"Hey, they're here!"
Jungkook watched from afar where a big black truck drove its way onto the sand, making its way toward Jungkook and Seokjin. Jungkook couldn't help but smile as the truck drove closer and finally stopped a few feet away from the two bodies.
His smile only grew larger when he saw each of his friends step out one by one, running over to greet him. "Jungkook!" Jimin yelled while running over to him and having the rest of his friends follow behind him. Jimin threw his arm around the younger boy as the rest of the boys gathered around them, huge smiles and light emphasized on their faces.
"It's about time you called us!" Taehyung said to him while patting his shoulder. "We were relieved when Seokjin told us you went to the arcade."
"We were more than relieved," Hoseok added. "We were happy just to hear you wanted to get out of the house!" All of the boys laughed together and did their best to show their affection towards Jungkook. The six boys were overjoyed to hear that their youngest was finally starting to want to go out more and wanted to be around them again. They felt relief that Jungkook wasn't pushing them away anymore.
Jungkook stared at each of the boys that stared right back at him, gazing at him with soft and gentle eyes that showed love and acceptance. He didn't realize it as first but, the boys who were like brothers to him, they each taught him something new.
Jungkook stared at Jimin who chuckled at him and ruffled his hair, just like the night where Jungkook had cried in front of him. Jimin had taught him that it was okay to cry and be vulnerable because in order to feel genuine relief and happiness, you need to express your pain.
~~~
"I really mean it when I say I'm here for you, Jungkook. We've known each other long enough for me to say that I care a lot about you," Jimin said. "All I ask is for you not to push me away."
That made Jungkook turn over to his side, once again facing away from Jimin. He suddenly began to tremble and shake while shifting into a fetus-like position, squeezing his eyes closed harder.
He felt the bed shift on the other side and heard footsteps walking toward his side around the bed. "It's okay," Jimin whispered. He caressed Jungkook's hair lovingly and softly as he crouched down on the ground to meet his level on the bed.
Jungkook began to whimper and sniffle, hiding his face in his hands. He didn't want Jimin to witness him like this, although he already knew it was too late.
Jimin's eyes softened to his crying friend. He didn't judge him when he covered his face since he knew that Jungkook wasn't very expressive with his emotions. He continued to caress the younger ones head and ran his fingers through his hair to comfort him.
Jungkook felt Jimin's hand caressing his head which made him cry harder. He bit his lip to control his sobs but his body continued to shake and tremble under Jimin's touch.
~
Jungkook had always thought of concealing his pain to himself because he thought no one cared, when really there were people who cared more than he had thought. He then stared at Hoseok who grinned widely, his lips curving into a heart-shaped smile while he leaned in to pinch Jungkook's cheek.
~~~
Jungkook squinted his eyes as he stared down to the phone screen, examining the meme that was shown. He tilted his head, a bit confused at what it meant or what it was trying to imply.
"I don't get it..." Jungkook mumbled.
"What?!" Hoseok gasped. "You're younger than me and yet you can't understand your own culture?!" Hoseok sighed while shaking his head side to side, searching through his phone another time. "Does that mean I fit in with you youngsters now?"
"I don't think that's how things work," Jungkook replied. "You're still old, Hoseok."
The older friend gasped dramatically, making Jungkook smirk slightly. "I'm so offended!" Hoseok said. "How rude of you to say that!"
"But it's written on your birth certificate..." Jungkook couldn't help but chuckle lowly at his friend's reaction. He enjoyed that much more than the meme he didn't understand. "That's legitimate proof!"
"Okay, okay, I get it!" Hoseok scoffed while grabbing some fries and stuffing them in his mouth angrily. "Why must you remind me that I'm old?"
"But you mentioned it first."
"Fight me, Jungkook." Hoseok huffed in irritation and wrapped his arm around Jungkook, holding him in a head lock. Jungkook was slightly taken aback from his sudden movement but he continued to struggle in his hold.
"Oh? What happened to muscle boy?" Hoseok teased while laughing. "Young boy doesn't seem so strong!"
"You're ridiculous," Jungkook chuckled and squirmed in Hoseok's hold before reaching out to poke his friend's side. Hoseok squirmed away from Jungkook and immediately let him out from his hold, caressing his sides.
