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When you say you're okay, you're saying it but... your eyes are saying something else. *TRIGGER WARNING* Finished July 18th, 2018

- letters to various people in my life and all the way to my deepest fears. - keep in mind that the names have been changed to protect privacy. - these are all that i think, and i'm sorry if there are any triggers for anyone. - #40 in Poetry - July 18, 2016 #101 in MyStory - July 18, 2019

I have looked at you in millions of ways and I have loved you in each How about you loving someone that triggered easily? Do you want to hold him? or do you want let him go? Their love never be easy

I'm not even safe in my own mind. #1 in 2amthoughts 8/13/2018

"I met the love of my life today. I met fans today. He smiled at me. They were sweet. We took a picture. I took a lot of pictures. I hugged him. So many of them were hugging me. I told him he was my world. Some of them said nice things. I wanted to be different. She was acting different. I introduced myself. She told me her name but I can't remember. He's my world. She's a fan. I love him. I love my fans." WARNING THIS MAY HAVE TRIGGERS, MAINLY ON THE SUBJECT OF ANOREXIA AND DEPRESSION AND SUICIDAL THOUGHTS PLEASE DO NOT READ IF THIS WILL BE A TRIGGER TO YOU OR IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO THE SUBJECTS.

Just gonna leave it at TRIGGER WARNING. SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, SUICIDE ATTEMPTS, CUTTING, DEPRESSION, AND HEARTBREAK ALL IN THIS SHIT. YOU ARE WELCOME.

Sorry? Sorry for what? You didn't do anything. This will never be your fault. I don't even know where to start. There is so much i want to say. But the more i look at you the more it hurts me. Your nervous and scared. You won't even keep eye contact for more than two seconds before you look away again. Your arms are folded into your stomach. Like your too scared to move or say anything else. I have destroyed you haven't I?

16+ can read this due to mature content, my first x reader so please go easy on me, I would also like to say if you have nothing nice to say then keep it to yourself.

I'm falling... Falling, helplessly and inevitably; completely at the mercy of the forces dragging me down. Having to trust in an entity's blind intentions and praying to God that they won't let me hit the ground. It's an incredible and horrifying feeling. A feeling that I live for. And I have realized that having something to live for makes you all the more scared of dying. (Constant uploads, and even more editing to older uploads)

please tell mom this is not her fault.