Quinn's Totally Realistic Oneshots (Genshin Impact & Honkai: Star Rail)

You smirked as you added another tally mark under your name. Heizou groaned.

"How the fuck did you get so far ahead? We were neck and neck just yesterday, you gotta be cheating!"

You look at Heizou like he's an idiot.

"Detective Shikanoin, are you accusing your fellow police officer of wrongful convictions?" You sound all too smug.

"No." Heizou sighs, "You've got a damn good moral compass."

"We'll then, you'd better get working, unless you wanna get utterly destroyed and lose our bet. Remember what's on the line here, Heizou."

You and Heizou have a monthly scoreboard of who catches more perps. Whoever wins has to fulfill whatever silly bet you've made that month. But the bets are getting worse each passing month.

This month, Heizou and you were doing this fake flirting thing to tease each other. So if you won, you'd have exclusive access to all of Heizou's private accounts for one day. He had this thing where he kept his online persona secret from the entire precinct and world. No one even knew his personal email or WhatsApp, for god's sake. If he won, you would have to go on a date with him, and then kiss him, too. He swore it wouldn't stop there. That he'd make you fall for him in one night.

There's just one teensy problem. The man annoys the ever loving shit out of you. His vibes just do not match yours. Most people consider you frenemies or something. You beg to differ.

You get home and change into something that's not so formal. As a detective, you have to wear formal stuff which you definitely dislike, but not as much as Heizou. He openly defies it. It's a whole thing between him and your captain, Kujou Sara.

You bounce into your bed and pull out your laptop, logging onto 抖阴社区. What, just because you're a police officer doesn't mean you can't write some nice angsty fanfics.
Multifaceted people do exist.

You get cozy in your blankets and spend the next few hours typing out a, ahem, rather smutty oneshot.

A notification dings.

Your (only) online friend is texting you in 抖阴社区 DMs ((yes ik they removed them, bear with me))

WouldFlirtWithALog
@ActuallyDeadCat what's up?
Been a while

You've known WouldFlirtWithALog for seven years now. Recently, he's been getting busy with work because he's been trying to beat this annoying co-worker. You absolutely hate said co-worker. Possibly because WouldFlirtWithALog has mentioned multiple times he has a crush on them. And you... Have a crush on him. You know it's fucking wonky, okay. The chances are miniscule that you even live on the same continent. Seeing as your 'continent' is the island-continent-nation of Inazuma.

Besides, what would even make him go out with you? If by some miracle you lived in the same city. What if he was like a sixty year old man.

Ah, fuck. You should probably respond to him.

ActuallyDeadCat
Hey hey loml
Why have you chosen to contact me this fine day?

WouldFlirtWithALog
Nothing
Just missed my sweetheart

ActuallyDeadCat
Living up to your username?
Someone's sweet today
Too sweet

WouldFlirtWithALog
Seeing as you're only online when writing something, what are you writing?

ActuallyDeadCat
Trust me you don't wanna know.

WouldFlirtWithALog
Yk I do
Spill.