"You little brat!" Hoseok leaped onto Jungkook and they began to have their own little play fight. Jungkook smiled widely while fighting off his older friend who didn't seem so old to him.
~
Hoseok had taught him to live in the moment. That night where Hoseok managed to make Jungkook laugh, Jungkook realized that he shouldn't focus on his worries, or rather he shouldn't focus at all. He should just live while he could in the moment.
Jungkook never could've never imagine just living in the moment with the anxious thoughts in his head but now, it showed him how far he had come from. He had stared at Taehyung next, who reached over to rap his fingers under Jungkook's chin and laughed.
~~~
Jungkook sighed. "I'm not that hungry-"
"I don't want to hear that bullshit," Taehyung said before standing up and walking over to Jungkook's side of the table. He grabbed another untouched burger and placed it in Jungkook's hand. "You better eat or else I'll shove it down your esophagus."
"You won't do that."
"Is that a challenge?" Taehyung smirked before wrapped his arm around Jungkook's neck to hold him in place. "What are you doing- hey!" Jungkook let out a small laugh when Taehyung tried shoving the burger in his mouth. "Let me go!"
"Not until you eat your food!" Taehyung laughed while holding onto Jungkook tighter. The younger boy struggled in his grasp and couldn't help but laugh at the absurdness of the situation. "You're crazy, Tae!"
"I'm not crazy by trying to make you eat your food!" Taehyung defended. "Now hurry up and eat!"
"Ah- help, I'm being raped!" Jungkook screamed which made Taehyung shove the burger in his mouth just at the right time. "You little asshole," Taehyung sighed while removing his hold from his younger friend. "If you wanted me to rape you, you could've just said so."
Jungkook laughed while holding onto his stomach, his laugh seeming much cheerful than it had ever been. "You're the crazy one."
~
Taehyung had taught him to be positive. He had taught Jungkook that he should look at the brighter and beautiful things than just being in your own comfort zone. Sometimes, his own comfort zone could've been worse for him and stepping out would make him happier. He would have never been able to move forward.
Jungkook never thought of stepping out from his home, the place where he was most comfortable but he managed to find happiness outside of it. He then looked towards Yoongi, who had a small smile across his lips but his eyes showed love and compassion.
~~~
"There's nothing wrong."
"Bullshit," Yoongi scoffed. "I may not know where you've been since the last time we've seen each other, but I know damn well that you're not okay."
Jungkook stayed silent since he knew that Yoongi could see right through him. He hated how Yoongi knew what exact words to say to him so that he wouldn't be able to put on the same act anymore. He knew what Yoongi was doing and what his intentions were- they weren't bad, but Jungkook just didn't want to talk to anyone. It had seemed simple for him to say he's alright and then the conversation ends.
That wasn't the case with Yoongi.
"I'm sure you heard from the others," Yoongi spoke again. "We've all been worried about you."
Jungkook continued to stay silent and sniffled, looking away from Yoongi. He refused to look at him only because he was embarrassed and had felt pathetic. All he wanted to do was cry until he fell asleep just so he didn't have to deal with the things he was feeling.
"Jungkook," Yoongi called. He reached over to touch Jungkook's shoulder, trying to show some guidance and affection. "You're not okay, Jungkook."
With those words, Jungkook had burst into tears. He brought his hands up to cover his face and let the tears he held in fall from his eyes. His head hurt and his lungs burnt from his intense breaths and he felt like he was drowning in water. Jungkook felt like he was suffocating himself.
~
Yoongi taught him what it was like to listen and support someone. While Jungkook cried that night to him, he had never realized how supportive just someone's presence had. Yoongi patiently listened and supported with his silence and just let Jungkook cry, which was what Jungkook felt like he needed the most.
He didn't notice that until that night, he didn't like be alone. He didn't find the idea of crying alone great at all. Jungkook did not enjoy being lonely and he wanted to be around the others much more. Then, he looked toward Namjoon. His eyes were squinted while his dimples dipped into his cheeks, making Jungkook smile at how precious he had looked.
