Into The Shadow Realm | Rascal x fem reader story 2023

~Rascal's POV~

My childhood was strange, memories are mixed and matched, faded and blank in some areas. I can't remember why, and have no idea why this is the way it is. All I know is that it didn't start out like this.

When I was around six years of age, Emperor Nogo actively showed more interest in me and my life. Something was wrong though, I must have been outcasted and sent to the Ilusan Dungeons but couldn't remember why, and my master was kind enough to take me in.

I never had a mother, or a father, no siblings that I can remember anyway. In fact, my master Emperor Nogo was the only one that I would ever call close. Never out loud, but to me, he is the only ever guardian I have. He cared for me, read me fairy tales of unhappy endings and helped pick out clothes for me to wear.

As I became older and entered my early teenage years, he gave me additional power than the others had, trained me and forced me to learn extra history, while taking the subject as well.

Besides, he is also the only other jester I know of, so the connection has always been there.

Nogo would inform me that my negative energy is special, different to everyone else's, almost every night. He told me to protect it and use it wisely – of course meaning for missions to gather energy later on when he had almost been destroyed. Why or how is my energy 'special' or 'different' I still am unsure.

I know I am able to teleport further than the average creature, if you forget about (y/n)'s abilities, and I am the most durable out of all of the creatures I have ever stood against. I am standing and they are always on the floor defeated within seconds.

Then early in my education and training years, there was a subtle shift in my behaviour. I never caught the beginnings of it, though it wouldn't have mattered anyway. Suddenly I found that my mind and heart were set on excessive training, missions, and of course later; reviving my master. It was like the second Nogo was cast away and almost destroyed, all that I was concerned about was impressing him, exhausting my body with training and gathering as much negative energy as I could find in all the places in the universe, all for him.

In my time in the dungeons, I was doing the most for him by far, going out into the universe for weeks, sometimes even months to retrieve negative energy.

It felt like everything I was doing for him, my master Emperor Nogo, was never enough. As if my body and thoughts were compelling me to the point of falling into heaps every night in weakness, sometimes even in illness, to be gathering enough just to be able to talk to him through the Wheel of Doom for a minute or two, once or twice a month. 

Every night that my master was gone, I remember slinking down the side of my bed, sitting on the rooftops with my legs dangling off the sides and hiding away in all the secret rooms that only I knew of, bawling my eyes out for hours on end. Something was wrong with me, the thoughts were beginning to become obsessive to the point of compulsion, and I had no idea how to fix it.

Though, before Nogo was cast away, I begun getting restless, fidgety and feisty, so my master created my now favourite place to escape to. My circus. Nothing was different since I was still alone inside, but seeing as though I am was the only jester residing there, there had been no accommodations for me whatsoever in the dungeons.

Many years later, I figured it out. I realised why I was thinking these obsessive thoughts, why I spent all my time for this one creature who had taken me in, given me power and skill far advanced for the others my age, and was forced to adapt to them. These rational thoughts came through every now and again, silencing the rest, and I scolded myself for thinking that way and pushed them away. They continued coming through, and I had no choice but to listen.

But there isn't much you can do when your wrists are constantly trapped in chains with no escape.

Emperor Nogo is my master, and I am a slave to him.

The other creatures would purposely avoid me as years went on, until I knew full well that they thought of me as nothing but an overachiever, that I am too close and obsessed with my master, a teachers pet. I eventually grew a revulsion towards maintaining friendships, relationships or any sort of connection with anybody. Never did I once think about what I truly wanted for myself.

But then I grew older, with all this information baring down on my shoulders.

Did I even want my master to be revived?

It's ironic, that I myself as a jester am also a clown to my own nature.

Then,

Occasionally, there was someone that visited me through the night in my dreams. She would wear clothes and bear hair the colour of freshly fallen snow, and she would talk to me with the voice of an angel.

She would tell me, "It's not your fault," and I would cry in her arms as if I knew who she was and why she was coming to me. It became my favourite time of the week; my only escape was in my dreams.

That was, until she stopped showing up.

Without a second thought, I escaped (y/n) and now sit on the edge of the fortress in the Shadow Realm, dangling my legs off the edge, just like I used to do in the dungeons. Maybe part of me wants her to find me and ask me again about my fear. I know she is curious enough to, but cowardly doesn't even begin to describe the way I've just acted. She probably doesn't even want to see me, want to talk to me at all.

But what would I even say to her if she wants answers?

I don't even remember some of the hundreds of the memories showcased within the dream ball, but something about it feels right...like it definitely happened, only I can't remember!

Will I ever remember?

Why can't I remember!?

What did I do?

I must have done something!

What did I do that was so bad that I now have memories missing from my childhood!?

Who was I before I was sent to the dungeons?

I must have been someone, I must have had a purpose.

I must have done something wrong!

That's-that's it!

Of course I did something wrong!

I always do something wrong!

Nothing I do is ever good enough!

Something's wrong with me.

What's wrong with me!? ~

--

I really want to give Rascal a hug

Just to let everyone know, I want to write the next 2/3 chapters and post them all together because they're all really important, once they're completed I will post them all at the same time, so it may take a couple weeks. :)