Letting Go (#Just抖阴社区It 30-Days Challenge)

I spent days and nights along the summer to write the first draft. It was challenging. I didn't set a due date for me to finish the manuscript. The important thing was as long as I could write without depression and stress. Except for the writer's block.

'Gosh, I'm messed up.' I texted Ri. At last, we decided to exchange phone numbers.

He should be at home now since he told me that they just finished touring. 'Why is that, pal?'

'抖阴社区r's block.'

'抖阴社区 about me, then. Oh, don't forget my lil' bro, Tobes. LOL :p'

'Your part just passed and I've never talked to Toby.'

'Hey, I'm Toby.' He sent a photo of Toby waving at me. I laughed at that.

'I'm not kidding, Ri. 抖阴社区r's block sucks. Help me out.'

'How about you take some rest for your mind and your body, too. Don't push too hard. I don't want to imagine you bald. Or read some good pieces and think something out of the writings. Or maybe just listen to our songs :)'

'Alright then. Thanks :D Say hello back to Toby. And Connor too.'

I went downstairs, leaving my fortress built with words and letters to join Mom and Dad at the backyard. They were doing well after Teanna's death. Dad said no matter how long they were mourning, Teanna would not come back. Mom made grilled Nutella, a tribute recipe to Teanna. We used to enjoy our summer evening as a whole family in our backyard like this. We talked about my writings, Teanna's save-the-Mother-Nature simple attempts, Mom's plan for shopping, Dad's telling us about a few publisher friends he knew. Only this time, there would be no Teanna. But Mom and Dad were enjoying the evening sun like they used to. I kissed both of their cheeks before stuffing the grilled Nutella into my mouth. The melting chocolate and hazelnuts in my mouth tasted heavenly. Mom handed me a mug of tea.

"How's your writing, hon?"

"抖阴社区r's block again. Riley said I should take a break. So, this is me taking a break." I said, stuffing another bite of grilled Nutella. Mom and Dad seemed okay with my friendship with Riley.

"Teanna would be so proud of you." Mom patted my back, smiling with a hint of motherly pride underneath it.

"How close are you to the ending?" Dad asked. It struck something. All this time, I kept writing until I didn't even think to end it. There were too much to be told, too divine to not be written. I didn't even plan the ending. I wasn't prepared for an ending though. But, every story must have an ending but, mine weren't close to it yet.

"I can't tell but, every single line of the story will always lead to a finish line though. Don't worry, Dad. I don't care at what time the story will be published or how many times will it be rejected. Even Connor and his brothers and friends took years to reach where they are now, a well-known band. Success will always be there for us."

Mom and Dad grinned at my little preach. I was getting better at words of wisdom like Teanna used to say before. Lots of writing made me better with words in spontaneous situations.

I went back to my room after the last grilled Nutella was finished. I didn't go straight to my desk for another writing session. I wasn't ready for it yet. Like I told you, writer's block sucks.

Some days, I went up the Treanna to write. Con and I decided to name the tree so, it would not be a mere tree with some bottles hanging by its boughs. We wanted the tree to be the grand memento from Teanna to us. We painted the little library with new colors - grey and blue - and added some new books into it. Con built a ladder to give easier access to climb the tree so that we wouldn't catch any splinters into our skin. We reconstructed the wooden basement to make it wider for both of us to sit. Hanging out up there with some coffee with Con was cool on warm summer days.

Con started to like reading books. I gave him a copy of The Kite Runner graphic novel at first. He loved it and demanded for more great stories to be played in his head so, I lent him The Kite Runner novel. He didn't hesitate to read it even though he took days to finish at least three chapters.

Sometimes, we heard small kids talking from the bench under Treanna. Since the day we put in more children books, the little library was frequently visited by children. Teenagers came there to read the YA novels we put there and some of them left their novels there for the library. I wondered if Teanna had ever thought about this before. She must thought of it but, her illness shortened her time to do it.

There were days when I brought some grilled Nutella and served for the visitors of the little library. Not just the kids loved it, even the elderly people enjoyed it too. I loved to see the smiles and joy coming from them. Con would always be there. He might think the same thing with me, to make this memorial of Teanna a way to spread kindness like she used to do in her life.

"It's not what you go through, it's what you get out of it."

Now, I understood what did Riley mean by his words when I met him. The most essential thing of a journey and experience is not the thing that we've seen or been through but, the change and idea that come out of it that makes you a better, different person.

And, I'm making a difference from all the things I'd been through.