RANDOM STUFF THAT IM POSTING

(Just saying this is pretty gruesome 😟😟 also mentions of wanting to self death)

I never forgot that night.

We were beaten up badly. We still won of course, Vikings never seemed to lose. We were laying in a field bleeding out. If death could have killed us, we would have been dead.

I remember Matthias getting on his knees and screaming to the gods.

He begged them to kill him.

"Kill me!"

"I don't care how, just kill me!"

"Just kill me!"

"Please!"

He kept repeating it, sobbing out each word. All I could do was helplessly stare at him. I saw him sobbing and I didn't move to comfort him.

Eventually Swe found us. He found Den screaming at any god up in the sky. He found me laying on the ground. He was very gentle with Denmark. He carried him back. Sweden offered to carry me, but I denied his offer. He wrapped our wounds with care. Like the haunting screams, I remember how gentle he was when caring for our injuries.

Matthias would still stare at weapons before we went into battle. Neither of us picked up on it, but looking back there seemed to be an odd look on his face. He never tried anything, but I wondered for years if those feelings were still there.

Looking at him now, he appears to be better. Being around people who don't want him dead 24/7 is good for him. Good for all of us actually.

I try to check on him whenever I can. To make sure he's at least still ok. I don't want him to beg for something like that again. I guess that's why I was so quick to help care for his wounds. Why I was there with him every battle after our time as Vikings.

That place was no place for a child, I realize that now. Nothing I can do. Being angry at long dead people won't do any good.

The night is still haunting though. I wonder if Sweden feels the same way. I wonder if Denmark ever thinks back to that time as well.

(I woke up and thought of this 😟😟 I'm not even sure how I feel about this "head canon" my mind told me to write and I wrote 💀💀)