????? ???????? ????

"Don't you dare to say anything about dying"

My words were firm and held a warning in them. A warning to never ever put forth the topic of dying.

I can't lose anybody now. I really don't have any potential left in me to handle that.

Janvi is unwillingly the part of my life and so I can't deal with her saying she'd die. The mere thought of it is enough to make my blood boil.

I saw her eyes filled with tears and they reflect her fearfulness.

"You are scaring me" she voiced out. My fucked up brain should be happy that my presence scares her but this isn't settling well in it. Her destruction calms me but why the hell it isn't settling well in my brain.

"I'm sorry" I mumbled and drove towards her house. I didn't said anything after that and neither did she. On reaching, she didn't even glanced back at me and ran inside her house mouthing a small thank you.

I drove the car to my house. I don't know why the hell I'm feeling guilty. I never felt any emotions before so why am I feeling it now. Why I am not ready to lose her at any cost? I didn't even cared if she was on the deathbed but why it is affecting me now?

I need to stay in control. This all is bullshit. It might be because Alaya was in danger and so I'm overthinking about every minute possibility.

I got to know about Janvi being diagnosed with anorexia the other day when I called the doctor who was treating her. She didn't told me by herself and so I had to call the doctor.

The doctor said that it could be the cause of her fainting at times. I gathered information about the disorder and so found that she needs to take a proper meal on fixed times along with the prescribed medications.

I should have not shouted on her in the car. She flinched badly and she even voiced out that she is scared from me.

Brushing the bad thoughts away, I took a shower and it was already time for dinner. I checked some emails on my laptop and soon Shanvi entered my room.

"Bhai jaldi khaana serve karo. I'm hungry" she said. It's our daily routine.

I haven't appointed a chef before but now as Shanvi is staying here, so I did. Earlier she used to be in her hostel so it was only me but now that she is here for sometime, I need to be sure that I'm taking good care of her. 

The chef makes food for us but she doesn't eat anything until I serve it to her.

Princess for a reason

Keeping my work aside, I got up to serve her dinner and have it with her. She will tell me different stories and I have to listen all of it because then she will ask me questions about it. I daily have this exam.

Before that I picked my phone and texted her to eat on time.

She didn't replied to the text but read it as the blue tick appeared infront of the text I sent.