walking forward with the passing shadows - motherland (bbc) isekai fanfic

I've known Julia for as long as our kids were in the same school. Of course, we didn't know each other that well until a bit more recently-ish. Marion, her mother, was much more well known in the class's mums and probably the whole school too because she had her take care of her children for her due to her work organizing corporate events.

I still remember that day we first became friends. Even to this day, the blood from my middle finger still lingers on the counter and the cutting board. I tried washing it off with hydrogen peroxide, but it still stays.

Did I have the best first impression of her? Not really, she was on the verge of tears, clearly stressed out when I first met her. Did she get better? Absolutely not. I have to say, for someone who organizes corporate events, she is not organized herself, to the point where she will take any opportunity to get her children away from her. A user, selfish (not as much as Amanda but coming close), and unapologetically defensive and stubborn. But yet, I still can't be fully angry at her for any of that. In a way, she reminds me of how I felt about Lee a bit.

I have to admit, Manaria also helped me figure out a good chunk of myself, including how I feel about Julia. Not all, but enough. I've had some attraction to girls over the years, but nothing too serious to think about... I think.

"You miss Julia don't you?" Manaria asks. "Does it have something to do with Julia?" "You really care about her don't you?" What a prick. It's one thing when Kevin does it but it's another thing when Manaria does it, but at least she has good intentions. I think she's trying to understand my feelings more, or something like that. That's what she told me anyway. She should get a job as an unlicensed therapist if the illustration shit she does goes down a ditch.

The more I hung out with Julia, the more I felt this... warm feeling. With Manaria and Kevin, I also felt that warm feeling, but somehow it was much stronger with Julia. It's strange. I could get over the man I was married to for a few years, who I've known for years, but not the woman that I became friends with for just over a year... I could stay angry at her but that stupid look in her eyes makes me think otherwise... and I really do mean stupid. Honestly, she's the only person who I'd allow to call me by a nickname, or even bloody 'Elizabeth'. I didn't even allow Lee to give me a nickname or call me 'Elizabeth'.

Then the only problem with me fancying Julia is that she's married. Fine with me, I'll be pining forever then. Doesn't sound too bad... haha.

I could probably apply the same logic (if any) with Amanda. Unlike Julia she's organized but she's also an actual selfish fucking attention-seeking toxic-mouthed brat at that. But I have to admit, we do share some common ground, probably. Our kids are friends so that has to mean something. We're like natural born rivals, if those rivals only gave each other occasional insults, backhanded compliments, and also kissed once. I technically didn't have to pay for the kiss because Manaria gave me 3 pounds the Monday after the fundraiser (What a prick.). I would even say that Amanda liked the kiss. I certainly did. Dirty bastard. Would do it again.

But then Julia... See, this is what I'm saying. Everything I think about somehow circles back to her. Then... I guess...

If I were to become a better person... It would be all for you, Julia. I'd love for you to know that.

(note: slightly inspired by mikage nikki (mikage's diary) by harumaki gohan)