Read This And You'll See

It seems that our journey has finally come to a conclusion. To be honest, Idk how to end this book. There are still a handful of things that are left unresolved in my Life, be it with others or myself. I think when I finish high skool I'll add some extra chapters like DLC in order for a true ending to be reached. But for now, I need to shift the attention from off of myself. I've spent a long time talking about how I feel, but there are some things I want to say, or to be more precisely, there are things I wish I could say to people. I mostly wrote this for myself in order to better understand myself and what I want to do in the present and the future. I think I've established that fairly well. I don't know where the future may take me, but all I can do is keep going. I've hurt a lot of people, and I don't want to hurt anyone anymore. I'm still writing this for myself, but I figure people deserve to hear my honest opinion and my sincerest apologies. You don't have to read this part if you, this is just me channeling my thoughts. There's always something we wish we could say to someone, but we can't for a variety of reasons. All I know is that this is the truth, and whether people disagree with it doesn't really matter in the end. This is how I feel, and I can't go against that. Don't go against your feelings, but never let your feelings control you. Basically, don't try and swim upstream, but don't drown while trying to swim with the current. Also I apologize if the grammar gets a bit confusing. I kinda jump from 1st to 3rd person here and there because I'm shit at maintaining consistency, so just do your best to follow along. Sorry about that :(. Jesus this was a long intro paragraph. Alright, let us commence.

I don't know who to talk about first, but I figure I should begin with the person where it all started it all. Mr. Jefferson, my goodness is there a lot to talk about here. I didn't talk about Mr. Jefferson as much as I would've liked to in this book. Since I don't do Speech, I don't really see him, and quarantine makes everything that much harder. He really taught me a lot about what it means to give a speech. It's not all about winning, because Speech and Debate is such an opinion based sport. It's not like gymnastics where there's an obvious criteria you need to meet to score high. Speech and Debate is wildly unique and creative, meaning there isn't one speech that is objectively the best; it varies from person to person. It's far more important learning skills that you can apply to a multitude of subjects, rather than just trying to win, and that goes for everything in Life.

Mr. Jefferson is also one of the few teachers who actually understands kids. Some teachers don't have kids and don't really understand our generation. Then there are teachers who have kids but still don't truly understand high skoolers. We're all self conscious kids who are frantily trying to find out who we are and what to do with ourselves while simultaneously making countless mistakes and thinking we know everything. Mr. Jefferson understood this, and therefore he had compassion and perspective. I've made a fuck ton of mistakes in my lifetime, but he never got mad at me. He never was disappointed in me, or at least he didn't show that on the exterior. Regardless of what I did, he was always by side. He truly was an ally I can count on. I think out of all the people I've met, he's the one who never gave up on me, and he's one of the few people I've encountered who doesn't hate me.

It's pretty crazy how he was the beginning of everything for me. My very first day of high skool began with him, and I bet my very last one will be with him as well. He's been there since day 1, and he hasn't left me. I can't emphasize how grateful I am for that. I'm pretty surprised at how he managed to put up with me all the time. He's kinda been the only adult I've ever really enjoyed talking to, be it about how I feel or all the Life stuff. He keeps it real with me, and while I don't agree with everything he advises or tells me, he's still got my back. I'm kinda repeating myself a bunch here, but honestly I can't thank him enough. He opened up a whole new world to me full of pain and pleasure, and it's taught more than I can even imagine. You work really hard Mr. Jefferson, and when I return to your team, I'll make sure your efforts are rewarded. I thank you, from the bottom of my heart.