I thought we left us in the past | CHONI |

'Hey erm Toni have you seen Cheryl?' Skye approached Toni as she was sipping a beer at the bar. 'I think she might have headed upstairs' Toni tried to give her a smile. 'Okay, thanks. I guess I'll see you later if I don't see you before' Skye smiled before walking away. Skye found the redhead stood outside in the cold, a cigarette hanging from her lips as she leaned against the diners wall. 'Since when do you smoke?' Skye asked as she looked at the redhead. 'I'm just having one to take the stress off' Cheryl shrugged. 'Stress off what?' Skye raised an eyebrow. 'My nana of course. Please can you stop with all the questions, I'm exhausted' Cheryl said closing her eyes for a moment. Before she knew it she'd lost balance and fell to the floor. 'Oh shit Cheryl are you okay?' Skye asked moving to her side. Just as Cheryl fell Toni and a few of the other serpents stepped outside. 'Is she alright?' Toni said running to Cheryl's side. 'I think she's had a little too much to drink' Skye said wrapping her arms around the redhead but too drunk herself to pull her up. 'I can help, if you want?' Toni asked Skye's permission not wanting to overstep. Skye nodded and Toni wrapped her arms around Cheryl and helped the tall brunette pull her on to her feet. 'How are you getting her home?' Toni asked as they balanced the redhead on her feet, her head still hanging down as she was still practically passed out. 'I tried to get a Uber but couldn't, so we'll have to walk' Skye said. 'Okay that's not going to happen' Toni said calling over Sweet Pea and Fangs. Sweet Pea offered to carry the redhead home, Skye looked a little unsure, she didn't know these people and they were in a gang but Toni assured her that Cheryl was safe with them.

Fangs and Sweet Pea walked in front Cheryl bundled in his arms while Toni followed along with Skye. 'This is kind of awkward right?' Skye said looking over to Toni. 'Why?'. 'Well you're Cheryl's ex'. 'I mean, that was a long time ago' Toni said 'I'm glad she's with someone who makes her happy'. 'Well thanks, she makes me happy too' Skye smiled as she continued facing forward. 'How did you guys meet?' Toni asked. 'We met around five years ago in a club, as soon as I saw her, I had to have her. She was and still is so gorgeous. She was a hard chase though, she told me she didn't do relationships but now look at us'. 'Yeah you guys have been together a while' Toni nodded her mind drifting away. 'How long were you guys together, Cheryl mentioned your name as ex but she never went into detail, I didn't even know what you looked like until I saw a photo of you both in her old bedroom earlier today' Skye asked and the question caught Toni off guard, if Cheryl had not said anything maybe she didn't want Skye to know. 'A couple of years but I'm sure if Cheryl hasn't told you about her ex's it's because she's moved on with her life' Toni heard the redhead grumble in front and remembered how she used to do that in her sleep all the time. 'Yeah you're right, oh thank god we're here' Skye breathed out as she saw the mansion come into view.

Sweet Pea carried Cheryl into her bedroom carefully placing her on her bed before leaving the room and waiting for Toni downstairs. 'Would you mind staying here with her for just a second, I need to get some water and painkillers for her hangover tomorrow' Skye asked leaving Toni in the room alone with the redhead. She sat on the bed looking over Cheryl worry in her chest at the girls current state. 'Toni?' Cheryl said her eyes opening slightly. 'Hi' was all Toni said. 'Come lay down, cuddle me' Cheryl said reaching for Toni's hand as she struggled to keep her eyes open. 'I think Skye will be back soon' Toni patted Cheryl's hand but soon after pulled hers away. 'I missed you TT' the redhead looked into Toni's eyes. Toni hadn't heard the small nickname that meant so much to her in years. 'And I missed you Cher but you're happy now, you have a girlfriend and a whole life out of this town' Toni knew Cheryl was drunk and didn't know what she was saying. 'Oh good, you're awake babe' Skye smiled as she came back into the room. 'Mmmhmm' Cheryl nodded. 'I should go' Toni said standing up. 'Well thank you Toni, I'm not sure she'll remember but we're both grateful for your help getting her home'. 'It was no problem Skye' Toni nodded as she walked passed the taller brunette 'I'll see you later'.