~~~
Jungkook smiled and thought to himself on how he could best explain his feelings. He didn't want to vent or ramble senselessly about what's been going on so he asked a simple question, "Why can't I be perfect?"
Namjoon looked taken aback by his sudden question but quickly shook his head. "No one is perfect, Jungkook."
"You are," Jungkook quickly said. He always viewed Namjoon as the perfect human being with his amazing looks, intelligent brain, and gorgeous body proportion. Of course he saw his other friends as perfect too, but Namjoon was his fantasy- his vision of who he aspired to be.
Namjoon shook his head again. "No, Kook. I'm not perfect at all and I'm sure anyone in this world would be lying if they said they were perfect."
"In a way that's true but..." Jungkook looked down again. "I'm completely far from it. My self esteem has gone down so much and I can't stand to look at myself in the mirror without feeling miserable or pathetic. It's such a horrible feeling."
"I'm sure it is," Namjoon said. "But it takes time for one to love themselves. You may not notice, but you can find ways to love yourself through things or even people. Perfection is a misleading word that makes us misunderstand what it should actually mean."
Jungkook watched Namjoon talk, listening intently to what he was saying. "No matter what you think, you're perfect just the way you are Jungkook," Namjoon said. "You don't need to aim to be something else when we all love you for being you."
~
Namjoon had taught him self worth. With his advice and words that he'd given to him, Jungkook finally realized that he needed to give himself more credit. He was much more than what he thought he was and he was much more than what anyone else would say about him. And for certain, he knew he wasn't perfect, but he found many things to love about himself.
He loved his hair, he loved his body, and he loved his voice. He didn't need other people to tell him these things because he knew that he was perfect just the way he was. Lastly, Jungkook looked over to Seokjin. He laughed and made weird faces to make Jungkook smile.
~~~
Seokjin shrugged his shoulders as well before laughing and walking out of the arcade. Jungkook quickly followed behind him until he was side by side with him. He suddenly threw his arm around Seokjin's wide shoulders, almost barely able to reach the end of his shoulder blade.
Seokjin returned the gesture, throwing his arm around Jungkook's shoulder as they walked together. "Your shoulders are so tiny," he said to Jungkook.
"Your shoulders are too big," Jungkook replied. As they continued walking, Jungkook noticed a poll in front of them. He decided to only hold Seokjin tighter as the poll came in between them.
To his surprise, Seokjin didn't let go either.
The two struggled and laughed as one tried to pull the other to their side. "Go this way, dude!" Jungkook laughed.
"No, I will forever stand my guard!"
The two didn't care that the people passing by were staring at them weirdly because all they needed were each other. Jungkook didn't feel embarrassed at the fact that people gave him weird stares but he felt more alive that he didn't care about it anymore.
Jungkook managed to drag Seokjin to his side and let out a breathy laugh. "Haha, I win again!"
~
Seokjin had taught Jungkook about laughter and forgetting about the bad things. Jungkook had realized that he was capable of being happy and that it's okay to crack jokes here and there, especially with other people. He didn't have to worry about his problems when he had other happy things to make himself feel better if he tried.
During Jungkook's rough time, he had been consumed into a darkness of anxious thoughts where he never thought he could escape. However, as he looked at each of his friends faces, he realized that they had all given him reasons to love himself.
He smiled and finally felt his shoulders relax and his muscles release their tension. "God, I missed you guys." He sighed, trying his best to show his genuine feelings.
The six boys cooed and laughed at their young friend who they cherished more than anything. "We missed you more Kook!" Namjoon smiled while reaching to rub the back of Jungkook's neck.
"We're happy that you're back," Yoongi said with a smile as the other boys agreed along with him. Jungkook laughed and his face broke out into a huge goofy grin, throwing his arms around Jimin and Seokjin who were besides him. Jungkook didn't know what the future were to bring to him, but he knew that he would be able to face anything with his friends by his side.
The seven boys all together looked into the distance of the beach, watching the sun set from the sky and the ocean waves move forward and back. Jungkook couldn't help himself but stare back at his friends once again, smiling at how happy he was when he was was with them. He felt so euphoric and Jungkook knew that he reached true euphoria.
When I'm with you, I'm in Utopia.
The End