Soul Sparked

⚠️WARNING⚠️
This chapter contains discussions about past r@pe.

Stiles fiddled with the corner of his pillow and looked at Derek who was watching him. "So, before we start I wanted to let you know that I put a spell on the dorm. It will keep everyone out but you can leave at any time."

Derek tilted his head and a smile formed. "Giving me the choice to leave if I need it." Stiles nodded and Derek chuckled softly. "I honestly don't deserve you," he whispered.

Stiles shook his head and turned his palms facing up as one small orb formed on each one before coaxing them into the space between them just above their heads. "No. I don't believe that's true Derek." Stiles looked away from the orbs and smiled.

"So, is it alright with you if I start?" Derek asked. "After all I was the one who set things in motion."

"It's all right with me if you start. Just remember we're both safe and nothing you say will leave here just as I hope none of what I disclose will leave here. We can ask each other questions and just take our time. Okay?"

Derek nodded and took a deep breath, letting it out slowly before nodding again. "Okay. Let me tell you about Paige." Derek was shocked at how easy it was to talk about her. Not easy in that it didn't hurt him still but he had expected to feel more guarded with Stiles. However one look into those amber eyes so focused on him and him alone and he let the words flow.

"We were camping, and she went to get firewood. It all happened so fast, but I heard her scream and then by the time I got to her there was blood everywhere and I could tell she had cried. I almost didn't recognize her but it was like I couldn't breathe. I felt like I was underwater and every breath was like ice. Laura got through to me eventually but then all this white hot fury exploded and I lashed out at Cora, blaming her for it even though she wasn't the one to kill Paige."

"How old were you, Der?" Stiles whispered.

"Thirteen."

Stiles's fingers brushed over his soulmark and nodded. "I remember the wolf settling over my heart one night. It was late in the evening, and I wouldn't have seen it had I not felt like I needed to be somewhere."

Derek tilted his head. "My mama always said that when your mate is hurting or heartbroken the mark will settle over your heart."

Stiles nodded. "Mhm. My mom said that too. I'm sorry that you lost your first love Derek."

"My first lo–how did you know she was my first love?"

"The way you talk about her is how someone talks about the one they love," he whispered.

Derek choked back a sob and nodded as some tears fell down his cheeks. "I did. I really did. After she died, I withdrew so hard my mama and papa were worried." He paused and after accepting the tissues from Stiles continued. "She is the only girl I've ever loved. At that point it was hard because I knew she was human and therefore not my soulmate but–"

"The heart wants what it wants and there's nothing wrong with that Derek."

Derek gazed at Stiles in awe and gave a small smile. "I couldn't agree more."

Stiles returned the small smile with one of his own. "If you're feeling up to it I'm ready for you to continue."

Derek cleared his throat and nodded. "Of course. Well I tried to push all thoughts of romance out of my mind after Paige. I didn't actively seek anyone out but that didn't seem to matter considering along came Kate." Derek's voice wavered and he had to pause several times but the words came easier than he expected though no less painful.