all too well/ nate jacobs

The silence in the car on the way home was deafening and deadly. Lexi and Lily sat in the back sit in complete silence, as Suze and Cassie talked about Jessica's rampage.

'The fact that she just walked on stage and ruined the show' Suze cried, 'What a fucking bitch'

As she said this, Suze quickly slammed on hand on the steering wheel. The girls had jumped at this and proceeded to not speak to each other.

'Come on' Suze huffed, 'You girls are sisters. Can we just forget about this? It wasn't even that bad!'

'Stop talking about it' Lexi said quietly, 'It's embarrassing'

'Embarrassing is an understatement' Lily mumbled in response

'I thought it was good' Cassie added, 'Well before Jessica went up on stage'

'Or when you talked about Nate and me' Lily said with a huff

'Lola was you?' Suze asked

Cassie looked at her mum with a confused expression and wondered if she was paying attention to the show.

'Yeah it was' Lily cried, 'And now everyone in fucking school knows I was fucked over'

'It didn't take the play for everyone to know' Cassie added 

'Shut up Cassie' Lily snapped back, 'I'm so sick of people talking about me'

'Then don't date someone like Nate!' Lexi yelled, 'He's an asshole and everyone knows it...what did he say to you when you ran out?'

Lily looked over to her sister and wondered if Lexi truly believed in what she said sometimes. Was she really projecting her own faults onto Lily? Or did she just have no idea what she said half of the time?

'So it's my fault that I fell in love with him?' Lily cried, 'I love him and now it's all my own fucking fault'

'Woahhh...' Suze said

'What?!' Lily cried and said frantically, 'Are you guys fucking surprised? I love Nate Jacobs and he loves me apparently'

The tears began to run down Lily's face as everyone sat in silence at a sudden red light. Cassie turned her head to face her sister in the backseat.

'Is that what he told you?' Cassie asked, 'When you went to speak to him?'

'Don't act like you didn't hear it' Lily scoffed, 'I saw you standing there'

'I didn't hear all of it' Cassie said defensively, 'All I heard was that he was sorry'

'Bullshit' Lexi mumbled under her breath

'I don't want to hear it' Lily snapped at Lexi, 'It's not my fault that you haven't lived or been with a boy before'

'Hey' Suze said sternly, 'Let's not go there'

Lexi sat back in her seat and decided to not speak for the rest of the ride. Lily did the same and began to play back every moment from tonight. The words Nate said to her and the hopelessness in his voice. Was he truly sorry or was he just a really good actor?

...

Later that night, Lily truly felt like she couldn't trust Lexi or Cassie. This wouldn't be the first time she didn't trust Cassie, but Lexi was something she simply could not understand. She wanted to tell her everything about what happened with Nate tonight, but she knew that Lexi wouldn't listen or care. She understood why her sister hated him so much. Although, there was a part of her that just wished Lexi told her about the play before it happened. It was truly embarrassing, even if it got Nate to express his feelings to her.

Lily decided to get up from her bed and make her way downstairs. However, before she left her bedroom, she could feel her sisters avoiding any form of questions or nudging her to get them water/late night snacks.

There was a deadly silence between her, Cassie and Lexi.

She made her way downstairs and was immediately met by Suze. Lily decided to sit next to her mother on the couch as the TV blurred with a random reality show.

'Hey baby' Suze said as she wrapped her arm around Lily's shoulder, 'You doing okay?'

Lily truly thought about this for the first time in weeks and said, 'Not really'

'Let's have a chat' Suze said as she turned off the tv and turned to face her, 'I know you don't want to hear this and you know I would never tell you what to do...'

'But I really think you should reconsider this Nate situation' Suze began

'What do you mean?' Lily asked as she could feel a lump forming in her throat

'I think what Nate did was wrong' Suze goes on, 'But I also think there is something special between both of you'

'Mum' Lily said simply, 'He made that bet to protect his dad'

'Huh?' Suze asked confused

'His dad has been doing really bad stuff' Lily explained, 'I don't really want to explain all of it. But I think he just wanted to protect him'

'Carl Jacobs being an asshole isn't something new' Suze laughed, 'Look I don't care to know what Carl gets up too. I care about you and what matters to you'

'I don't think I can understand why he would do this' Lily cried

'I do think there is more to it' Suze comments simply, 'And I think Nate truly loves you. He drives by the street all the time'

'Isn't that just being a stalker?' Lily asked shrugging her shoulder and pretending she doesn't care

'Yeah possibly' Suze shrugged, 'But if I were you...I would just go see him. None of the crying or screaming'

'It's hard not to scream at him' Lily explained, 'I just feel so much anger...I just want to kill him and be with him at the same time'

'The true dilemma of loving a man' Suze laughed slightly, 'Just think about what I said. I don't want you to lose out on something that could be beautiful...even if it started like this'