Why So Far? || Minsung 3/3

"Hyung, can we talk?" I grab Chan's attention once he walks out of his classroom. His curls bounce as he nods, patting my shoulder.

"'Course mate, c'mon."

We find a bench near the university's fountain. I stare off into the water, watching the ducks. Clearing my throat, I prepare for my apology.

"Chan, I'm sorry."

He looks at me with surprise. "Sorry?"

"Yeah. I'm sorry for snapping at you so much these past few months. I know you were just trying to help. Truth is, there was a lot going on inside my head that made me think I couldn't talk to you or the others. Jisung and I talked everything out yesterday."

"It's alright. I know I was too pushy; I'm sorry about that. It's good to hear you and Jisung are getting back to normal. We were all worried."

I nod. "I know. When we were fighting, I felt... alone, I guess. It seemed like all of you liked Jisung a lot more than me. I thought that if I talked to one of you about what was going on, you guys would tell Jisung and leave me. I thought you guys would defend him and hate me for thinking badly of him."

His eyebrows pinch together with worry. "Minho, I'm so sorry. I didn't realize we were making you feel this way. We love you two equally, even if we happened to be spending more time with Jisung."

"I know. Thank you. Honestly, Seungmin is the one to thank for all of this. I apparently told him what was going on when I was drunk and he came to me and talked it out. I especially thought you hated me. I, um, I overheard something you said when I was sick. How I was dumping all of my stress onto Jisung."

"I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking when I said that. Sometimes I go to defend Jisung first because of what's happened with him. I should've been more understanding. He put me in my place when that happened."

I look at him, a bit of shocked filled in my expression. "He did? I-I mean you were right, but-"

"No, I wasn't. You weren't dumping your stress onto him. He was making you stress. I could see what was happening, but I didn't want to believe it. You didn't do much wrong, Minho, aside from miscommunication errors. Jisung was ignoring you a lot. We all brought it up to him, but it seemed to irritate him so we stopped. We should've talked to you about it ourselves and made sure you were okay. That's on us."

I stay silent, shock and relief setting in as I realized I hadn't been as crazy as I thought. Sure, Jisung and I talked it out, but I had some doubts. I thought I was over exaggerating.

"I think this entire change has put a lot of stress on everyone. Jisung's in a new place. He doesn't have his parents or brother. You were on your own first, also away from your parents, and then had your partner moving in after barely settling by yourself. It's understandable to not know what kind of distance should be kept, but that's why talking about things is important."

"Yeah. Thank you hyung. I really appreciate you letting me talk and apologize. Either way, I should have handled the situation better. I still have to apologize to Changbin and Felix."

"Did you snap at them too?"

"I blew off Changbin a lot. And I haven't really talked to Felix much because I thought he hated me for treating his best friend like crap. I want to clear it up with both of them."

"I understand. Good luck. If you ever need to talk, you know I'm always here. I should do a better job of reminding everyone how important they are to me, but especially you. You're the second oldest. You also have a lot of weight to carry on your shoulders, and I should be more aware of that. I really do love you. You're one of my best friends."