stupid madness combat x reader content

(content warning for mentions of smacking ass, like one vague mention of sex, hank bruising your ass, mention of AAHW agents getting killed, swearing)

written by addy
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Hank
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• This depends on your level of relationship with him and your comfort level honestly.

• If you're not used to physical touch, Hank would maybe brush his hand against your ass? idk man 😭

• But if you guys are on the touch-starved physical level?

• This bro will literally SMACK your CHEEK. like not the general ass THEY'LL TARGET THE CHEEK 😢

• Woah bro that squeeze did NOT go un-noticed!!

• Chill out man the ass isn't going anywhere

• DUDE STOP GRIPPING THE ASS

• Sorry! He bruised your ass!

Deimos
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• Ohohohoho

• This guy is definitely a sneaky scoundrel!!

• Would run up to you, smack the booty, and dart off like his popcorn was burning in the microwave.

• Deimos the type of mf to maliciously rub his hands together, giggle, lick his palm, reel his arm back as far as he could, SPIN IT A FEW TIMES, then deliver the most cheek-wobbling slap ever to exist in the history of Nevada 💀

• Of course you should smack HIS ass back

• Or ask Sanford to do it because you're scared lol!!!

• Sanford does not do it. He tells Deimos that you tried to get to bribe him into smacking his ass.

• Your ass gets smacked every time you walk past Deimos.

• The AAHW agents laugh at it and then get killed LMFAO

Sanford
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• Sanford is definitely a gentleman.

• ... That being said, he doesn't mind a nice little rump pat.

• Like the two of you will be cuddling somewhere, your face buried in his glorious pecs

• And he'll just gently rub your ass and give it a slight *pat*!

• It's usually never more than that UNLESS you're dared by Deimos.

• Because let's be honest, he would dare you to smack Sanford's ass.

• You smack what his momma gave him, and he doesn't really give a fuck

• Or he does, based on how 2BDamned had to yell at Sanford and Deimos to "Quit hitting eachother in the ass" It was funny honestly!!

• Butt bongos. No questions about it.

2BDamned / Doc
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• He's not really into physical affection, the entire relationship is more verbal based.

• On the rare days he DOES feel like smacking your juicy ass, it'll probably be a thing where you're coming back from a supply run, and he's like "Are you hurt anywhere? Let me check you for injuries." and as he's running his hands down your back, Doc MIGHT give you a SLIGHT smack.

• Like I said he's not rlly into physical touch? It's weird for him definitely.

• But oh boy you smack HIS ass?

• He'll be on you like flies to honey.

• Use that power wisely because the others like to barge into Doc's office without knocking!

• " Hey, 2BDa- Oh, my god. "

• - Probably Deimos coming to bug him about something LMAO

Tricky
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• Oh my god

• This feral ass clown is extremely handsy.

• Was worried at first that slapping your ass would hurt you.

• " CLOWN NO HURT Y/N! CLOWN LOVES Y/N!!!1!!.! "

• " No, Tricks- It won't hurt me, just don't do it too hard!! "

• So he wants his first time trying to be a nice experience for the both of you!

• He tackles you into a hug, using BOTH hands to repeatedly pat your ass.

• Is this mf stimming on your ass!!! Rad!!

• Tricky was getting a hot dog when you had the brilliant idea of smacking HIS ass.

• He turns around so slowly, you almost cry.

• " YOU DON'T SMACK CLOWN'S ASS... CLOWN SMACKS YOUR ASS!!!! "

• Cue the epic chase between you and Tricky! Because what he said was true, you don't smack the clown's ass. The clown smacks your ass. 👹