Growing Up

October.

November.

December.

January.

                               February.

It was a really cold and quiet winter after that day. It would be worth talking about if they weren't stuffed inside their home from a mixture of crippling fear and ministry rules.

Remus spent a lot of that time in his own mind. He wanted to throw hero birthday parties, he wanted to watch Harry open his acceptance letter from Hogwarts, he wanted to watch him pick out his wand, he wanted to get that sweet boy a dreaded pet. He wanted so many things.

But to the help of Albus Dumbledore, none of that will ever happen.

He wanted to get married. He was sick of only one ring sitting on his finger. He was sick of being engaged.

He didn't talk to Regulus after that for a while too. A five-year-old shouldn't know that he was supposed to die. Remus thought he was just purely ignorant to say that in front Harry, but Sirius thought otherwise.

"He was right to say it, Remus!" Sirius bellowed through the empty hall.

"In front of a child? I don't think so." Remus barked back.

"He's my brother! He has a right to say whatever the hell he wants, especially when he died for it!"

"Doesn't matter." He hissed quietly. "It was ignorant."

"Reggie and i can say whatever we want." Sirius' face turned still, expressionless.

"It's our house."

Remus said nothing in return. He just walked away.

***

School was the only thing that kept them sane. Although it was hard to work under the careful eye of Albus, they did it anyway.

Remus stayed in Sirius' classroom most of the time. He normally apparated to Poppy's command when she needed him, but that was only a few times a day. So he had a little more than three hours of the day in his classroom.

"How do you classify a werewolf?" Sirius asked his class, glancing over at Remus.

"A monster." A student whispered giggling to his scrawny peers.

"Hey!" Sirius barked at the boy. He about fainted hearing his sharp voice

"Would you like to leave?" He asked calmly, the room falling silent around him.

"N- no profess- professor Black." the boy stuttered, his face turning a pale pink against the highlight of the white.

And Ivy kept Harry sane. Playdates were constant now, and Remus didn't mind.

Remus never believed when some would say that kids changed relationships, but he did now.

Sirius and him had grown distant. Too distant to be comfortable with. Instead of sleeping comfortably, their legs entangled, facing the other, they slept away from each other.

Harry still had his night terrors, and it killed them. They would always get there too late. When they slept in his room, they didn't happen.

Harry got continuously more scared with each one, now knowing that they were real. Remus started to write down what he would say to Harry, a hole burning in his chest as he wrote about the monstrous words that would come.

This caused Albus' inbox to flood. Questions, complaints, and vulgar attitudes seemed like the only thing that motivated the man to do his job.

Their life was at a standstill. Days melted into eachother as they tried to cram so much time with Harry into their schedule. Needless to say he was confused by this, but liked it anyway.

Regulus' portrait was quiet for a while, too. Harry would go up and talk, but his face stayed the same.

Remus hated all of this. The void in his chest got bigger with each passing day. He would stay out all day in the library, reading constantly about Horcruxes, but never found anything. Nobody had any information about a human being a living death sentence.

These late night drive Sirius insane. He would cook and clean and stay alone for hours with no word or warning.

"You can't just leave me here alone, Moony!" He yelled, slamming the bedroom door closed.

"So i've learned." Remus rolled his eyes. "I can't leave an adult alone? Be real, Sirius."

"I can't protect him by myself. You know what Dumbledore said."

Sirius was referencing what Dumbledore had explained to them years ago about protecting Harry together. One wizard was simply not enough to stand against Voldemort. But that was back when they believed him.

"Oh, so we're listening to a batshit crazy fossil?"

"Stop it!" Sirius hissed. "Just promise me that you won't stay out late again without telling me?"

"I don't make promises." Remus looked down.

"Not anymore."

Remus thought about all these little fights that they've had recently, and hated that they had come to this. It was almost shameful to think about. For years, they'd never had a fight. Although that was back in school, It still stood without saying that they loved each other, too much to upset the other.

Remus had been with Sirius for over half his life.

He didn't remember how to live without him.  

Thinking this, he needed to talk to him now. He got up immediately. He knew what would fix it.

"Hey, Padfoot." He asked, sitting next to him.

Sirius had a glint in his eyes watching him sit. They hadn't had a good conversation in a while.

"I know that we've been butting heads lately,"

Sirius snorted. "You think?"

Remus ignored his remark and continued. "I know what might help us out."

Sirius cocked his head to the side like a curious dog, waiting.

"Let's go have date night."

A/n: Sorry this is such a short chapter this week... chapter number 50 made me so excited i could barely write correctly! this is such a crazy milestone to me, and you guys are the only ones keeping me writing. I love reading all of your comments, they really make my day! it's always so great to see that y'all love this because i do, too. Thank you all so so so much for helping me achieve a goal like this, it couldn't have been possible without you!

Word count: 1015