How Not To Be A Groupie

I opened my eyes and felt myself moving. 

Right above me was the bottom of another bed. To my right was a wall. To my left I could just make out a man who looked like Malcolm sitting in the seat working on a crossword puzzle. And to the left of him was the tour bus window, sunlight glaring through.

Wait....

Sunlight???

I sat up fast and hit my head on the bed above me. Wincing in pain I looked through the slot to make sure nobody saw me. Malcolm never looked up at me, he was too busy getting the right answer. I watched him for a bit to see if he'd feel my eyes boring into him. 

Nothing.

The bus was moving at a steady pace down the road and I didn't feel sick at all. I saw some others sitting in the seats across from me, most of whom I didn't recognize. Of course, I could only see the backs of their heads. It had been dark out when I climbed in here and fell asleep and now the sun was out, and we were moving. 

Oh my God, they're kidnapping me...

I stifled any panic that might surface and took deep breaths. Being stuck in this coffin toaster wouldn't help me calm down so I decided to climb out. I got about halfway out, the bus jangling me around, when Malcolm finally noticed.

"Have you been in there the whole time?" he asked getting the attention of a few others. I stood there with one foot still in the slot, frozen, looking at those around me. Most of the passengers were road crew. Cliff was there and he didn't look as surprised as Malcolm did. The other boys and even Stelle must have gotten on the other bus. While looking like an idiot standing on one foot and not giving a damn, I leaned towards Malcolm and lowered my voice.

"Where are we going?" I asked. I could see his crossword puzzle better from here. He was halfway finished. 

"We're headed back to the hotel," he said. "The party went on a little longer than expected..."

I squinted from the sun. I could see that.

Everybody seemed to have forgotten about me and went back to their own business. I pulled my leg out and looked around for an empty seat when I realized to my disappointment I had to use the bathroom. I grabbed my pen and notebook and made my way to the back of the bus behind the curtain, getting tossed around as I did so. 

There were a few people back there to my horror. Just one man and a couple of women. They were talking over their breakfast which looked like some leftover pizza from the night before. They barely seemed to notice me as I grabbed the key off the hook just in case and tried the knob. 

It opened.

So they must have unlocked it for practical daytime use. Taking the key with me in case anyone tried getting in, I closed the door behind me and immediately noticed the smell. Someone had been sick and....it hadn't been completely cleared away. The toilet paper had been replaced thank God, and I carefully got myself comfortable on the tiny seat. My journalist equipment lay on the floor. 

I don't recommend tour bus toilets. At least, not while the bus is in motion.

I had one hand on the wall to hold me in place and I got up as quick as I could. I flushed it and watched in fascination as everything just...disappeared. But the vomit smell lingered and I got out of there. 

As soon as I found my hotel room I'd be having a shower. There wasn't even a sink to wash my hands! Hanging the key back up I left the curtained room, the occupants still not paying me any mind and I headed for an empty seat. "Here, take this spot," Malcolm said scooting over to sit by the window. "Kinda full up there." Happy to sit next to someone I knew I accepted. The seat was so much more comfortable than any folding chair, toaster bed, and toilet combined. I couldn't stretch out very well but I didn't care. "Sleep good?" Malcolm asked.