wrong timing | kunimi a.

kunimi felt like a horrible fucking person.

that's really all he could say.

i feel like a horrible person.

he couldn't believe he had told shiho akira—his best friend since forever—that he didn't want to be friends with a jealous prick.

oh my god, he called her a jealous prick.

he was so obsessed with making watanabe happy that he had completely neglected shiho. much too belatedly—as much as he want to deny it— he had realized she was right.

he had neglected her and forgotten about her because of watanabe. she had been getting treated like shit and he didn't even pretend to care.

he wished he could turn back time and take back the things he had said.

he had tried texting her, to get her attention, but she never responded. she didn't even read his texts.

he kept trying to apologise to her, but got consistently shut down and ignored. she avoided him at school and at practice—which was completely fair. he would ignore himself too, he thought.

i hate myself.

watanabe never should've been his top priority.

it rang in the back of his mind like some stupid, twisted mantra.

shiho was always there for me, even when i was at my absolute lowest during my parents' divorce. why couldn't i be there for her?

(may or may not be canon but putting it in here for the sake of the fic aha)

shiho held and comforted him, made sure he was eating and sleeping properly. made his day better by whatever means she could.

she was always so much more mature than me.

her parents had divorced when she was 10. consequently, she was basically forced to raise herself.

despite that, she was the brightest, kindest, most supportive person kunimi knew.

and he threw all of that away for a girl.

after seeing her texts in the groupchat, i can't help but feel uneasy. what if she did something... rash after that day?

what if i'm the reason she isn't well enough to come to school?

what if she hurt herself?

during all the years kunimi had known her, he had never seen her cry so badly. he had never seen her so devastated, so angry.

had this whole situation affected her that badly?

kunimi jumped at the sound of the classroom door being slammed open.

"akira~! are you ready?"

he looked up to see a smiling watanabe, waiting for him at the door.

he hurriedly shoved the rest of his belongings into his bag and stood up, pushed down the gnawing guilt, and walked over to his.... girlfriend.

".....yeah. let's go."

«⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅»

volleyball practice that day was... dull.

that was what the kitagawa daiichi middle school boys' volleyball team thought.

oikawa and iwaizumi were bickering with each other, like always. the only difference was that this time, shiho wasn't there to stop them.

she was the only one who could ever get them to stop bickering.

it was often you'd see a volleyball spiked at their head, and a ticked-off shiho scolding them to get it together and act like they were third years. on some days, when the arguing got out of hand, she'd get a bucket full of water and throw it at them. (woah nekoma reference??)

kunimi smiled smally at the memory of oikawa and iwaizumi drenched from head to toe, an irritated shiho lecturing them.

practices were a whole lot more lively with shiho around, that was for sure.

"iwa-chan~! we don't have enough members for a match! there's only four on this team and five on that team!" oikawa complained.

"stop whining. get shiho to join the other team or something," iwaizumi grunted, stretching.

"shiho-chan..... still isn't here."

iwaizumi stopped in the middle of a stretch, looking up and around the gym. "....oh. right. i guess i assumed she'd be here this week. it's odd that she's missing so much school."

"yeah. she basically lives here, taking care of us," oikawa laughed. it wasn't quite as bright as it usually was.

"her not being her feels like having a missing piece of a puzzle, you know? not being able to complete it fully."

"that's a terrible metaphor, oikawa-senpai."
"shut up, dumbass!"

oikawa chased kageyama with a volleyball, threatening to spike it at his head.

iwaizumi rolled his eyes. "oi, kunimi!" he called.

"hm? do you need something, iwaizumi-san?" iwaizumi stood up and walked up to the younger boy.

"have you heard anything from shiho? i know you two fought. she told me," iwaizumi said.

kunimi winced at the mention of their fight. iwaizumi noticed, but didn't say anything and continued talking.

"but it just feels like something is off, you know? she's been studying so hard for the end of year exams. it's unlike her to miss so much of school."

"....no, i haven't. sorry. if i do hear anything, i'll let you know." iwaizumi nodded and walked off, presumably to scold oikawa for bothering his juniors.

kunimi sighed, bouncing a volleyball, trying to distract himself from thinking about shiho.

"even though it was a kinda cheesy metaphor, oikawa was right," kunimi thought to himself.

shiho completed the team, as their trusty manager who always knew how to run practices and take care of the boys.

she was always a dependable person. always selfless, always putting others before her.

she had taught herself basic first-aid procedures upon joining the team, and would always help tape iwaizumi's fingers after a harsh day of practice.

she would scold oikawa for overworking himself, and would always stay back late to make sure he didn't hurt himself.

whenever anyone needed help of any sort, she was there. even when she was exhausted from studying and carrying out her managerial duties, she was there.

he walked over to the bleachers to check his phone, opening his texts. still being left on delivered by shiho. he sighed, shoving it back in his bag, frustrated.

when he first made things official with mia, he thought that he would be happy. he thought that the fear of not being able to love someone would go away.

instead, he had lost someone that loved him, so, so, dearly. more than he ever deserved.

he felt as though an important piece of his own puzzle was missing, and he had a horrible feeling it would be extremely difficult to find it again.

«⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅»