Without Me

Lizzie enjoyed the silence in her room. Hope was still at class, and there were no sounds coming from the hallway. All she had to do was relax.

Ironically, that was the one thing she found she couldn't do. So now she was poking around Hope's side of the room while she had the chance. She wasn't sure Hope would give her a second one. She knew how private and reserved the tribrid was around strangers, and while Lizzie certainly wasn't that, that's exactly what Hope thought she was.

Lizzie dragged her fingers over Hope's bedspread, reminiscing about the time when she used to be invited into this bed. She went through Hope's jewelry and sure enough, there was the necklace Lizzie had gotten her for her birthday. She wondered if Hope couldn't remember how she got it. She glossed over the photos of Hope and Landon, of Hope and her parents, her aunts, her uncles, of Hope and MG, Rafael, Kaleb, Cleo, hell there was even one of her and Jed that Rafael had taken after the 80's dance. But Lizzie herself was gone. There wasn't a single photo of her anywhere in the room.

She picked up the photo of Rafael and Hope smiling at the camera, Hope covered in dirt but looking beautiful in her dress she'd worn to Lizzie's birthday party and Rafael dressed sharply in silver. Lizzie's fingertips rested against the glass.

"What are you doing?"

Lizzie jumped, almost dropping the frame.

"Don't touch that!" Hope lunged forward, snatching the frame from Lizzie's hands. She rubbed the edges with her sleeves like she could clean Lizzie's contamination off the edges.

"Sorry." Lizzie took a step back. "I just - Rafael, right? I - Well … We had a one night stand back in Atlanta. I thought I recognized him is all, I swear."

"Yeah, Rafael." Hope set the photo back down, arranging it perfectly. Lizzie waited, still deciding between whether Hope would yell at her or not. "He was my best friend."

"Was?" Lizzie hated playing the part.

"He died. Suddenly. I never got to say goodbye." Hope kept her back to Lizzie.

"How did he die?"

"It's a really long story, but basically a witch played us, and Rafael ended up really sick and there was no way to save him." Hope began to unpack her backpack from class, still not looking at Lizzie.

"What?"

That wasn't anything like what happened to Rafael. Hope was acting like he was dead. Like she couldn't astral project to a prison world and see him anytime. Like they didn't save his life. Like Lizzie herself didn't singlehandedly let hundreds of students say goodbye - except Lizzie wasn't there in Hope's mind. There was no one to astral project them to say their goodbyes. There was no one to help Hope make the prison world. Josie had been in Europe at the time. There was no Gemini witch on hand. 

"What?" Hope echoed back.

"I think I - I just need a minute." Lizzie stumbled from the room, unable to hear whatever Hope said in response. 

There was no way Malivore could magically make Rafael dead. That's not how his magic worked. He couldn't change what had happened - only what people remembered. When everyone forgot Hope, all her heroics weren't magically undone. That's just not how it worked.

Lizzie was grateful to find her father's office unlocked. It seemed like even in this universe, he was too trusting of his students and staff. Lizzie shuffled through the shelves, looking for the ascendant. 

It was nowhere to be found. She even siphoned the illusion spell and found a secret stash of bourbon and whiskey but no ascendant.

"Damn it." Lizzie collapsed in the chair. Where could the ascendant be? She pressed her hand to her mouth as she thought. Maybe in Josie's room? Back in her and Hope's? Where would an ascendant no one knew existed end up?

Lizzie was about to get up and try a new spot when the door flew open, making her jump out of her chair.

"What are you doing in here?" Caroline asked, narrowing her eyes and crossing her arms.

"I -" Lizzie stared at her mom with wide eyes. "I was looking for Headmaster Saltzman. He - I was hoping he could help me."

"Well I'm headmistress, so what is it I can help you with?" Caroline's voice was anything but warm despite her wide, fake smile. 

"My schedule?"

"You'll get your schedule tomorrow morning - along with your orientation, which will tell you that sneaking into the headmaster's office is strictly against the rules." Caroline tilted her head and smiled, no more sincere than before. "You should probably get back to your dorm."

"Okay." Lizzie hung her head as she walked past her mom, but she knew she was going anywhere but her dorm.