My Beloved | Neteyam

"When did you realize Eywa gifted you?" Neteyam asked.

He and Rewonay were sitting on the sand by the forest edge. None of them had anything planned with their respective families so they decided to remain together on the beach, finding bliss in each other's presence. After wandering in the forest, they returned to the shore and rested there under the warm sun of Pandora. And since then, they had been talking. Well, Rewonay had mostly been talking. Neteyam wanted to know everything, anything about her so he had asked her questions. Silly ones like her favorite colors or more serious ones like the one he just asked.

"I was five when I realized something was wrong," Rewonay responded. "It first came as a dream. I was so scared I ran to tell my father and when what I foresaw really happened, he understood,"

"What did you see?"

Rewonay remained silent for a short moment. Her eyes were shadowed, staring blankly at the moons of Pandora as she remembered the very first vision she had. As she remembered the guilt she first felt. How she remembered the fright she was submerged with.

"I foresaw my grandmother's death,"

Neteyam did not utter a word, too shocked. He could sense the sadness from Rewonay's heart. He could not imagine how frightening it must be to see before anyone else the death of a loved one. And at the age of 5. It must be haunting.

The firstborn of Toruk Makto felt bad for reminding his beloved of such painful memories. It was not his intention. He was curious about her, about her ability. It never crossed his mind that she could see people's death before it happened. The burden she was bearing must be the heaviest.

"I'm sorry...," was all Neteyam could answer to her revelation.

Rewonay curled up her lips into a tiny smile and rolled to her side to face him. She tucked one of his braids behind his ear, making him shiver under her touch.

"It's alright. If I told you it's because I feel comfortable with you," she softly said.

His guilt then shifted to happiness. That was exactly what he wanted to he to her. He wanted to be her safe harbor. He wanted to be a person to which she could freely talk, to which she could be herself. And this was not a one-sided feeling.

"Tell me more about you," she then uttered. "I know nothing about you,"

He chuckled. "I already told you everything about me," he said, referring to all the things he had taught her about Pandora's forests.

"But you haven't told me anything about what's in here." She placed her hand on his chest, just above his heart.

For a moment Neteyam remained silent as if pondering and sorting his thoughts. As the firstborn and the oldest of his siblings, he was used to keeping his feelings hidden and taking it upon himself to aid and protect others. It was his role. His duty. It was what his father expected of him. So never once had he felt like he could confide in someone. Until now.

"My father is Toruk Makto," Neteyam said. "And I admire him for that. I don't want to disappoint him. But... what he had accomplished and his legacy... are so great I feel like it's impossible to catch up to him. I want to live up to him but his expectations are so high... No matter what I do, it feels like it's never enough."

Being the oldest among siblings was never easy. It was basically shouldering the role of a third parent. The oldest had to be a good example but also help raise the younger ones and look after them while also thinking of their own future that would make their parents proud. It was a lot of work. But added to that the pressure of the Chief duties that would inevitably be passed down to them and the great achievement done by the parents, the weight was even greater. And it was quite frustrating, especially when the younger ones thought of the oldest as a controlling perfect child who never got in trouble, who had it easy when in reality, it was the opposite. Of course, Neteyam loved his siblings and he would give his life for them but sometimes he wished they'd realize all the efforts he was putting in. He wished his father would see all the efforts he was putting in and congratulate him for that. Even just a little look of appreciation would be enough. Just one tiny smile.