The Mage's Knight in Cold Armor: Apprentice to The Betrayer

Trigger Warning: Mentions of self-harm and mental illnesses

I saw a shadow at the edge of the balcony that was connected to my bedroom! I got up from my bed and used my magic to put on my robe then I walked over to the balcony to see a crow sitting on the ledge of the balcony that overlooked the lake and it's starry reflection of the night skies above. I cautiously walked near the ledge and the crow didn't move! I shook my head with a giggle and I decided to lean on the ledge on my forearms to look at the stars. I heard the crow make a slight squawk as if to grab my attention and all I did was smile and wave at the curious crow. As I was looking up at the sky, I could make out a constellation that looked like a pair of dancing beings! The longer I stared at the constellation, the more animated it became and I suddenly saw Illidan in his night elf form and me dancing gracefully. I felt the need to cry again, knowing that Illidan is in the Twisting Nether and I've already used up so much of my magic to summon him to me. Once when Ludwig almost attacked me while he was under possession by the Lich King then another time when my baby summoned Illidan to come to my side for a brief moment. Then I found myself humming a small little tune, feeling the sorrow within my soul and I began to sing, as if I forgot the crow was listening.

"In time, you'll return.
In time, you'll come to me.
But the day you're no more
My love will last forevermore."

I stopped singing when the crow suddenly flew away and even though I was glad the crow wasn't around anymore, I felt lonely again. I realised that a sun chair was on the balcony as well, just incase the sun would come out, but I'd also use it just to gaze up at the stars. I sat down and lifted the back of the chair to sit up straight rather than being laid back and I breathed in and out with content. I traced circles around my belly and I felt the baby move suddenly! As much as it almost made me want to use the latrine, I laughed a little and I decided to play a little game. I traced quick little circles on parts of my belly and every time I let my finger stray for a little too long, the baby would move to that spot where I traced circles with my finger. I got tired from giggling too much and I continued looking at the stars until I thought about what happened back at Dalaran. I realised that this whole time, I've been letting the Fel get to me too easily to the point where I did almost kill Ludwig and for the first time ever, I'm actually regretting hurting him like that. I do hope he still remembers that I have problems too but I also hope he can forgive me.

"He will forgive you, my love. These things happen! Everything will be okay!"

I heard Illidan's voice in my head echo those words and I instantly started bawling like a big cry baby, my lower jaw trembling and my heart started to pound with panic and anxiety.

'Oh god...what have I done? What have I done?!'

Flashback

"Oh god! Illidan!! What have I done?! What did I do?! Oh fuck!!! I didn't mean to...I-"

Present day

That flashback caused me to cry out loud in agony, making me remember what I did to Norwell, but making the pain so much more vivid! I lost myself to my tears and I started to mumble to myself as I made my way back to my bed, snuffed out the candlelight, got under the covers and curled up in a ball, being careful of my belly.

'Oh god, Ludwig...I'm so sorry! I'm sorry! I couldn't control myself, I'm so, so sorry!'

I bawled even harder, letting my tears flood my eyes and stream down my face until I heard wings flapping at the balcony again! I sat up quickly, wiping my face dry from my tears soaking it and using my Fire magic, I lit up the candle again! Then a strange night elf with green hair and a beard of the same colour, antlers, aqua glowing eyes, lavender purple skin and wearing brown leather armor came walking in! I was about to summon an Arcane blast but he quickly spoke.