It All Started In A McDonald's...

the debut of nick furry - aka a certain shapeshifting god

"So what's Rogers's theory in what the Nemilos want?" I asked, munching my sandwich. "Like, what does he think they want?"

"You won't believe it," Loki grinned, and it was from that moment I sensed we were in for some fun where this was concerned. In Loki's questionable and often insane way (guy has a strange sense of humour let me tell you). "Rogers thinks their aim is Stark's assassination."

I dropped my sandwich. It fell off the roof. I wanted to cry after it but felt that might be inappropriate. So I stared at him. I had a suspicion Barnes was doing the same, but he hadn't dropped his sandwich.

"OK," Barnes said, totally chill, and I realised he was not, in fact, as surprised as I was. "Stark has a lot of enemies. That makes sense. It'll blow over soon, they always do, so we don't need to do anything about that."

Loki grinned. "I also found out Rogers wants to settle this by himself without telling anyone or getting help-"

Barnes sighed. "Shit, trust Steve, of course he's gonna do something stupid. Changed my mind. What are we doing about it?"

"Talking to your boyfriend, by the sounds of things," I chipped in. He looked at me like he wanted to push me off the roof but couldn't be assed right now. Basically his one default expression, so I'm not offended. "Looks like we're gonna have to intervene and save the captain. Maybe it'll put us back in good books." I looked at Loki. "Did I get that bit right?"

Loki shrugged. "Truth be told, discreetly stopping a potential terrorist attack isn't my strong suit."

"Nor is discretion," me and Barnes said in unison.

"So, what, you need someone with experience in the field?" Barnes continued, scrunching up his pot noodle cup. "Maybe we could investigate where this group's HQ is and infiltrate it as spies, then take them down from the inside."

"May as well eradicate them if we can," Loki shrugged. I put my hand up. "Yes, Jamie?"

"What if, hear me out," I said, holding up my hands, "we just tell Stark?"

They both looked at me. Barnes spoke first. "Or we could do that," he agreed, nodding.

Loki frowned. "But that's so fucking boring."

Barnes shrugged. "Keep tabs on Steve then. Do your own digging. Keep spying if it makes you feel better. But if it's only his theory at the minute we probably should let them sort it." He stood up. "I'll go tell Steve not to be a twat and make sure Stark knows about this. Don't worry though. I won't tell them my source."

"Fine," Loki frowned. Once Barnes left, he lay back against the roof and sighed. "A terrorist attack is exactly what I need right now."

I scrunched up my sandwich wrapper. "Yeah, man, I know. You need a job."

"I fucking do." He looked up at me. "You think your place would hire me?"

I laughed. "The boss would piss you off, trust me, you wouldn't last half a minute." I looked down at where my sandwich was lying on the pavement below. It was a sad sight. "I am intrigued though. How have you been spying on Rogers, exactly?"

Loki grinned. "Have you heard of Nick Furry?"

I blinked. "Uh. You mean Nick Fury, right?"

"No, definitely Nick Furry," Loki insisted, and I shook my head in confusion. "He's the Compound's cat. Everyone affectionately calls him Nick Furry."

"How come I've never seen him?" I may not be much of a cat person, but I'm a sucker for cute animals.

"Because, unbeknownst to everyone, Nick Furry is actually me," Loki said. "I just make sure no one can catch me when I'm in cat form because I've been picked up before as a cat and it's really fucking awkward."

"Oh gods," I laughed. "That's absolutely amazing. You're following Rogers around as a cat."

"Yep," he nodded. "Appeared a couple times as god and as cat at the same time so no one is suspicious yet."

"That's genius," I nodded. "So I guess Nick Furry's gonna be in action again soon to find something else to cure his cabin fever?"

Loki nodded again. "Yeah. Hopefully everything goes to shit and they launch a surprise attack and I can come in and save the day like I've been obsessively researching the matter for weeks."

"I'd prefer if they didn't launch a surprise attack," I said, eyebrow raised. "Don't like Stark all that much, but y'know. I have enough on my plate with training, and the job, and the business, and procrastination on the summer work..."

"Yeah, well, I haven't," Loki shrugged. "I want to beat up some more terrorists."

"And I hope your dream comes true," I said sarcastically. I stood up and dusted myself off. "I'm gonna get a new sandwich, then we can continue with the simulation."

"Cool," Loki said, getting to his feet as well. A few moments passed. "Can we do the terrorist simulation?"

I sighed. "You aren't gonna drop this, are you?"

"Nope."