A/N Note This chapter is dedicated to ariarlyn918, an amazing 抖阴社区 author that really inspires me--you should absolutely check out her stories as they're very well written and more than a little steamy (in the best possible way!)! xoxo
When I got home, not surprisingly, I had an extremely difficult time focusing on my bar review course, which started two days after I returned. The only thing that would help clear my head was reminding myself that if I failed the bar exam all because of a stupid vacation romance, I was never going to forgive myself. I’d worked way too hard to throw away everything now.
But even when I was able to control my emotions well enough to study, the outside world wasn’t doing me any favors in not providing any additional distractions. Shortly after I got home, one of the tabloids ran a huge spread with exclusive pictures of Alex and I from our time on the island. There were pictures of us at dinner, at the drive in movie, just walking around, everything. There were even pictures of us saying goodbye at the airport and of me crying on the plane after we left. It was clear that it was another guest of the Mustique Company and based on the angle that the picture was taken in the plane, I was fairly certain who it was.
She did a big interview to go along with the pictures, talking about how we were always all over each other but that it was clear we really cared for each other, emphasizing how touching our goodbye scene was. Part of me at least appreciated that she at least got the story right and didn’t just call me some sort of a tramp, but mostly I just felt betrayed and hurt. I couldn’t imagine ever being so hard up for money or fame that I would sell out someone’s private moments like that. I was especially pissed that I had worked so hard not to break down completely in front of Alex that final day -- fat lot of good it did me as he was now able to see just how shattered I was by our separation.
My friends and classmates were understandably interested in what had happened so I gave them a Cliff’s Notes version to go along with the photos everyone seemed to have seen. The dean of the law school even stopped me in the hallway one day and asked how my vacation had been -- fishing, no doubt, for the story. As she was a really nice but completely intimidating person, I couldn’t imagine getting into it with her so I simply told her it was a nice time and all but ran into the library to escape.
After avoiding me for the first couple of days, Adam approached me one day after class and said that if I needed anyone to talk to, that he was there for me. He asked if Alex and I were still dating and visibly relaxed when I said that we weren’t, that we had just hung out together because we were vacationing at the same place at the same time. Clearly the thought of having to compete for my affections against a prince had been causing him a great deal of stress, because he was his normal warm and chatty self after that. Which I was glad of, barring any future declarations from him. I figured that if nothing else, I was safe from that until we were done with the bar in eight weeks.
Later that week, Maggie and I were studying that week’s review of Contracts at the law library. After I’d asked her to clarify a question I had regarding our outline, we both took a little break. “Has he called? Or emailed?” Maggie asked, although I’m sure she knew the answer from my behavior.
“No, Maggie, he hasn’t. And I didn’t -- and don’t -- expect him to. We didn’t even exchange contact information, although I’m sure he could find me fairly easily. I don’t need the distraction right now anyway.”
“Sure, because your life is so simple and easy right now,” she said sarcastically, gesturing at the tables around us in the library, where at least half a dozen people were staring at me. Maggie made a big show of waving at an underclassman that was peeking out at us from the stacks. The girl at least had the decency to look embarrassed before she all but ran away.
“I know but imagine how much more attention I’d be getting if people thought we were still dating, although I guess the general public might think that. Although probably not, the two things I read, besides that big thing from the lady that was there at the same time, were all about calling it a vacation fling for Alex, which I guess it was.”
“I still can’t believe neither of you ever brought it up -- you’re a far stronger woman than I am, Charlie.”
“No, just the opposite. If I weren’t such a wimp, I would have said something. Because, Jesus, of course I wanted to keep dating him, even knowing that long distance doesn’t work, even knowing that we live in two totally different worlds. But the truth of the matter is, I didn’t want to say it, to ask him to be with me and have him tell me no to my face. Because that… that would have really, really sucked. Way more than the just not knowing does, I’m sure.”
“That makes sense, I’m sorry I pushed you about it.”
“No, it’s a reasonable thing to say. And I never want you to feel like you have to hold back with me, no matter how bad it is”
“Well, in that case, I do have something else to talk to you about, and it isn’t good.”
“Shit, what is it?”
“I’m really worried about you and the Corporations sections of the exam. I think you're going to have a super hard time cramming all that into your brain in such a short amount of time -- I know I’ve told you this before but you really should have taken that class. That and wills and trusts.”
“God, you scared me, you brat! I know what you’re saying but I’ve heard from people that sometimes it’s easier to grasp the major concepts if you never actually took the class. So many people have told me that if you just take a good bar preparation course and really study the material, you wouldn’t even need to have gone to law school to pass the bar, it’s that good.” The real reason I hadn’t taken so many of the courses that were covered on the bar exam is that, until our third year, I wasn’t planning on taking the bar at all. I’d gone to law school knowing I never intended to actually practice law so I didn’t think I’d need to take it, but every single person I talked to said that I really should just take it, while I was in school mode and could actually focus enough to pass it, that I might want it at some point in my future. As everyone else I knew was sitting for the bar, I decided to listen to the voices of reason and take the damn thing.
Maggie sighed, shaking her head ruefully. “Well, that’s a relief since I’m pretty sure I slept through a few of these our second year.”
Wanting a break from the monotony of studying everyday at the law school, nevermind how sick I was getting of all my classmates curious looks and whispers, I decided to study the next day at a nearby Barnes and Noble. I figured I could get there early, grab a good table at the Starbucks inside, and get lost in my outlines. I had earplugs so I didn’t think anything would distract me and I could buy a coffee so I wouldn’t technically be a freeloader. Maybe if I made good progress, I’d even treat myself to a cookie, or even better, a new book for when this god-awful test was over. As big of a fan of my e-reader as I was, sometimes I still liked to just buy a good old fashioned book to get lost in.
I began to realize that escaping to B&N had been a bad idea after I’d been there for about an hour. It’s amazing how distracting just the feeling of several pairs of eyes focused on you for extended periods of time can be. I saw a college-aged girl take what she thought was a discreet picture of me with her cell phone, then noticed a crowd of people gathering outside the tiled area that designated the cafe area of the store, looking and pointing at me as they chatted. Determined to get some good studying in, I tried desperately to tune it all out.
The breaking point came when a gaggle of giggling teenage girls came up with a couple of different magazines that had pictures of me and Alex on the cover and asked for my autograph.I declined as politely as I could and packed my crap up to get out of there.
Before leaving the store, I put on my oversized sunglasses to somewhat hide my red face and the tears that were starting to well in my eyes. Thank God I did, because when I stepped out the door…
Flashes exploded in my face and microphones, video cameras and what seemed like a million people surrounded me.“Are you going to see the Prince again?” “Have you spoken to Prince Alexander recently?” “Are you two dating?” “Was he a good kisser?” “Is he going to come visit you?” “Are you going to move to England?”
I froze for a moment, then bolted to my car, which thankfully was parked near the exit to the parking lot. The reporters continued to yell questions at me, but stayed out of my way as I backed out and headed for home, as fast as the speed limit would allow. If this had happened at any other point in my life, I would have sped like a madwoman, however, it was always in the back of my mind that if you got any sort of ticket prior to getting your bar results, you had to write to the bar association and explain what had happened, which could jeopardize your ability to be admitted to the bar. Despite everything else that was going on, after everything I’d been through, I was determined to pass that stupid test.
Driving home, I tried to process what the hell was going on. It was mind boggling that anyone could possibly be that interested in me, regardless of who I was caught kissing. I tried to calm myself down with the thought that surely the press’ interest couldn’t last.