Hide from 'Falling' || H.S

Chapter 87 - Harry | Traitor*

That I already drove her to doubt my love with my behavior, felt like a stab in the heart and it made me so incredibly angry at the same time. But I wasn't mad at her, I was mad at myself.

I hated myself for making her cry. She deserves better than that, to be honest with her and that's exactly what I'm going to be today.

Because I have to let her decide, I can't take that away from her. She has the right to decide what happens in her life.

When she told me, after the most incredible sex in the world, that I had a beautiful soul and that she was proud of me, I knew it couldn't go on like that. Never before has someone said something so loving and touching to me and meant every word.

She is proud of me. Never before has anyone been proud of me.

The memory of our promises, have awakened another. I promised her not only that we would have all the time in the world, but also that I would not do anything that would make her betray me.

Maybe that's why part of me didn't want her to know about the robbery...because that would break that promise.

I had a lump in my throat when I thought that with my confession I might cause her to hate me forever. While she and I were running away from the Kiwi Clan, I completely forgot about the diamond heist and Ash and I still hated each other so I wouldn't have told her anyway.

Now everything is different. But I can't cancel it either, we've already put too much time and work into this plan and the guys and I need the money to pay off some debts so we can finally be free and still have enough money to live carefree afterwards.

Not only for Ashley would running away be dangerous, also I could not just disappear, there are people I still have to pay otherwise they will never leave me alone. No one is actively hunting me, but as I told her yesterday, there is always someone who wants to see me dead.

Freedom has its price and now we have to pay it.

And I knew that Ash and I could never run away together....never.

The guys and I have sold our soul years ago, for the necessary protection from enemies in the city we had to sign a contract and the payment is due soon.

Otherwise Falling will soon go down.

"Ash, baby, are you awake?" I whispered in her ear. I had been lying awake for hours, sleeping was not an option, I felt too guilty for that.

The robbery is in direct opposition to everything she believed in, she won't be able to see past it but I'll tell her about it anyway. She should make her own decision.

And maybe I can fix everything.

"Five more minutes, okay? My muscles hurt....and we don't have anywhere to go anyway." she grumbled back sleepily. God, how I will miss mornings like this.

I still had an arm wrapped around her, admiring her natural beauty in the beam of morning sunlight shining into my room. Maybe there is still hope and she will forgive me for not telling her about the robbery earlier...

After all, she never told her boss about my true identity anyway, so it doesn't make any difference if we plan a diamond heist and she finds out about it, does it? Or am I just trying to convince myself of that?