Save me before it's too late

Gaon couldn't remember much. He hazily recalled taking pills, God knows where he found them. His body became so heavy he wasn't able to hold it up anymore and lied down into a position he intended to die in.

Then his phone rang. There weren't many people who called Gaon, none to be more specific. Maybe it was Oh Jin Joo. He had to answer her so she would not worry. With the greatest fight Gaon has ever put up, he crawled on the floor till he reached his phone. It was really his ex-colleague who called, it just wasn't the female judge.

Kang Yohan's voice, the firm yet soft and gentle tone put Gaon on his feet in an instant. It was as if he forgot everything bad and suddenly remembered all the good things. All the emotions that he had associated with Yohan's voice.

It was a short call as Gaon got dizzy again but he didn't regret anything. He got a chance to apologize. He heard Yohan's voice one last time, the person he cared the most about. 'What a nice ending' was the last thought Gaon had before losing consciousness. He was content, delusional happiness washing over him in what he believed were his last moments.

When Gaon first opened his eyes again, he foolishly thought he was reborn. This impression lasted for only a split second as the sterile environment, dim light, lots of white, and sound of beeping monitor made him realize he was indeed still alive in his current life.

There was no relief, no gratitude.

The moment Gaon understood he failed, an unreasonable amount of hate and fury stirred up. Hatred for himself, his incapability to do one thing right. One. Simple. Task. That was all he needed to carry out and still somehow failed.

The uncontrollable anger was directed at the people who saved him. If a person wishes to die, why interfere?! Why bring all the misery back, why not put him at ease? Wasn't Gaon a free man? Wasn't he allowed to just take a break, just fucking end it all? Who gets to decide his fate if not himself?!

The monitor started beeping faster as Gaon's mental balance shattered. He braced himself and opened his eyes, not waiting until his blurred vision cleared up. He was connected to all sorts of tubes and IV's but ripping them out of his body wasn't as difficult as Gaon thought. It didn't even hurt. His body was completely numb, heaven knows for what reason.

Gaon had to get out. The hospital room was big and modern but also empty. There wasn't one piece of clothing to change into and the only thing Gaon found was the watch Yohan gave him. It was placed on a nightstand next to his hospital bed. The younger judge picked it up only to notice the watch's glass was cracked. It must have happened when he fell that time because Gaon normally took unnecessary good care of it.

Upon seeing the watch now, Gaon resisted the urge to smash it against the floor. He was fed up. Stumbling around the room, the younger judge looked like a mad man. His hair was messy, eyes bloodshot and unfocused, breathing shallow. The hospital gown loosely hugging Gaon's thin body added finishing touches to the overall impression, but Kim Gaon couldn't care less about his appearance.

Before he could open the door and leave, it suddenly opened on its own. Doctors with nurses barged in since the system altered them about the patient being disconnected from the monitors. Before they could seize Gaon and sedate him, he was long on a run.

There was no time, he had to get out – and try again. This time being more careful, choosing a better method. 'Do I jump in front of a car? Or fall from a tall building? Maybe I could hang myself on that railing?' Thoughts like these flooded Gaon's mind while he sprinted through the hospital, looking for an exit. The medical staff was right behind his back but the younger judge ran surprisingly fast, fueled by adrenaline and inexplicable anger. The only thing Gaon knew is that he wanted, needed to die. He was already supposed to be dead and this whole situation seemed like a fever dream.