Caps & Mutfruit

"Are you avoiding me?" Macready accused as I walked by him.

I stopped in my tracks and looked down at the ground, "Not actively, I just have a lot on my mind."

I was lying as usual. It had been three days since we had sat down together like we used to and although I missed him I knew it was for the best. My mind wouldn't stop going back and forth between my loyalty to my father and what I knew I really wanted, which was out and away from the gunners. I had asked around Sanctuary and heard terrible stories, the things that other platoons did was sickening. Macready's blind kinship with me was pulling me even further apart. Even the reports that I had been sending back to the Mass Pike Interchange were misleading. As far as they were concerned we were nearer to Pearson's asylum.

"Whats on your mind?" He asked sincerely with a soft smile as he stepped closer to me and grabbed my hand.

"Just trying to figure out how much longer I would need to run with Nate before I pay off my debt."

His hand dropped mine and his face fell, "I didn't realize you were unhappy here."

I kept my voice soft, "I am happy. I just don't know how I feel about depending on other people."

"You keep saying things like that," he face scrunched into a combination of frustration and confusion, "Just say what you mean Alice."

"I mean- Garvey, and everyone else. How do I know that I won't turn around one day to see them with a knife pointed at me."

"Have I ever given you a reason not to trust me?" Macready's voice gave away how much my lack of trust hurt him.

I wished more than anything I could tell him that it was me that I didn't trust.

"I just can't do this," I snapped at him, instantly regretting it, and walked away.

MACREADY'S POV
-----

"What the hell Ally," I hollered as she kept walking.

I knew she was having a hard time dealing with being around people who were treating her well for the first time since her mother had died, but clearly she was struggling more than I ever had. When I lost Lucy I thought the entire world was out to get me and Duncan, but running with Nate helped open me up again.

"What was that about?" Nate walked up beside me and gestured towards the still storming Alice.

"She just blew up," I shrugged.

"No one blows up for no reason Mac."

"Well this one did."

"What were you talking about?"

"She brought up that she was thinking about leaving and that she doesn't trust anyone."

"And?"

"And apparently in her little screwed up world when someone is nice to you and does things for you then that means they are out to get you even more."

"And who the hell does that sound like?"

"Jez, was I be that difficult to be with?"

"No, its just that she is so innocent. You have to understand things from her perspective. This is the first time she has stayed in one place and been able to feel safe. You already knew that feeling at some point before when I met you, she has never been exposed to it," Nate explained.

"Yea, I guess."

"You are probably the best person to help her learn to settle in," Nate continued, "And I heard that she has been asking around about the Gunners, which means you probably told her about your time with them and she is probably a little spooked right now."

"Yea, I did."

Nate shrugged and walked away, always an enigma. Pointing out the obvious and just leaving you to figure out everything yourself.