The Ghost of a Memory.

11:00 PM

The minute my friend got home I FaceTimed her. We talked about everything that happened. I was ecstatic. She proposed the idea, "Should I text him and ask if you two are a thing?" I quickly responded yes, hoping for him to feel the same way. Her face dropped... "He said 'No lol.' I'm so sorry." My heart sunk. "But we cuddled and he made the first move and-" my words were cut off by a single tear. She asked him more questions but the deeper she dug the worse my night got.

2:00 AM

I was on the floor, crying. Listening to music to get my mind off of it. I was alone. 'It all meant nothing to him...' My hopes and dreams had been crushed. His excuse was that since we talked about affection and comfort on FaceTime together all the time, he thought that he would show me some because that's what I needed. I clearly didn't get the memo. He told my friends that he was the one who wanted the comfort and affection. But when he called me to clear things up... he put it on me. He also claimed he didn't have time for a relationship. His 'apology' was riddled with excuses. I couldn't take it anymore. After we called I put down my phone and cried, I awake all night long. I would never feel his embrace again... it was all gone.

The Weeks That Followed

He was always on my mind. I made efforts to talk to him, I told him that I missed him, I tried everything. But it was never the same. He was distant. He was gone. I could never forgive myself for being curious. I hated everything. I was hung up on him. Hurt. Hopeless. I was ready to give up on love. I was broken. Numb. I felt defeated. I couldn't deal to look at his name. I had put in so much time and energy to him. We used to call every night. We used to fall asleep on call, I even woke him up in the morning on FaceTime once. His mother and I loved each other, I talked to her for hours. Now it was all gone.

A Month Later

We were back in school, exactly a month after that date. I had to sit next to him in every class, my teachers did me dirty. He was bothersome and annoying. I couldn't deal with it. Even after his seat changed in almost every class, he would make a game of throwing things at me in Spanish. I was fed up. I had no choice but to sit there and deal with it. My feelings were gone for him. I had moved on. I realized my worth and I realized how much of an asshole he was to me. The memory barely crossed my mind. I was proud of myself.

The ghost of the memory is still haunting, but I drown out the whispers telling me I'll never have that feeling again. I know I will, one day. But until then, I have our intricate story... maybe in another life stupid. <3