What Dreams Are Made Of

3.

"Exactly." Lane shrugged.

"My question is." Colt clapped his hands together. "What're you going to tell Li?"

"I'm not." I shook my head.

"Dude you tell Delilah everything. She's your best friend."

"Oh hey, I lost my virginity at 13 to a random 17 year old stranger in Barbados."

They all choked back a laugh.

"Well, it's a hell of a story to tell your kids." Ricky laughed.

"I've known this girl literally my whole life. I'm not telling her that."

"Then you may want to tell our other room mate that, so she doesn't open her mouth." Tucker nodded.

"Well, where is she at, I will."

"Probably on the beach behind the house." He shrugged.

"Well." I jumped up. "Meet at Janes for dinner?"

They all waved, and I ran the 15 minutes down the beach to the back of the plantation to my sweet Shay laying on a blanket in the sand.

"You got space for me?"

She opened her eyes and smiled up at me. "Always." She rolled to her stomach.

I laid down next to her on my stomach and nudged her. "Can we talk?"

"About?" She raised her eyebrows.

"What happened on vacation." I nodded.

She gave me a small smile. "I don't know what you're talking about." She shrugged. "There I was, in beautiful Barbados, my brother and his best friend right beside me the entire time, no one wandered off on their own, I was always in our room with them, and that is exactly what I'm going to tell the best friend of my brothers best friend." She nodded.

I let out a sigh of relief. "Thank you."

"Can I ask about it?"

I nodded.

"I've always been told that when you lose your virginity, it's supposed to mean something. I mean, it doesn't have to be with someone you love. But someone you trust, care about, cares about you." She nodded.

"And it is. Don't ever think it's not." I shook my head. "But, in that moment, I wanted to feel something other than sad. And I did. I felt good. But I do wish it was with someone I actually care about. Like my first kiss. That was with Delilah. Even though it was in spin the bottle, I wouldn't have wanted it with anyone else."

She sighed and rolled to her back. "Greif makes you do crazy things." She nodded.

"What'd you do?"

"Oh I staged car crashes with my barbies."

I raised my eyebrows and pursed my lips. "Well, that's dark."

She took a deep breath and nodded. "Do you want me to tell you the truth? Like, raw and gritty that Tuck won't talk about?"

"Please."

"I'm 12. Tucks 13. And our mom died 8 years ago. But you never stop grieving." She shook her head. "And, I've accepted that. Tuck hasn't yet. What Tucker hasn't told you, is that he rides his bike past our old house every day. But what I've learned, is that the best person to talk to when you need to talk about her, is her." She gave me a small smile. "You haven't been to the cemetery since her funeral. And that may help, because I know how hard it is to accept that she's not here, but I firmly believe that she's still listening. Tucker and I go once a week to just, tell her about our week. Mom and Dad go with us. So maybe talking to her would do you some good. But don't try to stop your grieving with random girls, because no matter what, who, or how many, it's never going to go away."

I sighed. "You know, I know Tuck loves me, and he's trying to protect my heart. But you, I know you love me too. And no one has told me to get over it, but you are the first one to tell me to stop trying. So thank you, for being so real with me."

"If you ever want to go, and need someone to go with, you know you can call me right? I mean, I know Tuck would go, but he doesn't take you guys with him. If you do, and you don't want to risk crying in front of the guys, I'll go, and I'll wipe your tears away."

I let out a small smile. "I'll take you up on that."

"But you know, I am kind of jealous. Always pictured you being my first kiss."

I let out a small laugh. "Even if I just had sex with a random girl in Barbados?"

She nodded. "Because like I said, your first should be someone you trust, care about and cares about you. I think the same way about first kisses. And aside from Tuck, which ew, incestual. The one boy who cares about me more than anyone in the world is you Cal."

I let out a small smile, and well, I just simply leaned down, and kissed her.

It wasn't a long kiss, but it was long enough to be considered an actual kiss.

It was soft, and sweet, gentle.

And it left her smiling.

"Consider the picture complete." I smiled.

"I'm telling Tuck." She laughed.

"Snitch." I mumbled.

She smiled. "But thank you."

"Of course Shay." I rolled to my back and grabbed her hand. "And you're right you know. I do care about you more than anyone."

"Well, if that's the case. Can you talk me through this whole Ricky and Colt thing." She whined.

"Oh boy. Yeah, I can do that."

"Oh god thank you." She rolled and hugged me.

Shayleen Gordon, is a saint.