Embrace The Chords & Strings | ZEROBASEONE

ep nine: all viable for debut

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When he invited others to hear him open up, it didn't make his fears of what was about to happen disappear. The art of admittance and acceptance was not magic — it didn't ask for smiles after or an erased worry. And it still made him hesitant to bare his heart out to the people he wasn't sure if he'll speak to after the show. Their fates were up in the air — if he whispers his stories to their ears it could go with the wind.

But it all bore down to the fact that he trusted them. All the __ people in the room made room in their hearts for him. And tonight was the evening he was ready to have them enter his heart with no secrets.

He sat beside Ji Woong and Jong Woo. Both the boys kept him in between, their bodies very close that he knew they can feel his breaths if it slowed down or sped up. His heart might knock on theirs if it drummed too loud. But he liked it this way — them feeling his vitals almost.

Ricky and Zhang Hao sat on one bed, their forms cuddled into the blankets as the airconditioning ran cold in the room. By their feet was GunWook and Matthew. Both boys dressed to their sleepwear, the younger had his eyeglasses on. And seated on a bed to himself was Park HanBin. All of these boys were tired but came in to Zhang Hao's dorm without question when June mentioned about wanting to talk.

"I was an orphan before my parents died in a fire just a few weeks back." There were times he knew how to lay down the conversation and regulate the feelings of other people. But tonight, he was baring the story of him. For him to even say every word, he'd have to focus on himself and the truth ringing in his ears. "My parents and I never were on good terms back until I remember. I struggled so much with their vices as they struggled with me being a child, not capable of taking care of myself."

Jong Woo's hand was by his knee, running circles as he searched for his ground at the threat of tears. "Caring for me wasn't in their priorities. And because of that I missed a lot school, didn't know about family-prepared meals. And what's bad about that is people start to notice when you're older." The curious gazes were looks he shied away because they were like school teachers, his peers' parents, or his fellow children. The eyes always searched for answers instead of hands slowly presenting themselves to comfort him. Opposite to how he was held by all the people in this room. They forgot about their curiosities quickly and directed their attention to him — his words, his actions, all these spoken or unspoken.

"My teachers called me out on it every few weeks or so. They pried about why I was skin and bones. They always told me they'd call my house to speak to my parents about it. And I got so scared that day." He remembered kneeling right then and there, clutching the hem of his teacher's pants, asking that they never do that. "I told them my parents were just really busy. But things were getting better with finances." He laughed with choked sobs — the scene painting before him, almost making him dissociate if it weren't for Ji Woong's hand to his waist that ran up and down his skin.

"I searched for a job right after school — plead with the first company that let me in their lobby without an accompanying guardian. And to my luck, the only time I've been lucky ever, it was Labyrinth Hub. They gave me the job of just hanging out the designing rooms to listen in how they made clothes or spoke with these big names for costumes."

A young boy, his stature short for those his age, always made people double glance at him. But with the strict policy in the company, nobody outright made him go away. When it was serious conversations, they asked someone to bring him to the cafeteria and let him eat until he was full. He'd deny most of the time but when they had the food in front of him, writing a note that it was especially for him, he ate.

"But you know that adults are really good at seeing through children. So even if they didn't know me, my parents, they knew that I was bringing money to the house. And they..." His eyes closed in the frustration of having a hard time to spill it. It was easy. The word was a few letters — he should do this. But it took him time, a long time that the others just waited patiently. Gun Wook handing him a water bottle to drink from as his throat burned at all the truths. "Their frustrations to me making money but also not making enough made them... they abused me."