The Howling Commandos (Bucky x Fem! Reader)

 A/n: The image above  isn't mine.

Your P.O.V:

It had been about three weeks since I signed up for Erskine's initiative. I was taking intense training with ladies who were trained in martial arts. The nurses all knew my name since I came in with a broken finger or bruised eye. I also took fencing lessons and learned how to handle other weapons.

By the end of week five, the counselors and Erskine thought I was ready to join a division under a secret identity.

"You will go under the name of your deceased brother, Connor, Y/n. We will disguise you as a man until the time comes to reveal your real identity," General Thompson explained to me. He was the one who taught me how to handle guns. "Do you understand, soldier?" he asked.

"Yes sir yes," I answered. He smiled and patted me on my back.

"Congrats L/n."

**ーー**

Later that night, Dr. Erskine knocked on my door.

"Come on in!" I called out. Erskine walked in with two glasses and a bottle. "I don't think I should be drinking any of that on the night I'm supposed to leave," I joked. Erskine laughed.

"I see you have already gotten your new haircut," he said. I smiled and ran my fingers through my short hair. They cut it so I wouldn't be recognized. It still was h/c, but my hair had been completely shaved down. No more lice or fleas. I was nearly bald! Erskine poured the liquid in the glasses. He handed a glass to me.

"Don't worry," he said. "It's apple cider." I laughed.

"Welp! Let's have one drink," I said. We clink our glasses together before drinking the cider.

**ーー**

I sat at my desk writing letters to Bucky with different dates. I wrote some to Steve too. I wrote about how life was in New York. I wrote about spending many nights listening to the radio and going through childhood memories and pictures.

I put them in envelopes and licked them. I sealed the envelopes and put them in a bag.

"Hey l/n, let's get going."

**ーー**

"L/n! Dugan! Jones! Falsworth! Wake up!!!" The captain yelled. It was my first day being in the 107th division. I had arrived the day before. My new buddies, Monty, Gabe, and Dum Dum Dugan, were already up and dressed.

"Good morning lazy bones," Dum Dum said. I smirked and threw my pillows at him.

"Good morning Dum Dum," I replied in a deep voice. I tried not to make it too deep like I was a kid pretending to be his dad. I just didn't want to get caught. "It's nice to get up early." Once we were ready and fed, the sergeant called us over. I was nervous since the sergeant was Bucky. I took a guess that he was going to oversee our training and prep us.

"Hello soldiers," Bucky said. He, unlike the other sergeants and training instructors, was a bit nicer, but he still was strict and tough. "Ready for training today?" He asked us all.

"Yes sir yes," we all replied.

"Good," he answered. "Now today I'll be teaming you up with partners." I got stuck with Dum Dum, like always, which I never complained about. He was a good sparring partner.

**ーー**

I received a message later that night that Dr. Erskine had been killed by a Hydra agent. I wept as I read the letter. I didn't hear Bucky come in until he sat down next to me.

"What's wrong L/n?" he asked. His question caught me by surprise.

"Oh Sergeant Barnes!" I exclaimed in my normal voice. "I didn't hear you come in." I sniffed.

"So who'd you lose?" he asked.

"I lost someone who was very important to me," I replied, returning to my manly voice. "He was a good friend." Bucky handed me his handkerchief as the tears rolled down my face. I got to keep it together, I told myself. He patted my back as I sniffed noisily into the handkerchief. I noticed that Bucky had a letter in his hand.

"What's that?" I asked. Bucky looked down at his letter.

"Oh this? This is a letter I'm gonna send to my girl back home," he explained. I felt a twinge of jealousy, not knowing who this girl was. "She's been writing me letters."

"What's her name?" I asked. He froze at the question.

"Um, let's just say I'm uncertain that she has feelings for me too." I rolled my eyes.

"C'mon, tell me!" I said. He raised his eyebrow. "Pretty please?" I batted my eyes and did my famous puppy eyes. Hopefully, that didn't give me away.

"Alright, alright! I'll tell you." He said. "Her name is Y/n L/n, which is kind of funny because you two share the same last name." My heart froze at the sound of my real name. I was gonna tell him that I felt the same way, but stopped before realizing that I'm pretending to be my brother. DEAD BROTHER!!!!

"I'm sure she feels the same way." I replied, feeling myself go tense.

"How would you know?" he asked.

"Cause, I may be her brother, Connor," I lied. Bucky looked at me like I was crazy.

"Really?" he exclaimed. "I haven't seen you in forever. Did you go MIA?" he asked. I wasn't surprised that he was surprised. Bucky knew about my brother but I never told him that Connor died in a plane crash during the last war.

"Yes," I said. "I asked to be moved here when I heard my little sister's crush was in the 107th division," I lied.

"Looking out for me, eh?" I nodded. "Well, if we ever come home alive, remind me to buy you a drink," Bucky said before leaving.

"Good night!" I called out.

"Good night L/n!"

**ーー**

Today was going to be our first day out on the battlefield. I held my gun nervously as we snuck through the dark.

"Hey, are you nervous?" Dum Dum asked me, noticing the sweat rolling down my face.

"No, how about you?" I lied.

"Maybe," he responded. Our boots crunched on the leaves on the ground. A branch snapped and if it wasn't for Monty, Dum Dum would've shot the air.

"Thanks man," he whispered. Monty nodded. We continued to walk through the woods until it got dark.