Countess (Count Olaf x OC)

Author's note: here's the rest of the part starting from the next morning! If you skipped the previous chapter, basically Edith went to sleep, had a bad dream, she woke up to find Olaf sleeping next to her, they talked about the dream before Olaf held her until she fell asleep again.

The next morning, I found myself sitting at the long dining table beside Olaf who was drinking his morning coffee while I picked at my breakfast.

I was surprised to see Klaus enter the dining room; he strode in confidently with the book on Nuptial Law in his hands before sitting down in the chair at the end of the table across from Olaf. The slam of the book dropping onto the table made the Count look up from his lap.

"What are you doing here?" asked Count Olaf groggily. "You're supposed to be in your room."

"I was in my room all night," said Klaus, "and I know what you're up to."

"Me?" Count Olaf asked. "I'm just having my morning coffee, although I can't seem to find the sugar bowl."

Klaus ignored him and opened the law book to a marked page and began reading from it. "The only nuptial requirements are a statement of active acquiescence by both participants, utilizing in loco parentis if necessary, and the signing of an explanatory document in the bride's own hand."

"Let me give some advice," Count Olaf said to Klaus. "If you use fancy-pants words first thing in the morning, you're going to end up a very lonely man."

"I figured out your scheme," Klaus told him, making eye contact with me for the first time before looking at the Count once more. "You're not going to marry Edith figuratively. You're going to marry her literally."

My eyes immediately widened and my jaw fell open. I turned my head to look at the Count to see if this was true or not.

"Literally?" He gasped. "That's outrageous. I... wait. Literally?" He began thinking to himself as to what the word 'literally' meant.

Klaus sighed. "You don't know the difference between figuratively and literally, do you?"

Count Olaf kept trying to think of the difference but came to nothing.

I sighed and told him gently, "So literally would be an actual marriage, whereas figuratively would be marrying me for the theatrical production."

"I knew that," said Olaf. "I was testing you."

Klaus rolled his eyes. "If my sister says, 'I do' and signs a piece of paper while Justice Strauss is in the room, she's legally married. This play won't be pretend- it will be real and legally binding."

Before I could tell them to stop talking about me as if I weren't there, Count Olaf said bluntly, "I wouldn't marry your sister if she were the last orphan on earth. A man like me can acquire any number of beautiful women who don't complain about doing their chores. What's in it for me?"

His words felt like a steel bat against something tender. My mouth closed firmly and I gritted my teeth against the threatening tears.

Klaus stood up and flipped to another marked page in the book. "A legal husband has titular and practical control over any relevant fiduciaries, resulting in aggregate financial dominion over any spousal holdings."

"I don't think a boy your age ought to be using the 'titular'," He snickers.

"If you became Edith's husband, you'd gain complete control over the Baudelaire fortune," Klaus reminded him. "But a prospective spouse must be chronologically sound and appropriate in regards to the age of consent according to prevailing community standards. My sister isn't old enough to get married, even if she wanted to."

And with that, it seemed that Count Olaf's true intentions had been revealed loud and clear.