It All Started In A McDonald's...

Nothing much else happened until just before we were due to go on patrol, when Barnes was returning from his shift. Before I could suggest we went down, since Peter would be arriving soon, Loki took over the mic and speakers again. Barnes, like I'd seen most Avengers do, had a security card which could be scanned to let them get past the main doors (unlike me, who wasn't allowed one, so I still had to ring the bell). He went to do this like usual, but Loki pressed the Override - Deny Access button so the doors wouldn't open for him. Barnes pulled a face in confusion, trying again, to the same result.

He attempted a few times before seeming to realise something was up, mumbling, "What the fuck?" to a round of silent laughter from me and Loki. Eventually, Barnes had the sense to try the doorbell.

Loki put the microphone on. "What's the password?"

Barnes looked totally perplexed. "What?"

"Incorrect password," Loki replied, doing a good job of keeping his voice steady, unlike me. "Please, try again."

"Oh, haha, very funny, Loki," Barnes said, as he recognised his voice, catching on and rolling his eyes. "Let me in."

"Incorrect password," Loki repeated. "Please, try again."

Barnes stared down the camera and said, matter-of-factly, "You're a bitch."

I have no idea how Loki managed to keep himself from messing up the act, because I erupted in laughter – yet again. But he just repeated, "Incorrect password. Please, try again."

Barnes held a rude gesture up to the camera with his metal arm. When this didn't prompt a response, he said, "Seriously, are you going to make me stand out here all day?"

"What would happen if I did?" Loki asked. "Would I get in trouble with your boyfriend?"

Judging by the way Barnes scowled at that, I suspected that was exactly what he'd been planning to do. "You know I'd never do that. And he's not my boyfriend." He still didn't sound so sure about that.

"Maybe I should make that the password," Loki mused. "I should make it Bucky and Steve forever and ever. Wait, no." He turns to me. "What's that thing you kids do now, Jamie? Ship names? What would theirs be?"

"Uh, probably Stucky," I said, amused and conscious of the fact I was not, in fact, a shipper. Loki didn't strike me as one either – this was clearly just another way to wind Barnes up. But it was funny either way.

"Jamie, how the hell do you put up with him?" Barnes asked, and I hadn't realised he could also hear my voice. Unless he couldn't and just knew I was there. "You deserve a medal." And exactly at that moment, another figure appeared in front of the camera, next to Barnes. Spider-Man.

"What's going on, Mr Barnes?" Spider-Peter asked. "How come you're not going in?"

"I need a password," Barnes explained. Peter's eyepieces narrowed confusedly.

"Hey Spider-Man," I said, leaning over to speak into the mic, and Spider-Peter jumped about a foot into the air. "What's up?"

It took him a moment to register, but eventually he replied, "The sky," like usual.

Loki took over the microphone again. "OK, we'll come down and meet you, you stay there Spider-Man." Just as he was about to turn it off, Barnes spoke up.

"What about me? Aren't you going to let me in?"

I could see Loki thinking about this. "I'll let you in when I come down. A little bit of waiting never hurt anyone." Barnes scowled, but he'd already turned off the mic. To me, Loki said, "This is actually me being nice, by the way."