Broken Arrows *In progress and edition*

P.O.V. Amaya

I arrived at my hotel room with my anxiety at its peak. I was once again experiencing those horrible symptoms that a person who suffers from anxiety attacks has: shaking, sweating, nausea, crying for no reason, and difficulty breathing. My mind began to replay that memory in which I wanted to end it all and disappear.

Flashback.

2006.

San Diego, California.

The night had fallen quickly after a day walking around the city, I was only a few days away from going back to school after the Christmas holidays, which I don't like, since I don't want to go back to that hell that I go through every day. My family had gone out to dinner, I stayed in the room which was on the fifth floor of the building, I was totally alone, with all the lights off except for a lamp that was in a small piece of furniture that was next to the bed where I was lying, which was a few inches from the window where you could see the dark city and little lights everywhere.

*With that body you have you look like a prostitute...*

*We don't accept freaks like you...*

*Surely in the future you will die single, nobody would love you for who you are... as a phenomenon*

*That dress you're wearing makes you look like a slut...*

Tears began to come out of my eyes with force, I can no longer bear those horrible insults that destroy me more and more, but what destroys me the most is remembering that person who hurts me every day.

*At your age, many girls are barely developing... but you, at this age, look like a beautiful 18-year-old woman...*

*You are so pretty that to be my student, it makes me want to make you mine...*

*LET ME GO! DON'T HURT ME PLEASE*

*If you tell anyone about this, it will make things worse for you...*

"I can't take it anymore..." 

My breaths are hectic and my right arm won't stop bleeding, I knew the time had come.

I got up from the bed and with a slow step I approached the window, although fear invades me, I am determined to do it, I opened the window slowly avoiding attracting attention. The cold air began to enter the room and you could hear the sounds of cars, trucks and motorcycles passing through the streets, I sat in the chair next to the window and looked down with the greatest courage in the world.

"Everything is to be in peace..." 

A crooked smile formed on my lips, I dropped my legs out the window, they were swinging nonstop, little by little I began to push myself out, I continued like this until I was just a few millimeters from the edge.

And without thinking twice...

End of flashback.

"I was only 14... How come I thought of wanting to do that?"

I asked myself in a low voice feeling a lump in my throat, with the key I had in hand I opened the door of the room and quickly entered with my things, without taking a quick look at the place I went to the bathroom leaving the suitcase on the floor and the backpack on the bed, I was feeling very bad, literally in my own perspective, traveling alone is something totally complicated, especially if you suffer from panic attacks, Borderline and post-traumatic stress, I feel like an animal trapped in its cage who goes through the same thing over and over again every day.