and then it's dark again, just like a spark - fireafy

 Summer breaks are meant to be fun! Hanging with friends, being able to relax, or doing just about anything you wish to do.

Not me though. Summer vacation brings prolonged feelings of sadness and no motivation to do anything at all.

However, I feel less tired than usual! I'm opening my curtains today!

Upon opening the curtains the morning summer light practically blinds me as I look out my window. Then I see it.

Firey's house.

My stomach aches as I think about how we used to be best friends, but then stuff happened and we just stopped talking.

It makes me sad, we were always so happy with each other. It's a shame we don't speak anymore.

I turn away from the window saying "oh well, I don't care that much I guess. You can't control that stuff" even though I do care.

I walk over to my desk and pull out my sketchbook in hopes that I will get hit with a really epic drawing idea. I sat for about 10 minutes.

Nothing.

Then I have a genuinely good idea. An apology letter. An apology to Firey. Never in my life have I had such a good idea. I rip out a page of my sketchbook and began to write a draft of the letter.

I mean, I want this apology to be perfect right?

For the rest of the day, I keep writing and rewriting repeatedly. I've probably made 13 drafts until my apology letter is finally perfect. The only problem is that it's 8 p.m.

Damn it. Do I have to wait until tomorrow to give this to him!?

For all, I know he could be busy tomorrow! The only reason I knew he wasn't busy today is because I saw him go and get the mail.

I sigh and look up at my ceiling while lying down on my bed for a while, which reminds me I need an envelope.

I run down to my mom's office and grab myself an envelope. I hold one of my orange, glittery markers and write "to: firey" on the front. I decided to add little stickers on it too.

Just staring at the decorated envelope my stomach starts to ache again. What if he never opens it? I included my phone number in there somewhere so we could text, but what if he doesn't text me? Even worse, what if he opens it, reads it once, and throws it away?

I feel my eyes watering.

Absolutely no way.

There is no way I can possibly be crying over something I'm not sure has even happened yet.

I can't help it.

Soon I just became a crying mess. Just a girl lying on her bed sobbing over scenarios that haven't even happened. Granted, I have cried over much sillier things but I need to pull myself together.

I get up and walk to the bathroom. With my shaky legs, it takes ages to walk just a couple of steps. I look in the mirror, just staring at myself. Looking at my puffy, bloodshot eyes, and my messy green hair.

Look at yourself Leafy, you're a mess!

Rubbing my eyes and trying my hardest to calm down eventually I do. I finally calm down and walk back to my room.

After a couple of breathing exercises, my mom comes into my room asking about what I want for dinner.

Once that conversation is over I decide to turn on some of my favorite music. The music in question is a very calm sunshine pop from the 1960s.

After I eat dinner and draw for a bit I start to feel much better than I did earlier. All my friends tell me I'm very sensitive. I get where they come from but I don't think I fall to pieces over anything. I mean, if something seems to be silly that I'm crying over, it's probably because I have a really big emotional connection to whatever I'm crying over.

Wow, I am a mess.

After a while, I get exhausted. I rub my eyes and stumble over to my bed. Flopping over on it I make a promise to myself that I am going to try my hardest to keep.

Tomorrow I will repair this damaged friendship, to my best ability.

word count: 714