Hide from 'Falling' || H.S

Chapter 15 - Ashley | Trust

After all, I want him to be in excruciating pain that I cause. Since my successful diversion I hate him even more. Him and his beautiful green eyes just like his trained muscular body.
Fuck him.

He has invaded my mind and I can't stop thinking about this asshole. Hopefully when he dies the whole thing will end. All the faster my search for the flash drives must go on. If my father and Robin have nothing more against me, then I can finally murder Harry and my thoughts are free again.

I checked the hospital records of the last few days and no one with the injuries like Harry's was admitted. He's probably being treated by this Louis guy. After all, he has several knife wounds that would attract attention in a hospital. He can't take that risk.

So if he's not dead, what's he been doing all this time? I just can't imagine him lying at home in his bed and resting as he should probably do. He is surely already breaking every law that exists again.

And the other four? What are they doing? They probably want revenge for us screwing them over. Now they hate the CIA even more and my team got also in their view of attention.
If only my girls knew who they were overpowering lately in that mansion ....

They'd die of pride if they found out it was Falling. I'd love to tell them, but unfortunately I can't. Surprise I have trust issues. Thanks dad and every guy I've ever known for that.

Will I ever be able to tell them? Doesn't look like it...
But it's for the best, right?

I swore to myself that I would never become emotionally attached to people so that deep friendships would develop. And now I'm sitting here on my sofa, wondering if I should at least tell the truth to Piper or Layla.

How pathetic am I? They probably don't even think of me as a friend.

If I'm already starting to doubt my own priorities and break my own established rules because of a son of a bitch named Harry Styles, then it's the first red flag that I definitely need to banish him from my thoughts and my life.

The urge to tell someone about his annoying existence is growing. Fuck.

I mean, I love to gossip, in boarding school it was vital, but here, here in the normal everyday life of a secret service agent, talking can get you killed.

My boss Mr. Evans says it's important to have emotional supports to turn to when you need help, but I don't need that. I don't need help from anyone.

Asking Harry to help me is enough for a span of a lifetime. I still hate myself for that. But if I hadn't asked...okay begged him to help me, there wouldn't have been much left to hate. I would have died because of my injuries.

Now that I've been patched up and sufficiently treated, I can continue to stir up my contempt. Of course, I'm not healed yet but it's getting better every day. I just have to rest a few more days.

As I stared out the window of my apartment, lost in thought, my muted cell phone buzzed. I leaned forward to reach for it, my bruised ribs still hurting like hell. Crap.

Emily: Hey hon, Evans wants us to attend a trauma seminar to get all our experiences out of our heads. Hope you come this time too. xx

I threw my phone to the right of me without replying to the message. A deep breath left my throat and my lips. Emily is always worrying about my mental health. If only she knew how broken I really am.