The Winds Bring with them Change (Volume 1)

He and Aether had been searching once more, behind Venti's back this time, going off of the little info Kazuha had provided them and the intel Nahida had seen fit to share. Xiao still wasn't sure how he felt about the Dendro Archon, but considering that she had kept Aether alive to return home to them, there was at least a little respect there.

Venti's condition had not grown worse in a while. It was making Xiao nervous, though every time he tried to simply enjoy the peace as his dearest wanted. It was difficult for him, as he was used to acting on every scared impulse, attacking danger at any chance he got. This was not a danger he could fight, not a battle he would be able to win.

It was a horrible feeling.

In his long years of fighting for Rex Lapis, he had never felt so genuinely helpless, and now, hiding in the libraries of Inazuma with Aether, he could feel himself breaking down. Every muscle in his body felt tight enough to snap, every bone brittle. His mind, though easing from the affects of his debt, was always uneasy these days. Both of them knew. Even now, as they rifled through scrolls and pages full of text, Aether kept a close eye on him from behind the table.

His hair was up in a ribbon today, cascading along his back in a way that had made Venti jokingly swoon this morning before they left the teapot. Even without the façade of a joke, he was genuinely beautiful, even in the low light coming from the yellowed lights above the table.

Xiao was supposed to be helping the blonde with his commissions, but they had gone rather quickly and the both of them agreed that at least looking in the droves of books the Kitsune kept wouldn't hurt.

There was almost nothing to be found, as the manuscripts contained mostly works of fiction or gross over exaggerations of the Electro Archon's power. However, from behind him, Aether made an enthused little noise, lifting the papers he was looking over up over his head and motioning Xiao over.

A grin spread over his lips prettily, and Xiao felt himself fall a little further in just a moment as he gestured to a specific passage excitedly. Xiao glanced at it, shaking his head as he realized that this was in a different dialect than the one he had been taught in Liyue. Of course, he could pick out a word every so often, but it didn't give him the full scope of the manuscript.

Aether patted his shoulder sympathetically, signing quickly with an amused look in his eyes. Though Xiao had thought that perhaps in a relationship, Aether would be more responsible than Venti, he was almost immediately proven wrong. No, he was nearly as bad as the ex-Archon when it came to mischief making. Thankfully, Kazuha was still staying with them, as he was both responsible; and pertaining more to the current problem, able to read the differing dialects a whole lot better than either of them.

He took in a shaky breath, steadying himself before they went back and he had to once more be as strong as he could manage. Aether set the scroll down gently, bringing Xiao from where he was standing to a chair beside him.

"Are you ok Xiao?" His brow was furrowed in worry and Xiao felt a pang in his chest. He hadn't wanted to do this. He hadn't wanted to worry either of his partners like this. Xiao was so used to having to deal with these feelings of frustration all on his own that just the warmth of Aether's hand on the side of his neck had tears welling up in his eyes.

This was stupid. This was absolutely ridiculous, and definitely nothing to be getting this upset about. But even as he thought that, the shine in Aether's eyes was telling him exactly the opposite.

"Will a hug help at all?" Aether seemed to have read his silence as a resistance to speaking on the matter at all, which was easier for him in the short run, but the hurt in his chest seemed to tear free all the same.

As Aether's arms folded around him, the ache increased until warm tears were streaking down his cheeks and his shoulders were shaking.

He loved Venti, they loved Venti, and the lack of anything real to keep him with them was piling over and over until his heart cracked apart. Of course that was figurative, mere prose, but as he sat in Aether's arms, crying into his neck as if he was the only thing keeping him alive, it felt more real than anything else.

"I hate feeling so useless." His words sounded harsh, angry even as he stuttered them through shuddery breaths. Aether only held him even tighter, quietly strong as Xiao felt apart against him.

The guilt was gone now, leaving only an aching gaping hole that might have at one point been his heart. The blonde holding him kissed his throat once, tenderly as if anything more would break the beginnings of this thing they had.

It wouldn't, he knew it wouldn't. But he also knew how distraught he was and that anything behind the gentle embrace would be room for his own panic later on. But this was comfortable, kind even.

He wasn't entirely sure if he could call this thing love yet, as he did with Venti, even if not aloud. But it was something, and as Aether rubbed the back of his neck with a thumb gently, he was sure that it would grow to a point where he could call it that.

"You're trying your hardest A'Xiao, no one would blame you for being tired." And though the honorific sent a thrill of warmth through his stomach, he couldn't help but doubt the blonde's words. He had heard hundreds of times the hatred in mortals tones when he failed in his duty. That was all he was good for, it didn't matter how hard he tried or how much he wished he could perform his duty better than he had. All that mattered was that he failed.

He missed a stretch of land for one day and little Shua wandered off and got hurt by a cursed hilichurls.

His best mattered not when other's lives hung on the line he walked so carefully.

It was as though Aether could tell he was in doubt as he pressed another kiss to his cheek before rising swiftly. He gathered the scrolls and stuffed them into his pack almost as quickly as he could, grabbing Xiao's hand in his own and rushing them to the nearest teleport waypoint. He hit something in the air that Xiao couldn't see, and then they were standing amidst the peaks of Liyue, a rippling creek on the plateau below them. Slimes hopped over the surface of the water, turning to watch them warily as they made their way over the slippery rocks and down the mountain a little ways.

They entered a cave, raw stone giving way to stone tiling the further in they went. Though he was probably the one most familiar with the stone peaks of Liyue besides his lord, he had never seen anything like this in his long existence. They stopped at a formation he couldn't quite make out.

He drew closer, a sound leaving his lips that he didn't even know he was able to make.

This was....

Horror clutched at his chest in place of the grief that was so present earlier.

The statues he'd seen so often in Mondstadt, their model's beauty apparent even through the unmoving coldness of stone; this was like a caricature of them. It hung upside down, chains tethering it to the ceiling like some sort of mockery of the very Archon they portrayed. Purple liquid dripped from it's eyes.

Eyes he knew so well, but that were nearly unrecognizable past the horror Xiao felt so deep in his being. Venti could never know about this. This was disrespectful at the very least, and considering Venti's lingering feelings about his worth and purpose regarding the mortals, heresy at the least.

Aether hummed for Xiao's attention, drawing him away from the statue, the mockery it had made of the one they love. His finger's flew in the way they did when he was trying to get as many words out as fast as he could.

"This is where I failed." Xiao's brow's drew in, and he tilted his head in a way he hoped wasn't as scary as Venti teased him for.

"My sister, I found her here, and I tried so hard, so hard. But she walked away. And I screamed and cried and begged her to stop." The look in his eyes, and Xiao's recollection of this same account from much closer to the incident spoke even further.

He initiated the embrace this time, holding Aether like either of them might be prone to turning into their respective visions and floating away.

He knew they wouldn't, but sometimes he felt like he just might.