The Winds Bring with them Change (Volume 1)

It was not better when he awoke.

Zhongli, because the man who sat at the foot of his bed did not deserve the title of Lord, looked tired and kept staring down at his hands, a faraway look in his eyes. Aether was sleeping beside him, eyes puffy and red.

Xiao brushed a soft hand across his forehead, moving his bangs out of his eyes, as if that would help the wet tears still streaming to stop. He didn't even bother to look up, voice as harsh as he could make it.

"Leave."

There was a heavy sigh, and he knew that he was hurting Zhongli, but he couldn't bring himself to care in the moment. He'd adored the Geo Archon, loved him even, but he took the closest person from him. That was not a thing he could think of at the moment.

All there was now was the man curled beside him in what was their bed. It should have been all three of them here.

It wasn't.

Kazuha knocked lightly, stepping over the threshold just as softly. His gaze was sorry, guilty, as if he was the one who'd stabbed his arm through their partner's chest. He felt as though his eyes were dry, numbness spreading over him like a horrible unfeeling shield.

There was nothing to be said. He knew that even the anger he felt towards Zhongli was unjustified, but he didn't feel as bad for that.

Aether stirred in his grip, shaking out of what must have been a nightmare. His whole body is trembling, and he lifts his hands to rub at his eyes hard. It hurts. The only thing Xiao thinks he'll ever feel for the rest of his likely very long life is pain.

Kazuha sounds hesitant when he speaks, normally steady voice trembling enough for it to be unusual.

"I tried to help him. Is he.." He trailed off, sounding tired and worried, and Xiao felt a pang of guilt. They were all close to Venti, they were all feeling the same shock and guilt and horror that he was.

"You didn't kill him." HIs voice sounded firm, much stronger than he felt. He felt like he would crumble if anyone so much as spoke about the love of his life again. Aether is looking around now, hand clutched in Xiao's like they were the only tangible thing. Maybe they were.

Maybe there was nothing left in this world but the two of them. But no, Kazuha was standing right there, looking devastated, his eyes carefully blank. Xiao felt horrid. He'd looked up to this man as if he was some sort of immortal, untouchable being. In all reality, compared to the two of them, he was barely even a kid. And Xiao couldn't do anything to help him in his pain because he wasn't even sure how to feel pain anymore.

Aether rose to his feet, stumbling over something on the floor as he made his way over to Kazuha, gripping his arms and pulling him into his grasp. This was probably for the best.

Xiao wondered for a brief moment if he was broken. Perhaps the centuries of karmic debt had taken more of a toll than he'd thought. He wasn't sure what he was feeling, but he felt oddly detached from the situation as he watched the other two cry into each other's arms.

That was the only rational explanation for the lack of feelings in his chest, though it squeezed painfully as he watched them. He wasn't fully anything, be it mortal or not, Xiao was entirely and irrevocably broken.

Venti had held him to this plane of existence even before they became close, his mere presence across Teyvet like an anchor. The knowledge that his power meant that he was needed by someone, something, even if just the earth itself. But now....did he even really exist if there was no Anemo Archon to call to him with the wind?

The mortals liked to speak of how the Gods never really died, coming back later as a reward for any good deeds they did in their lives. In his youth Xiao would wonder if they included Adepti in their reincarnation fantasies, thinking that if he were to finally die he wouldn't want to come back.

Perhaps if they were fated as Venti liked to tease him, they would find each other again.

Xiao pondered as the other two made their slow way downstairs, as he sat on the edge of the bed, in their bedroom. There were bits of Venti all around, in the art on the walls, the window that he always insisted on leaving open.

Bits of his heart scattered around the room and he wondered how he ever did this before. The pain was not a thing he remembered well, though the numb feeling was. Could he do this?

But he heard Aether speaking from the doorway, voice cracking from more than just disuse this time, and knew that he would.

"Kazuha made you some food." He pauses, exhaustion seeping into his tone when he next speaks, "You should come down."

If Aether was going to try, then he could as well. After all, as much as he cared for Venti, he also cares for the traveler. Even if he felt he couldn't keep going, he would. It was just a matter of an hour at a time.

Just an hour.

One moment after the other, and soon enough he'll have lived a whole life again.