One (A SPM AU BASED ON LN2)

The Afterwards

He gently walked over and kneeled in front of me. He didn't look how he used to look. Yes, the yellow iris was still in his left eye, but that wasn't what was different. It was his expression. There was no smile or emotion in his eyes. No love, no anger, no betrayal. There was just... nothing.

I expected him to be upset with me. I expected yelling. I expected him to demand answers. I thought he would ask me why I did it. I thought he would tell me that he hated me and that my betrayal was a prime example of everything wrong with the world.

But... he didn't do any of that. In fact... he asked me one question. And it was not a question I was expecting him to ask.

"Does it hurt...?" He asked me. 

I paused for a minute, looking up at him with slightly red eyes which were filled with tears.

"W-What?" I asked.

I had heard what he said, but I needed an excuse. I needed an excuse to hear his voice again.

"Does it hurt?" He repeated, this time with a slower, almost condescending tone.

His voice was still the same. He still sounded like that average little boy. Thank Grambi I still remembered his voice. 

I slowly nodded before breaking into more tears leaning forward and grasping his arms tightly, leaning into him, unable to even speak. I didn't want to let go. I wanted him to stay with me and help me feel better. I wanted him to sing to me again and help me feel safe enough to fall asleep.

He didn't move. He actually tensed up. He didn't hug me or tell me that everything was going to be okay like I thought he would. He just... stood there.

Which in itself, was very un-One like. 

I really had broken him, didn't I.

This wasn't even the real One. It was just a dream my mind made up to torture me and show me how badly I messed up in my youth.

We just stayed that way, me and One. I didn't let go, he didn't hold me back. We both remained stuck, trapped, and broken. I didn't let go this time. I grasped him tightly all the way until I woke up and he faded away forever. 

I woke up that night with tears still in my eyes. 

And I remember thinking about how cruel that was. That the tears were the only things I could carry into the real world from my dream.

At that moment... the pain of what I had done to my only friend had become too much. I couldn't bear it anymore. I could look at everything and be reminded of what I had done to him. I could look at the sky and know that it remained without a sun because of me. 

Everything hurt, and there was no way it was going to get better without him. There was no one who was even capable of making me feel happy again. My father never cared about making me smile. 

I didn't blame him though. One wouldn't want me to blame him. He'd blame the tribe for making my father that way, and he'd blame the world for making the tribe that way.

And the world was that way because I killed the only person capable of changing it. So, if I really took a deep look at this, it was all my fault. And I couldn't bear that weight anymore. There was no other solution

So... I climbed one of the tallest mountains in the area.

 I jumped.

I wanted to end it all and join him. I wanted to die the same way he died. I was going to let myself go, just as I let him go. And maybe then, I could see him again. I wanted to apologize to him and tell him I was sorry. I didn't want forgiveness. I just wanted him to know how much this was hurting me. I wanted to avenge him by finally killing the one responsible. Me.