Will You Choose Me This Time? [Epistolary] ✓
  • Reads 11,553
  • Votes 54
  • Parts 68
  • Reads 11,553
  • Votes 54
  • Parts 68
Complete, First published Apr 24, 2021
I wasn't able to reply on his last messages. Matagal akong napatitig sa screen ng phone ko. Hindi ko inexpect na sasabihin niya yon sakin.

He was never rude to me. Even when he's pissed or mad about something, he never told me bad things. 

I guess what I did was too much for him. Kung sana may ibang paraan para ipaglaban sya, ginawa ko na. But I was left with no other choice but to break up with him. Or else everything will crumble up. All his effort will be wasted if I fought for our relationship. 

Kaya ayokong magsisi sa ginawa kong desisyon.
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She gave off the impression of being quiet and indifferent to everything around her. Because of that, I assumed she was just some odd woman. But as they say, 'Don't judge a book by its cover,' or risk regretting it. Nag-umpisa ang lahat sa l*ntik na sulat-isang cliché na love letter. Kilala ako bilang calculative, calm, at rational thinker. But everything falls apart when someone dares to cross my boundaries. Isa na rito ang privacy, ang personal space ko, ang sarili kong buhay, at ang mga bagay ko. Wala akong pakialam sa sulat, pero ang ikinagagalit ko ay kung saan ito inilagay ng walang hiya. It was right inside my damn bag. Ibig sabihin, may nangialam sa gamit ko para itanim ang walang kwentang sulat na 'yon. Sobrang nag-alab ang mga mata ko, and I wouldn't stop until I found that stupid *homo australopithecus.* Hanggang sa dinala ako sa kanya. To be honest, I never expected someone like her to do something so disgraceful. Wala sa mukha niya ang pagiging naive o crazy. Kung tutuusin, siya ang tipo na tititigan ka lang mula sa malayo at susuko agad kaysa maghabol sa isang tulad kong napakataas para abutin. Hindi ako nagmamayabang, at hindi ko gawain 'yan. Pero sa sitwasyon ko, hindi ito maiiwasang isipin. Ever since that disastrous event, I found myself saying things that struck deeper each time, eventually crossing every line. It was almost effortless, watching her shatter piece by piece. Every time na nakikita ko siya, talagang kumukulo ang dugo ko, lalo na kapag nagsasalita siya dahil magkaibang-magkaiba ang aming pananaw. Laging nauuwi sa bangayan ang pag-uusap naming dalawa. I really despise every fiber of her existence. It irritates me. Then, one day, may ginawa akong nag-trigger sa lahat. Lahat ay nagbago. I realized I had awakened the devil from a deep, unbreakable slumber. And for the first time, I almost felt... entertained. [𝓘𝓽𝓾𝓽𝓾𝓵𝓸𝔂...]
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"You lied to me then. How can I trust you now?" "You can't. You shouldn't. But you're going to, anyway," I said with confidence. His head tilted from amusement and wonder. "At paano mo naman nasabi 'yan, hmm?" "Because liar or not, you're too in love with me not to trust me again." Judging by his darkened expression, tama ako. He was still an unwilling puppet at my control. Ang hindi niya alam, I was the same way towards him. Because like it or not, mahal ko parin siya. Hanggang ngayon ay wala paring lalaki na mas nakakahigit sakanya. And it scares me shitless that there will never be a guy that could make me forget him.