truly gone, always hit her.
but she felt stronger everyday, even if it hurt, she wouldn't feel like dying anymore. she wouldn't feel like she had been torn into pieces. she only felt a calmed sadness invading her body but leaving soon after she saw kihyun's face on the door.
"i brought these for the clothes." he said leaving two big plastic boxes next to yuna. she nodded in gratefulness as she grabbed the first hanged sweater.
it was a simple white long sleeved sweater. she fought the desire to smell it and suceeded since she quickly folded it and put it on the box.
she did the same with the rest of the sweater and shirts. kihyun was close to her, taking all the pair of shoes to other boxes as well.
"so how did you two get engaged?" he suddenly asked. yuna glanced at him confused, not understanding why he'd ask such thing if apparently just the single story of them meeting had affected him.
"uh... are you sure-
"yes of course - he said glancing at her, swallowing hard - i want to know how it was." he shrugged.
"alright... well, it was the same day of our graduation." she said smiling as she grabbed a dark wine buttoned shirt that smelled like him, miles away.
swallowing hard and trying her best to keep it up together. "after we got our degree... we went to celebrate with our fellow graduates but then he said we had a getaway weekend trip, so we went to the beach and - she chuckled - it was quite funny but when we arrived the beach we still had our gowns and caps and people looked at us funny but i guess we didn't care... we had just finished a long career and we were... contented." she said nodding softly.
the light blue woodie that she remembered gifted him two years ago was right there before her eyes. she felt a knot in her stomach as she tried to focus back into the conversation.
"so he started talking about crazy this... nothing and everything until he pulled out the ring and he asked it... right there in the sand. it was crazy, but so meaningful for me." she said folding the hoodie and leaving it inside the box with the rest.
kihyun remained silent as he piled the lotions and skin care products in another box. "i guess you two were pretty in love." he finally said.
yuna nodded hesitantely. thinking about all the lies he had told her was surely hurting her inside, but there was no denial, they spent nice moments together. moments that made her the happiest woman on earth.
"can i ask you something?" she suddenly stopped and turned to look at him.
kihyun anticipating the answer, cursed himself mentally as he shrugged, acting as if it was cool. "sure."
"why... did you two stop talking?" she asked narrowing her eyes. it was an unanswered question she had since the first day he arrived.
his green eyes darkened as he swallowed hard. running a hand through his black hair he finally sighed. "ah... we had a complicated relationship... mianhae." he said turning around but yuna called his name.
"why can't you tell me?" she asked seriously.
it was obvious he didn't want to say the reason. "listen... i don't want to spoil the imagine you have of him-
"i don't care anymore. he's gone, you said it." she coldly admitted. not because she felt exactly that way, but because her curiosity was bigger than her sentimentalism.
kihyun noticed how she used his own words against him and couldn't help but chuckle. "fine... we have different personalities and insights of life. he was always better than me at everything and expected too much from me." he said shrugging.
yuna frowned. "what do you mean?"
"all of our life we competed with each other, he enjoyed it and i didn't. i got tired and stopped doing it. i dropped school and just went wherever i wanted to go, not minding anything else."
she was confused, not sure if she was following him. she narrowed her eyes. "he was ashamed of me, for not even finishing the first semesters of the career... he was ashamed i got more tattoos while being sober, piercings, a careless lifestyle. something he didn't approve." he looked away.
"he- he wouldn't." she said shaking her head.
kihyun almost rolled his eyes. "please... yuna-ssi... you didn't really know him."
"are you saying he pushed you away because you were different than him?"
he stared at her with sympathetic eyes and sighed. "yeah, it's a nice way of saying it."
but yuna couldn't believe her own ears. kibum didn't seem like that type of person. she couldn't believe he'd push away his own brother for such reasons.
she blinked twice and held onto his sleeve. "are you sure?" her eyes begged for a negative answer. she didn't want to accept it.
kihyun didn't say anything but the silence spoke more than words did and it hurt her. she couldn't find reasonable for someone to push away his brother like that just because he had different ideals.
he sighed and touched her hand, caressing her fingers softly. "gwenchana... i am not mad at him for that. it's in the past now." he added.
yuna looked at him with eyes filled with tears yet to fall. "i am sorry... if i had known... i would have-
kihyun shook his head. "aniyo. there's nothing you could have done." he said with a reassuring tone.
she looked down ashamed as her chest began to hurt. right in her mind, the beautiful and almost perfect idea of kibum was starting to fall down to pieces as she learned the truth from his brother. and even though it was something she never expected to happen, a small part of her wasn't really surprised.
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a/n: hey guys! i have some news for you, in case you like harry potter, i invite you to read my new book, it's called "idols go to hogwarts" and it's basically me, sorting the idols into the houses i believe they belong (?) so... if you're curious about it, you can check it out! (this is not the fanfic i said i'd publish these days, this is only for fun)
thank you so much for the support ♡♡♡
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