The Favorite- Front Man x Reader- Squid Game

(Y/N's POV)

Truth be told, I was scared of my revelation. I was kind of scared of him now, or more so how being around him could be a tragedy for me. Hence why I sat alone in another chair by the TV even though I had to break my neck craning it to the left to look up and see my work coming together. I could tell In-Ho noticed my distance, and I felt bad especially knowing how the timing worked out. I had started this just after he killed a man for me and let me watch whenever I felt inclined.

       Realizing I could be making him feel negatively or at the least confused, I stood up and walked over to the left end of the couch, which was farthest from him. I pushed myself into the cushion on the armrest and leaned on it. I didn't want to make it obvious I was trying to get some space to figure out what I was thinking, but then again, I had to do it to protect myself. Love could be a terrible weapon and a weakness. Knowing I felt this way could only make our interactions awkward and any sense of camaraderie or friendship we had would be long gone. I didn't want that to happen, and I didn't want to think of what it meant for me to feel like this. It wouldn't be anything good.

        I saw all of the players shuffling in. Twenty-six of them, to be exact. All of them were walking side by side with another person, and a staff member was in front of each pair, leading them to the glass rooms. They all looked confused and reluctant to follow directions, but the huge rifle in the soldier's hands were enough to make them think twice as they hesitantly walked past the men and into the stalls. The staff shut them and locked them in. All of the people started to panic slightly when the female voice came on over head.

"Players, welcome to the fourth game. This game is Russian Roulette. Each team must be in their designated stalls facing each other. A firearm will be placed in the stalls with each team after a staff member flips a coin to see which player gets their turn first. When a player plays their turn, they must place the firearm to the side of their head and pull the trigger. Each player can do it as many times as they want as long as it is at least once. There is one bullet in the chamber of each gun. When a turn is over, the player must use the opening in front of them to pass the weapon to their teammate, which begins their turn. The staff member present will ensure that there is no cheating going on. You may also not shoot at your teammate. If this happens, the attacking player is eliminated. A player wins when their teammate is eliminated. Good luck."

I saw all of the staff get their coins, and I looked over at In-Ho. He seemed to be thinking deeply about something, and it for some reason unnerved me. I turned my attention back to the screen where the soldiers flipped their coins in perfect sync after each player claimed their side of the coin. It was funny to hear that most of them wanted to call "heads" until they found out that it was our version of the coin; the square and triangle. Most then picked square.

        The guns were then given out to the winning member, and I could see each trembling in fear as they held the gun to their temples. It was a good thing to go first, but it was also terrifying. I didn't exactly look into good strategies for this game, but going first and shooting twice seemed like a good option. I would be completely terrified to be in this game, so I don't know why I was so evil as to make other human beings go through this.

I think In-Ho could tell I wasn't having the best time with this and my emotions, but he kept his distance. It again made me feel shitty because he didn't deserve to be given this treatment.

I could only watch as someone died first time, player 174. How unlucky. His partner was thrilled, and I could see the change in emotions in a period of about 10 seconds. At first he was nervous, of course, because he was going next, but then when he heard the shot, he flinched hard and covered himself. When he realized 174 was crumpled on the floor of the small stall, a grin spread over his face as he silently celebrated his victory. I thought it was completely insensitive of him. Somebody just died, and all they could think of was advancing. The world really has gone to trash.

       ...

       The game went by nicely. There was one instance where the player had two chambers left that the bullet could be in and shot, revealing that it wasn't in the one he had just done, of course. The player obviously passed on their turn, and their opponent got very angry. They tried to shoot at the other person, but then they were shot by the soldier outside. I'm surprised that nobody tried to cheat and reset the barrel, but in retrospect, that was clearly a violation of rules, so nobody dared to attempt it. There was one older woman with graying hair that had broke down crying when it was her turn, and her teammate, an older gentleman, yelled at her for the whole time to get up. He punched at the glass, only hurting his hand in the process. The woman sobbed harder as she was collapsed on the ground hearing the man screaming at her, and the situation wasn't remedied in time for them to survive. The man argued with the soldier relentlessly that since she was refusing to play, she should be executed, and he should survive. They both ended up dead.

           I usually didn't stay this long, but I watched as the black coffins were brought in. It was such an intense experience to just watch how many dead bodies were carried out. At least one from each set of stalls. Only 11 survived. The number was dwindling down, but my kill count was only going up. Almost half a thousand people's deaths were on my hands. I had never thought of it that deeply before. It hit hard. Never in my life did I envision that this is what I would do for a living. Kill people. If I told my younger self that when I was in my early twenties, I'd move to South Korea and become the overseer of death games, I'm sure she would have been completely upset or disbelieving. Where had all my aspirations gone? I wanted to come here and work honestly, find adventure, and instead this is where I ended up.

       I finally realized that I had just been staring at the screen with nothing but the cleanup on it as In-Ho stared at me. I looked to my right and saw a flash of concern in his eyes. I held his gaze, but then I looked away because of how disgusted I was with myself. How did I let myself get here?

        I got up off of the couch and walked away quickly to the door, leaving In-Ho no explanation of my whereabouts. He stood up, trying to come after me, but I just ran out and shut the door behind me.

        In truth, I was going somewhere where I could just be surrounded by people who don't know me personally, so I was alone in a way. People who would be to busy to care about how I felt, which sounds lonely, but I felt like it would be good in the moment; to not be alone but not be bothered.

        I walked to all the incinerators. All the circles were working together seamlessly because they had surely gone through this process hundreds of times. It reminded me of the story I heard of when McDonalds was starting out. For hours, the less than a dozen employees were watched by the founders as they worked to see how everything was flowing. The second it wasn't going perfectly, they reorganized the workspace, and that went on for hours until they found the perfect placement for everything to work perfectly. The end result of that, everybody gracefully moving and fulfilling a purpose as though some intricate dance was being performed, resembled this. Nobody was in another's way, it was perfect chaos. Organized chaos. Maybe I'm a little OCD, so it satisfied me.

        I took a few more seconds to absorb all of it before I headed to the line of human ovens on the wall. I had got there in time for them to not yet be starting to shove them in, so I walked over quickly to see the process start.

        The workers eyed me, surely wondering why I was there and why I would waste my "precious time" watching them burn the bodies, but I just offered them a tight-lipped smile to ease any possible apprehensions my presence could bring. They slid the boxes in, and I watched as they pressed the buttons to unleash the heat onto them.

        I watched closely, feeling the heat from here and imagining the faces of the people inside the box. How terribly sad.

        It was as though watching the flames in front of me was the glimpse of hell I needed to feel as though that's not where I belonged.

        Original Publish Date: November 22, 2023

        I am so sorry I haven't posted in a while. I have not been the best lately, and I apologize for not giving much notice. Thanks for your patience and support as always. I hope to get back to my old schedule. Have a happy Thanksgiving!