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[completed.] It was suppose to be a normal summer for me. Nothing more than staying home doing nothing but hanging out with my “friends”. But no, why would my life be simple like that. I mean, at first, I was not upset at the offer I received, but when the lie slipped out, it was more than enough to push me over the edge. And then they had the nerve to come back and try to make things better? Ha. No. So when I finally went on a bucket-list adventure, history repeated itself and I was stuck in the same situation I was before. Only this time, he was fighting for my love. But I was stubborn, stuck on old ways, and refused to let him back in. But he never gave up, and that is something I still admire to this day. For some reason, my love was worth the fight. Our love was worth everything. Warning: This was during my early writing, so the beginning may be a bit carrot-y, but my writing does improve :) Cover made by the lovely @Liz_Vega :) Cᴏᴘʏʀɪɢʜᴛ © 2012 actuallysteph_

[COMPLETED] I let out a sob and ran up to him, slamming my fists on his chest. "Why did you do it!? I'm sorry just please explain!" He held me close to him until I stopped thrashing about and just cried silently into his chest. "Shh Please stop crying. It hurts to see you in this much pain." He soothed. "Then why Harry, why?" I said with every once of pain emanating from me. "I loved you and you left me. I loved you so much. My judgement was cloudy from the hurt inside my chest. It was a very dumb decision." "You are acting like its no fucking big deal! Your dead! You're gone from all of us! The boys are hurting so much! It was selfish what you did, but it was even more selfish what I did." "Please don't blame yourself. It was my fault, not yours." "Harry its all my fault. You wouldn't be dead if it wasn't for me." He grabbed my chin, making me look him in the eyes. "Now listen to me. I shouldn't have expected you to stay with me when the fans first started harassing you. I should have let you leave but I was being selfish keeping you with me. I just couldn't lose you. But once again I was selfish and left all of you. I'm so sorry." He looked down, a single tear slid down his face. I put my hand up to his face and wiped his tear away with my thumb. "Harry I missed you but now I'm here with you and there are no fans. We can be together now and we don't have to worry about anything." I said barely above a whisper. He looked up into my eyes and pecked my lips, leaving a tingling sensation from where his lips touched. "I wouldn't let that happen." Cᴏᴘʏʀɪɢʜᴛᴛ © Wanderless, Aʟʟ Rɪɢʜᴛs Rᴇsᴇʀᴠᴇᴅ

"I can't love you!" I shouted, he turned and looked back at me. "And why is that? Give me one good reason." He said, his tone filled with pain and sadness. "Because." I replied, my voice quieter. "Audrey please! Was it something I did?" He asked, coming closer. I looked away, unable to look him in the eyes, "I've forgotten how to love! I've forgotten how trust. Because I'm a broken freak."

** Currently editing (May 2020) ** "Who doesn't dream about it? Meeting your favourite band? Well, I do! But, there's a slight problem. I am socially anxious, so... When I finally met them, I shut down. I literally didn't say a word. I tried to hide my face. They probably think I'm an idiot." This is the story of Niall Horan. A normal 18 year old. He's obsessed over a band called One Direction. He is gay and he suffers from Social Anxiety Disorder. He finds it extremely difficult to speak with people, even though he has known them for years. This causes a big problem when he finally gets to meet the boys of One Direction. However, they notice that he's struggling and they want to help him. This results in lots of trouble. Do you think you know what's going to happen? I promise you, you don't have a clue.

"Right now, we don't want to love each other, but we do. Our relationship is toxic, but we can't be without each other," he says, "even when we don't want to be." I look into his baby blue eyes, speechless. He just looks at his feet, but then back at me. "We'll see," I tell him. ------------------------ a/n hi sorry i wrote this book when i was basically a baby child think, so it's not very good but has had some editing so i apologize for how bad it is. a/n it's been 5 years since i wrote this book and it fuckin sucks so like if u wanna torture ur self then read it ig

WARNING: This fanfic may be triggering. He was the one; I didn't realize it till now...till he was gone. My best friend Niall Horan has always been the smiley, laughing, care free kind of guy, but then I noticed something about him. Scars started to appear on his arms, more and more every week. And I noticed that the funny, care free boy I used to know, changed. His smile started to fade, and he did along with it. I did manage to help him, for a while he was clean. But he still wasn't happy. I never asked why he did it; I thought it was too personal. But I always wondered why? Why would he do that to himself? He was so handsome, and funny, I would even say perfect. And it wasn't until now, that I noticed how much I really loved him. I did anything for him, I got anything for him, I just wanted to see my friend happy again. The crazy thing was, he needed me to be there for him, but in reality I needed him to help me. I guess it wasn't enough, because one day everything in my life changed. This is the story of how I lost my best friend and the first boy I've loved. -end of prologue-

Blair Collins is a spunky 19-year-old who desires to follow her wildest dreams and live life to the fullest, alongside her best friend, Delaney. After deciding to leave her town in Ohio for big-city Chicago, she expects to continue her normal life that consists of partying, influencing and modeling, and one-night stands--that is until she meets hot-shot club owner, Niall Horan. Turns out Ohio wouldn't be the only thing that would be bad for her. ------------ "No!" she shouts. "Just stop. You want to know why I'm so upset? I'm upset because I care about you so fucking much, Niall. I don't want to. Honestly, it would've been easier if you were dead, because then there would be no possible way for me to keep coming back to you. But you aren't, and I don't want you to be. That's why I'm mad. I'm upset and angry because I could've easily lost you, and I'm not ready for that. I don't think I ever will be, and it fucking terrifies me, because I know one day I will. One day you'll be gone forever." Multiple tears stream down her face as her voice cracks. She tries to compose herself by pacing her breaths and remaining silent. Unsure about what to do, I rush up to her and pull her into my chest. "I'm right here. I didn't mean for you to see that. This is exactly what I was scared about," I lowly whisper. "What?" she sniffles as I sigh. "Us caring about each other. I'm dragging you into my treacherous world and I can't. You're too pure, too angelic," I feel myself become overwhelmed by my emotions. "What are you saying," she pulls away from me. "No," she shakes her head as I feel my heart slowly breaking. "Blair, I don't know if I can be in your life anymore." "You don't get to make this decision for me," she hisses at me. "It's my life and I get to do whatever I want." This hurts so fucking bad and I have no idea why. ------ MOST IMPRESSIVE RANKING - #10 IN LITERATURE 6/26/21. THIS STORY CONTAINS MATURE AND EXPLICIT CONTENT, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

I scrounge around the magazine section and look past the little girl magazines that I used to read. Seventeen and teen vogue and twist all filled with that boy band. Ugh... I flip through them, laughing at what they until I get to the one direction section in Seventeen. Harry, Zayn, Louis, Liam, and Niall. Niall...I flip through it quickly and smirk at all this and put it on the shelf and start to walk away. My brain finally, some how clicks. "WOAH... WOAH WAIT WHAT?!?!" I scream and realize some little kids are in front of me. I give them a small smile at them as they scream and run the other way. I turn and run back to the magazines in a rush. I sit against the wall and pull that magazine back out again. Niall... Niall... He looks exactly like he does. How does he NOT tell me this stuff when I hang out with him? "How am I that stupid." I whisper to myself and groan and hit my head repeatedly against a wall. Maybe I can knock some sense into my own head if I do this. Nope. Still feel like an idiot. How can I be so stupid? How do I not notice this sort of thing? I mean they are all over! -------------------- Let me tell you a bit about myself. I hate one direction. I really do. But this obviously fake dyed blonde haired boy saves me from a directioner going a concert and then he asks me if I would want to go out with him?! What kind of question is that? Let me tell you about the adventure of finally picking up the broken parts of my heart and letting go of my past and moving on from the bad and onto the new. You never know who would be the one to actually save me.

I looked down at my stomach. A small bump was beginning to form, only if he knew. "Please don't go." I pleaded "I've wanted to do this forever, don't you want me to be happy?" He said grabbing his packed bag I sat on the bed we share in my apartment. Well the bed we did share, until he left. "Please, Niall. I love you." I begged "I love you too, but we're still so young and I know I'll make it far." I shook my head wishing I could wake up and see that this was all a dream, a nightmare at that "Niall I..." I trailed off, I was proud of Niall, I supported this, I supported it until I found out I was carrying our kid. 16 and pregnant, he'd leave me anyways, what would be the point in telling him? "Have some faith in me." He dropped his bag by the bedroom door and walked over to me, giving me the slightest bit of hope, he grabbed my face and kissed me "Bye, I hope I'll see you again." and he returned to his bag...leaving me.

I wasn't always like this. I used to be happy. I used to be the popular girl and I used to smile. But I was an entirely different person now. Life had done that to me. Every thing all happened at once. After the death of my father my life had been flipped upside down. Troy had used me and done something to me that I could never ever forget. He ruined me. I had no clue what was to happen next in my life. I had experienced love, heartbreak and death all at once. Why are all of these people so protective of me? Am I next to die after my father? Why am I always so paranoid? No one knows how my father died, or at least I don't. I know they're all hiding it from me...I just know it. I'm trying to get over it but I can't. Mother won't either. Every time I try to tell her to move on she tells me "You'll never understand love Annie." That's right, cause I won't. It's a bunch of bullshit...love is for idiots. Harry and Niall protect me like they're my bodyguards. I don't need 24 hour protection. I'm not a criminal, nor am I to be hunted down. Or so I think. I can't erase my past, and the horrible things that were done to me and forced upon me. I even keep my story a secret. I'd rather have everyone think that what they knew was the truth, than for them to know what the real truth was; simply because I didn't want it to be brought up again. I find it hard to believe that there's some light out there coming my way. And then there he came. The light of my life. I just have to try and keep him alive with me.