Toni, Fangs and Sweet Pea walked back to the southside together. Sweet Pea and Fangs looking at each other, silently deciding who should speak up first. They remembered the mess Toni was in when Cheryl left town even though they had officially broken up. 'You good T?' Fangs asked breaking the silence. 'How many times you guys gonna ask me that today?' Toni huffed. 'Look, we're just looking out for you T, we want to make sure you're okay, that's all' Sweet Pea said knowing Toni's mood was off. 'Sorry guys, I didn't mean to snap. I'm glad she's happy, I really am but I guess it's not as easy as I thought it would be to see her with someone else. I still have that instinct to protect her ya know, but it's not my place anymore' Toni said looking at the ground as she walked. 'I get that T, there's nothing wrong with you still caring about her, I'm sure you guys can be friends' Fangs said putting a hand on her shoulder. 'I guess you're right besides I don't even know anything about her anymore' Toni nodded as she looked at her friends. 'Maybe but you know her soul, the person she is on the inside' Sweet Pea said. 'I used to' Toni sighed 'this is a little awkward for us both I think'. 'It will be T, it'll get easier though' Fangs nodded 'plus she won't be here for too long'. 'Yeah' was all Toni said as they spent the rest of their walk in silence.

Toni struggled a little to sleep that night, she climbed out of her bed in a huff. Her apartment was small but it was hers, something she was proud of. She moved over to the closet and stood on her tiptoes pulling out a box that was hidden at the back. She hadn't looked through the box for a long time but she couldn't bring herself to throw it out when she moved into her apartment. She placed it on her bed before sitting down and removing the lid, like Cheryl's it was filled with memories of their relationship. Toni was telling herself she was over Cheryl and that she was glad she was happy but at the same time she questioned herself, if she was so over the redhead why was she sat on her bed in the middle of the night looking through a box of old memories. Toni decided to give herself tonight, just to remember what they had, not that she ever forgot but then tomorrow would be a new day and she would accept Cheryl as her friend and nothing more. She pulled out old polaroid's of the redhead that she had taken whenever she had her camera on her back in high school, they captured Cheryl's many moods from shy and embarrassed to happy and flirty. Toni remembered taking every single one of the photos. There were a couple of them together too, in their cheerleading outfits, on the back of her motorcycle but her favourite was the one where the redhead had her legs draped over Toni's lap, her head back in laughter at something the Serpent had said. That laugh was probably what Toni missed the most, no matter her mood the redheads laugh would always make her smile. She saw a letter sticking out of the box and decided to read it, she careful unfolded it as Cheryl's neat and cursive handwriting filled the page.

Beloved TT,
Sometimes in person I struggle with what to say to show you how much you mean to me so I thought if I wrote it down you'd always be able to remember. The first few times we met, I was so cold, pretending to be angry at the world when really I was angry at myself. I struggled with who I was for so long and then you came along and showed me what true love and acceptance was. You saw through all my walls, through the persona, you saw me. I could never thank you enough for everything you did for me, you literally saved me, our first kiss was magical and I could never feel for someone else what I feel for you. You are my one and only Toni Topaz for now and forever. You are the most important person in my life and I can't wait to see where our life's take us. As long as I'm with you though, I don't care. Thank you Toni for loving me the way you do and always making me feel safe.
I love you, so so much.
Cher x

Even though Toni had read that letter many times before it felt different now, all these years later when they'd spent so many years apart. Toni allowed herself to cry a little, grieving for the relationship they shared and the one they could had now if they'd have worked everything out. Toni pushed everything back in the box deciding not to go through the rest as she shoved it under her bed, Cheryl was happy now and even though she missed her dearly Toni would never come in between what the redhead and her girlfriend had. She'd keep her Cheryl and the memories of her tucked safely in her heart as she had done for all these years. She crawled underneath the duvet, suddenly exhausted, turning up the volume on her television hoping it would drowned out her loud thoughts as she tried to sleep.