Story Of My Life (In A Relationship With EXO Lay ?)

I was back in Korea after two weeks to pack up my belongings, and complete my grad school. My apartment was as it was I had left it. Empty. Inside out. Just like its owner. Sunhee hadn't talked to me since my engagement. Alanna did message to set up a meeting, but I refused, saying that I had a lot of things to do back in home.

She had no idea about my engagement just like Exo members had no idea about what went down in China, except the leader. I wanted to keep it that way. I didn't want them to hate me yet. Growing close to Hyun Jae, Chanyeol, Kyungsoo, Baekhyun, Junmyeon, Jongin and somewhat being acquainted with Sehun, Jongdae and Minseok was a tough thing to let go.

The minute they got to know about the truth, they would side with their team member,that was Yixing. Not that they would be wrong to. Even I won't take my side if I were them.

The door opened, and I didn't even have to turn around to look at the person. Only Yixing knew about the password. He had come to visit me. I expected it to happen, but not this soon. "What are you doing here?" I felt deja vu as I stared at him, standing on the other side of the door.

Just like other times, he didn't bother to reply and walked past me. "We need to talk. Why did you get engaged to a man you don't know...let it go. Tell me this, how come you are this robotic? You don't have a flicker of feeling for me?"

"I read your message and replied. I don't like you, Yixing." I stared at him. "Not anymore. I would have..." Tell him the truth. It's over anyways. "I would have given you a chance, had you asked before. I liked you," I sounded detached even to my own ears, but it was truth too. "But, you only wanted something casual."

"Fei-"

"I got ready to give you that too. Don't you realise how pathetic I had been for you? I wasn't lying when I said I could lay down there and you could do anything to me." I looked away when his eyes teared up. "You pushed me away-"

"I pushed you away?" He grabbed my elbows. "I? You think you were pathetic? You don't know about me then. I fucking became your puppet just so you would give me a space in your life. I stopped asking questions when realised it made you uncomfortable. I was waiting for you to trust me enough to share your life with me!" He screamed, stepping away and turned his back to me.

"Look-"

"You ruined everything, Fei." He pulled on his hair strands, his breathing uneven. "You ruined us."

"You have a girl in your life!" I snapped, turning him around. "Don't you dare blame it on me. I asked you times and times again if you were in a relationship. You didn't deny it. You never confessed to me. You only wanted a casual-"

"You didn't see the fear that I saw in your eyes every fucking time I tried to get closer. I pulled away every time because you seemed on the verge of having a fucking panic attack whenever I pried into your life!" Yixing gritted out. "I thought you didn't like me enough yet. I was trying Fei, to be someone you could like. I was waiting-"

"You never confirmed it for me!" I cried out, and threw my hands in air. "I waited for you too, Yixing. Okay? I waited for you to give me a hope, but you snatched every thing for me. You made sure that I have a clear understanding of what we had. Stop molding-"

"I never had a girlfriend! Wei was the girl you saw with me before my debute. She had family restrictions and is being paired with me! I didn't even know that she was going to kiss me when you crossed us." A tear rolled down his cheek. "I would have come clean, but I saw you then. I noticed how comfortable you were with me now that I had someone in my life. As if you were relieved that I won't have feelings for you in the future since I already was after someone."

"You never liked Wei or Sana?"

"Never!" His lips trembled. "You gave me a pain of eternity, Fei. All I've done was to like you. Did you have to punish me like this?" Yixing fell on his knees. "You're committed to someone else... What am I to do now?"

My breathing was choked, chest rising and falling so hard I couldn't speak even if I wanted to. I watched him. He was covering his face. I looked outside to see it was raining. I went to the TV and turned the volume up before going to the balcony. Throwing my head back, I stared at the dark grey sky and screamed. I screamed for all of the accumulating emotions and the pain.

Yixing appeared to my side. "Fei! What are you doing?"

"What am I doing?" I hit his chest. "Why am I fucking crying? Fuck you, Yixing, okay? It's all because of you. If it weren't for you, none of this would've happened. You barged into my life and invaded my space and now...now look at this mess!"

"I barged in?" He grabbed both my hands, forcing me to stop, but he didn't yank them away from his chest. "I did it? How about you? Why did you have to make me obsess with you? Why did you have to be the one to snap me out of my misery that day in the classroom? Why did you have to be there in the supermarket? Talk to me with that beautiful face and charm of yours."

"Listen-" I started, but he continued.

"You showed me the side you didn't show the rest of the world? I felt alive after you entered in my life! I thought I had a stupid crush and it would go away, but no! You had to be here in South Korea too. I love you to the point I can't breath, Fei. So, fuck you for ruining what we could have together!"

The thunder rumbled over our heads. We were like two rats under the pouring rain, numb to the outer environment. There was too much inside of us I guess. I placed a hand over his shoulder. "Yixing. You don't have to do anything. I'm... I'm still the person who is crazy about you."

He lifted his head up, and my heart constricted to see his heart broken expressions. I cupped his cheeks and kissed him, but he pulled away. "No. No. You're not mine here. You're committed to-"

"I never wanted anything or anyone in my life." I hung my head low. "I always think that people deserve better. Better than me. I hate myself so much, Yixing, but I want you. You're the only one that I want in my life. For however long you can stay."

Yixing stared at me. His index finger traced down the bare skin of my arm all the way to where the top of the zipper rests. Goosebumps covered my flesh. I turned around, surrendering myself to him. We were still in the balcony. He slid his fingers down my exposed back. I closed my eyes, my forehead falling against the glass. A whimper fought its way out, but I bit my lip against it.

His breaths against the shell of my ear and his presence behind me sent bursts of pleasure down my spine and right between my legs. "I'm yours," I whispered, and he wrapped an arm around my waist. I was trembling.

Yixing had me pressed against the glass door, his lips hovering over my neck as he bit the outer shell of my ear. Turning me around to face him, he cupped my cheek. "You started this whole mess." His voice was calm, but his shoulders were rigid as he towered over me. "You wanted me to stay away from you, but now I promise you, Fei... I won't give up until I uncover every secret of you. You're never getting away from me. Never."

He lifted my chin with two fingers and slammed his lips to my parted ones. I gasped against him, my head swirling with dooming thoughts and my heart bleeding, trembling, craving more.
So much more.

"Tonight, I won't let you go, Fei. I won't."