Letting Go (#Just抖阴社区It 30-Days Challenge)

'Cause I've been wasting so much time holding on

And now I'm letting go!

The lake was spread wide in front of me. A lighter and Teanna's photos were in my hands, waiting for the flame to consume everything into ashes. I flipped Teanna's last photo with the last two lines of the chorus part behind it. Two of her notebooks were stacked beside a small campfire. I couldn't make out the location but, it wasn't our backyard. The main subject of the picture was the paper in her hand. I squinted my eyes to read what she had written on it.

'I will never be a good writer no matter how great the stories I keep inside my head. I will never write the right words. All of the beautiful things I'd been through along this journey will never end up in a divine masterpiece that everyone would read. My time has come to its twilight though I can't estimate when will it be. There's no point for me to keep writing this. I will never finish it. My works will finish halfway together with me. I guess, no piece should be left halfway. I will destroy it before I am the one who will make it happen eventually. I do hope Reanna will see and feel the same thing like what I've experienced or maybe something better. She deserves them. She's a great writer.'

Tears welled in my eyes and as I shut them, the tears rolled down my cheeks, ceaseless like a waterfall. I broke into loud sobs. Teanna thought she would never write a great book that people would want to read. She knew that she wouldn't be able to finish her piece. She let go of everything before anyone could have the chance to notice her talent. And just like that, she handed all of them to me, hoping that I could do much better than her and show the world what we'd seen.

She wrote stories but, her coming death halted every magical things that she had written.

Between sobs, I burnt every picture to ashes, letting them go with Teanna's soul. I kept her spirit to myself as an ignition to my dream. I walked to the tree after the last photo had burnt to nothing but a pile of dust. Conrad was there, sitting casually on the bench.

"Hey," I said.

"Reanna. I know you would come again." His blue eyes were lit at the sight of me. Maybe I reminded him a lot of Teanna.

"I will always come back here." I smiled. "Con, do you mind to lend me something?"

He nodded with question hidden underneath his knitted eyebrows. "Name it. I'll try to find it."

"Your shoulder," I answered shortly.

Without waiting for his permission, I hugged him and burst into tears. I just wanted to be with someone right now, letting it all out. Con was the one who seemed to know Teanna quite a lot when I had no idea of her new self. Con wrapped his arm around me, his hand brushed my hair and it felt so brotherly. "What's wrong, Reanna?" He asked.

"Why would she do that? Why would she feel that way? Why didn't she realize? That she was always a great writer. Why?" I couldn't accept the fact that Teanna really thought that way. Teanna was always the one who supported me in my passion but, she didn't feel that way for herself.

Con stayed silent for a while. Then, he said "It's her choice to be that way. We'll never understand her main reason of doing it. When she's gone, everything that she left behind will be forever secret. Some secrets are meant to stay that way including hers."

I rested my head on his shoulder, still sobbing. His arm were around my shoulders, his hand squeezed gently at my right shoulder. "I don't feel like writing anymore. I don't think I can think of anything to write."

"Hey hey." He turned to face me. "Don't you ever stop writing. She must be very upset to hear that."

"I just can't."

"Look, Reanna. You really can do anything to put your mind to. Don't let anyone tell you differently. Including Teanna. Everybody is free to make their choices. So, don't stop doing it. All about the journey, not always the finish line. 抖阴社区rs have the power to change the location of the finish line. So do you."

My tongue was tied. I didn't know what to say anymore so, I just nodded.

I needed some time to recompose my mind and accept the reality. My pencil and notebook were calling for my name from the inside of my bag. The blank pages were begging to be tickled by the pencil lead. The lines demanded to be adorned with letters and punctuations. If only I could answer all of them and explain my condition that time.

"Just give me some time, okay?" I did answer them out loud.

'Ri, should I stop doing things that I want to do?'

Once again, to my surprise, he replied quickly.

'Why would you say that?'

'I don't know. I just feel that way.'

'You don't have to ask because if you ask anyone the same question, the answer will always be the same. Keep it going. You've gone so far. Look in front of you, the future. Don't look back. Teanna is your past. Don't forget the past but, don't let it be present and future. It takes looking back to see how far you've come. Don't stop. I'm stoked for the future and I want my friend to feel the same too.'

It was nice to know that you still had someone who got your back and from what Riley sent to me, even with his busy schedule, he would always support me like what Teanna had done to me before. Riley's words stuck in my mind, sending positive thoughts and new spirit all over me.

Teanna. Her spirit and words that she had said to me whenever I felt low for not knowing what tp write were ineradicable in my head and my heart.

Riley. His willingness to spend some time to reply to my email with his supportive words was something that I wouldn't be able to thank with infinite words of gratitude.

Conrad. The way he was there to be my shoulder to cry on even though he barely knew me touched my heart and I appreciated him as much as I appreciated Teanna and Riley.

I guess there was no excuse for me to stop doing my passion. Teanna had her own reason to stop but, I wasn't Teanna. I might be her sister but, I was not her. And, I was still alive and capable to continue pursuing my dream.

Pencil. Notebook. Checked.